One of 'em even tried to slide into her DMs... unsuccessfully.
All those shirtless TikTok dances haven't really Swayed her opinion.
Alex Cooper has ranked the boys of Sway House — and to be honest, she doesn't sound too impressed.
The "Call Her Daddy" host was a guest on fellow podcast BFFs with Barstool Sports' Dave Portnoy, and Josh Richards, who himself was a member of the TikTok clan under review.
.@alexandracooper ranks who is the hottest in the Sway House on Episode 4 of the BFFs podcast https://t.co/Hc4DAtxO9h pic.twitter.com/hy5RnvzSkl
— BFFs with Dave Portnoy and Josh Richards (@BFFsPod) November 12, 2020 @BFFsPod
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View StoryWhen the hosts showed her the list, the 26-year-old revealed the first person on it, Griffin Johnson, had already shot his shot at her.
"Oh my God this person's in my DMs, I think," she exclaimed, to uproarious laughter from the hosts.
"He's just sliding in and saying hi, I haven't opened it or anything... I think he just said 'yo'.
The incredulous hosts theorized that because he's been hitting the gym so much Johnson thinks he can get away with "rifling off 7,000 'yos'" to the women of Instagram and seeing what stuck.
She gave him the benefit of the doubt for testing the water, admitting that guys have to be careful sliding into her DMs because she is the host of a sex advice podcast and could blow them up Monday morning.
During the discussion Griffin, for his part, confirmed that he did indeed try to slide in... and it was a "failed mission":
.@JoshRichards @stoolpresidente confirmed that i did slide into @alexandracooper DM’s.. it was a failed mission
— Griffin Johnson (@lmgriffjohnson) November 12, 2020 @lmgriffjohnson
In the end, she gave him credit for trying and concluded that while he was "a great looking dude", he was far too young... which didn't bode well for his housemates, as at the grand old age of 21, is the oldest among them.
Next up was Noah Beck.
"Is it so rude to say I just think they are overdoing the listing?" Alex mused. "They're just trying too hard."
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View Story"This is my thought: If a guy has that much on his body, I'm like, you don't really make money and you don't have a job. Like, you have too much time to work out."
Josh confirmed that all the boys do besides sleep and record TikToks, is lift and drink protein shakes.
It wasn't just Beck's narcissism that put her off — it was his so-called relationship with Griffin's ex, Dixie D’Amelio.
"Noah Beck, I just can't because of the information I'm hearing about his girlfriend," she said. "I just don't like when people fake relationships for the internet, that pisses me the f--k off."
How about Blake Gray? "Ok, no," was her initial assessment.
(The conversation begins around the 23:30 mark)
"This kid, if I could give you any advice: go back to your black hair."
She said a lot of dudes who go bleach blonde "can look so f--king hot", giving Justin Bieber as an example.
But Blake Gray, "for some reason — and this is no shade to him cause he's a good looking kid — the blonde is not f--king working for him and he HAS to go back to black hair immediately," she decreed.
Cooper revealed that Gray's girlfriend Amelie Zilber had reached out for relationship advice, and it certainly sounds like what she received back was advice on his hair color.
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View Story"This kid needs to get it together, you really need to get out of that bleach stage, cut it the f--k out," she advised.
Jaden Hossler, whom she recognized from a Travis Barker video, got a "he's not... bad."
She added he was "maybe silently hot in a weird way," but reserved judgment until she heard his voice.
And Bryce Hall?
"No," she decisively announced. "And I feel bad, I'm not being an asshole, I'm just saying like... no."
Confirming he was "definitely not my cup of tea", she said he looked like Sid the sloth from Ice Age.
Lil Huddy she said she had seen him dancing... and that it made her uncomfortable.
The only person who got a fully positive review, and thus was ranked number one on her list, Josh Richards... although it may have been because he was sitting right beside her.
"Oh my god this guy is so hot, holy shit!" she exclaimed, with a detectable trace of sarcasm, although she did add more genuinely: "He has a very attractive face."