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After the man's mother-in-law joined them on a trip to Venice, he calls out her "unhygienic" and annoying behavior -- abandoning them in Italy and sparking potential divorce in the process.
A man has taken to the internet for advice after he snapped at his mother-in-law and wife while on a "dream" vacation. He became so angry during the holiday that he booked flights home and abruptly left.
The 38-year-old shared his story on Reddit's AITA ("Am I the A--hole") forum to see if he was in the right, after explaining how he reached his breaking point.
The OP (a.k.a "original poster") prefaced that he is a "very private person" and felt his mother-in-law was overstepping. However, his wife was furious at his behavior ... and it looks like the Internet is too.
Read on to see what went down, and how Redditors reacted.
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View StoryDream Vacation?
"I, 38M, am the solo breadwinner of this house. I have a wife 35F and a daughter 5F. Me and my wife has been planning this family vacation to Venice for months. For context, my daughter is very little and she needs constant attention or she will get into trouble," OP began, before adding that his mother-in-law was going to join them on their trip.
"Venice has always been my wife's idea of a romantic city, so it's been her dream to go there. However, we can't just leave our daughter at home. We initially wanted to leave her at my MIL's house, but she wanted to come with us and my MIL said that it was her dream to visit too," he said, before admitting that he felt "reluctant" of the idea while his wife was "very supportive" of it.
"My wife planned everything, booking the hotels and the restaurants. However, to my dismay, she booked 1 rooms of 2 queens instead of two rooms with two kings. I planned for this to be a romantic getaway, and did not want my daughter in the room with us. We could easily afford two rooms, but my wife wanted to keep an eye on her as well," he said, setting the scene adding that his "MIL was constantly" in his space.
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View Story"She also had to share all of my wife's expensive products (facewash, shampoo, lotion, etc). My daughter likes to sit on our bed when me and my wife are gone to the city, and I come back to see that MIL was sitting on our bed too," he said before adding that his MIL went through their suitcase. "It is very unhygienic to me and I don't like that she was sitting on the bed that me and my wife share, as I am a very private person. She also rummaged through our suitcase looking for a hair tie, and it really irked me that she did so without asking me. I don't like the thought of her looking through our stuff when we're gone, so I locked it."
Then the straw that broke the camel's back ... the toothpaste.
"For the last few days, she's been sharing the same toothpaste as me and my wife! I don't like the thought of her putting her tooth brush close to (or even on) the toothpaste nozzle and I was ill the more I thought about it," he said before adding that he confronted his MIL about his issues. "I asked MIL if the only reason she came was to freeload off of me and my wife, as she didn't pay for any of the expenses (hotel, amenities, food), only her own plane tickets. I said that I've asked her politely several times to stop using my wife's stuff, especially because I share it with her and it's very inappropriate."
That, unsurprisingly, didn't go over well. In fact, the MIL was "very upset" and told her daughter/his wife.
"My wife screamed at me. I was very angry that the trip that I paid with MY OWN MONEY was now ruined, and I changed the date of my plane ticket and went straight home. My wife has called me several times afterwards, screaming at me and saying that our daughter is upset. I feel bad that our daughter was caught in the situation, but it was really not acceptable what my MIL did and I had to set some boundaries before it gets worse," he continued -- adding that his wife "has her own card and enough money to stay".
He has since been "ignoring her calls" for his "mental health."
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Redditors are not afraid to share their opinions and, in this case, so many said "YTA" (you're the asshole) that Reddit gave him an official "A-hole" badge.
"Look, I’m sorry to break it to you but, uh, that bed that MIL sat on? Other people have already done way less hygienic things on it. OP you sound insufferable. And it's not your money. It's your money and your wife's money. Community property. YTA.," one social media user said.
While another said, "Wow. Your wife books the wrong hotel room so your solution is to abandon her on her dream vacation, forcing her to care for your high-maintenance kindergartener on her own? Couldn’t you have booked a separate room for your MIL instead of abandoning your wife and child? YTA."
Another said that "continuing to ignore her calls" is "harming" her marriage adding, "All of this happened because you couldn't communicate like an adult (how hard is it to say "let's go buy another toothpaste so you don't have to use ours" for example?) and now you're doing the opposite of damage control by avoiding her on purpose and claiming that it's for your mental health."
Another attempted to predict the future, "Next up: 'AITA for divorcing my husband after he abandoned me while on vacation because my mom used his toothpaste?'"
With over 825 comments at the time of writing, it was difficult to find one person saying OP was NTA.
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After receiving many comments labelling OP an a-hole, OP took some of the advice and revealed he wanted to call his wife and apologize.
"Thank you to everyone that responded. I'm reading through each response carefully and I have realized my mistakes," OP shared on his original post. "I'm taking tonight to write a sincere apology and I will be calling my wife first thing in the morning tomorrow. Thank you again. I love her more than anything and I want to make amends."
Unfortunately for OP, he may have been too late ... he shared a final update revealing that he did in fact harm his marriage.
"I just called my wife to deliver my sincere apology. I am writing this with a heavy heart. She has blocked my number, and my MIL informed me that she will be looking into divorce proceedings. I have never thought about this happening, and I am at a loss of what to do. I have failed our family, as a husband and as a father. I am not angry at my wife for this decision, but I still cling to the hope that I can turn this around," he shared with the thread.
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View StoryHe admitted that he was "not rational" when he "stormed off" and that his wife "did not deserve his attitude".
"I am praying at this moment that after sometime off and after I change myself for the better, she will reconsider this divorce. I am going to contact a therapist and marriage counselling after posting this. I feel myself spiraling and I don't want to think how I ruined my life in the span of these 48 hours," OP concluded before thanking everyone for their responses and that his world has come "crashing down".
What do you think?