Jimmy Kimmel kicked off the Oscars with a monologue taking aim at everyone from President Donald Trump to Mel Gibson.
Here are his 9 best jokes from the opening:
"The way you people go through hosts, it's probably my last time here."
"This broadcast is being watched live by millions of Americans and around the world in over 225 countries that now hate us."
"The country is divided right now. People been telling me, it's time to bring everyone together. Let's just get something straight off the top, I can't do that. There's only one Braveheart in this room and he's not going to unite us either. Mel [Gibson] you look great, I think the Scientology is working."
"Tonight in the spirit of healing and bringing people together, I would like to bury the hatchet with someone I've had issues with, Matt Damon. I've known Matt so long, when I first met Matt, I was the fat one. Matt could have starred in 'Manchester by the Sea' and he could have taken that lead actor part for himself ... [but] he made a Chinese ponytail movie instead. That movie, 'The Great Wall,' went on to lose $8 million dollars. Smooth move dumbass."
"I want to say thank you to President Trump. Remember last year when it seemed like the Oscars was racist? That's gone, thanks to him."
"Black people saved NASA and white people saved jazz, that's what you call progress."
"Of all the nominees, the only happy ending was the one in the middle of 'Moonlight.'"
To Isabelle Huppert, "I'm glad homeland security let you in tonight."
- "Of all the great actors here in Hollywood, one in particular has stood the test of time for her uninspiring and overrated performances. Mediocre, underwhelming, Meryl Streep has phoned it in for over 50 films over the course of her lackluster career. Would everyone please join me in giving Meryl Streep a totally undeserved round of applause. Nice dress by the way, is that an Ivanka?"
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