Poor Kevin Keller, couldn't even finish opening night of the school musical he directed without someone popping up dead midway through.
That's right, the kid of "Riverdale" put on "Carrie: The Musical" this week and just like the title character on prom night, the stage was covered in blood. Midge's blood, specifically. It wasn't all murder and gloom though, as a few of the long-simmering feuds between the core characters were fixed by the magic of song.
Let's dig into the 5 moments from "A Night to Remember" we just need to talk about.
It's not "Carrie" without a few dead bodies, but did anyone expect poor unsuspecting Midge to kick the bucket?
Throughout the hour, someone was making it very clear they didn't want Cheryl Blossom (Madelaine Petsch) in the title role. First, a sandbag nearly hit her in the head. Then, Kevin revealed he got a note from "The Black Hood" saying he needed to recast or "suffer the consequences."
Just as he was about to give in, for "safety" purposes, Penelope Blossom swooped in and pulled her from the show anyway. Apparently, they need parental approval to be in the musical, something Penny wasn't ready to give. "This matricidal revenge fantasy -- never gonna happen," she told her. Midge then took over the part, much to Ethel Muggs' (Shannon Purser) dismay.
Despite replacing Cheryl, the person claiming to be The Black Hood still struck, stabbing Midge to death and leaving her body to pop up on stage during Alice Cooper's (Madchen Amick) big musical number. How rude, right?
So ... who did it? Kevin's convinced it's not actually The Black Hood, since his dad shot and killed the man everyone believed was responsible for the town's previous murder spree. That resolution never really sat well with us at TooFab, however, so the real killer could still be on the loose.
Other suspects include Ethel -- who had magazine cutouts similar to Kevin's note in her dressing room -- and Fangs, who was last seen with Midge backstage moments before her death. And then there's Chik (Hart Denton), who just happened to be at the show too and continues to be creepy AF.
Almost all the beef on this show was squashed during the production of the musical. Maybe singing really is therapeutic!
Betty/Veronica: Betty (Lili Reinhart) couldn't resist talking smack about Veronica (Camila Mendes) for most the episode, saying she was just as much of a spoiled rich girl with daddy issues as her character, bad girl Chris Hargensen. Archie (KJ Apa) intervened, calling Betty a mean girl herself and reminding her how easily V forgave her in the past. They officially forgave each other while singing "You Shine." It was cheesy, but also kind of great. The two of them also seemed to smooth things over with Chuck, whose "pariahship" was officially rescinded by Ronnie.
Alice and her family: Alice joined the musical too, playing Carrie's mom in a bid to get closer to her daughter. After a moving performance of "Stay Here Instead," mama Cooper let her guard down and admitted she's "driven everyone away." They worked through their issues and, it seems, so did Alice and Hal Cooper. She told him that Chik wasn't his son, something he always suspected, though his real dad (it's FP, right?) remains a mystery. Hal was in the audience for the show and, despite being kicked out of the house, Chik showed to support her too. The only one Alice is on the outs with: FP, who barely talked to her after they possibly hooked up and witnessed her rekindling things with her husband. Come on, we want #Falice!
Josie/Cheryl: Cheryl copped to being batshit crazy with Josie (Ashleigh Murray) in the past, after the Pussycat learned Blossom was the one who sent her creepy pencil drawings and a pig heart. "I know everything I did was legit crazy, but I was wrestling with some dark, Carrie White-like demons and I'm so, so sorry," she told her. Apology accepted, before they sand a lovely duet of "Unsuspecting Hearts."
Fred/Archie: Man, did we hate seeing Archie and Fred Andrews (Luke Perry) not communicating with each other, something that finally came to an end tonight. After Hiram (Mark Consuelos) tried to drive a wedge between father and son by revealing he gifted Archie a car (dick move), Archie stood up to him. "That is a battle you will lose, every time," Arch said, giving back the keys. He then decided to fix an old jalopy with his father instead.
Choni fans got one great moment between Cheryl and Toni (Vanessa Morgan), who urged her ginger girlfriend to "show your mother who's in charge." This led to one of the best quotes of the night from Cheryl: "I don't know if I can anymore, I'm not the same person who burned down Thornhill and cut off her oxygen."
While she was booted from the show, that didn't stop Cheryl from dousing herself in blood for an incredibly dramatic showdown with her mother at their home.
"Do you whose blood this is mommy? This is Jason's blood, this is daddy's blood, the next blood to be spilled will be yours," she said. "You tried to kill Nana Rose and then you shipped me off to a ghoulish nunnery. But your depraved gambits are finished. If you so much as pluck one hair from Nana Rose's head, I'll end you. I burned one house down, I'll happily burn another. I want to be emancipated. I want Thistlehosue all to myself. And my Nana. Start packing mommy. You and uncle Claudius are pig people and should live amongst the pigs."