After days and days and days of drinking, Snooki threw up. Once. She was shocked -- as was Jenni "JWoww" Farley -- because "Nicole never throws up." They instantly decided she might be pregnant and ran out to get a pregnancy test. The others went to the bar.
Once Nicole realized she was simply getting "old" and couldn't "hang" like she used to, she and Jenni met back up with the rest of the group, which included Angelina Pivarnick's friend, Lindsay, aka "Jewish Barbie." By this point, Lindsay had flirted with Pauly D, Vinny Guadagnino and Ronnie -- and when we say flirting, we mean she twerked for them and took turns saying whose bed she'd be sleeping in that night.
All the guys were salivating over Lindsay, so we were just as curious as they were to see who'd she end up going home with. Ronnie -- who had been fighting with baby mama Jen Harley via text all night -- ended up being the chosen one.
Nicole suggested to the camera that Ron "pass her off to Pauly or Vinny 'cause they're single," but Ronnie was determined to f--k up his life all over again. If you recall the group's trip to Miami, Ronnie got himself in trouble with a then-pregnant Jen for bringing home a random girl from the club. He took her on a "tour" of the house, which ended with the two of them half-naked in the hot tub.
In the cab ride from the bar back to their house, Ron decided to bring up to Lindsay that they had a hot tub at their place. (At least he's consistent?) Once they got there, the girls and guys kind of separated. Upstairs, the girls played a game of "F--k, Marry, Kill," where Lindsay revealed she was interested in banging Ronnie.
Meanwhile, the guys were downstairs busting Ronnie's chops about the whole ordeal. They were 100 percent joking, but when they realized Ronnie was actually considering hooking up with "Jewish Barbie," they tried pumping the brakes -- but it was too late.
Ron found Lindsay and suggested they go for a swim. She agreed. While she was putting on her bathing suit, he looked at one of the camera people and whispered, "I think I should go to bed," then laughed hysterically because he knew damn well he wasn't going to bed.
"Women in hot tubs are Ronnie's Kryptonite, okay?" Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino told the camera. "When Jewish Barbie comes out in her bathing suit, he will be left powerless."
"What the f--k is he doing?!" Pauly yelled from the window as he and the group watched Ron take his shirt off and get into the hot tub with Lindsay. "How f--king dumb can you be?! [Jen's] gonna drag him through another car ride."
While everyone was inside talking about how stupid Ronnie was being, Harley texted Jenni because she couldn't get ahold of Ron. JWoww and Nicole lost their minds.
Ronnie and Lindsay then got out of the water and went upstairs. "Am I staying here?" she asked. "You can sleep in my bed," he replied.
And that's how Ronnie Ortiz-Magro died.
"Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on MTV.