Let's just say Angelina Pivarnick is to Vinny Guadagnino what Tito's vodka is to Nicole Polizzi.
At the top of Thursday's episode, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and Jenni "JWoww" Farley stopped by to see a very pregnant Deena Cortese, who had a scare and was ordered to be on bed rest until her next checkup. "Deener" teared up as she recounted the "scariest moment" of her life, when she started bleeding randomly midway through her pregnancy. Even though she was crying, Deena assured Nicole and Jenni that both she and the baby were fine. Unfortunately, Deena said she wouldn't be able to join the cast for their next rendezvous -- finding a new Shore House to crash in for a while -- which made Snooks very sad.
"I totally get it because I was pregnant once," she told the camera. (Twice, Nicole. You were pregnant twice.)
Then it was Deena and Jenni's turn to fill Nicole in on everything that went down in AC, including Ronnie Ortiz-Magro's blowup with Jen over absolutely nothing, and the weird Staten Island love triangle that formed among Vinny Guadagnino, Angelina Pivarnick and Angelina's fiancé, Chris.
In a later scene, Angelina was telling Chris about her upcoming stay in the new Shore House when Vinny came up in conversation. At first, Chris was chill about it -- like he has been this whole time -- but eventually, he snapped.
"When you were out having your guys' day, did you guys talk about anything serious?" Angelina asked.
"Vinny was saying something like, 'You seem like a normal guy, so what are you gonna marry Angelina for?'" Chris replied.
"Why's he asking you that?" Angelina asked before answering her own question. "Because he secretly loves me. And you know what? I don't blame him for loving me because he should love me."
"How do we keep coming back to the same topic?" Chris shot back. "Maybe you're in love with him."
"Chris, shut up," Angelina replied. "Ew! Gross! Hell no. You're an ass."
Who thought it was a good idea to leave Ronnie and Snooki at home by themselves? 😅 The spiral squad is back in action this JERZDAY at 8/7c on an all new episode of #JSFamilyVacation! 🍹 pic.twitter.com/vmZUPN0siy— Jersey Shore (@JerseyShore) October 30, 2018
Fast-forward to the gorgeous mansion Nicole managed to find on Craigslist for the group to crash in during their never-ending vacation. It was seriously perfect -- except it was nowhere near the beach.
TooFab asks that you take a moment to appreciate history repeating itself.
Ronnie was the first one to get to the house. He met up with Nicole, and the two got shwasted. (They don't call themselves the Spiral Squad for nothing!) During a nice dinner, Nicole tried to have an adult conversation with him about his estranged baby mama, but Ron said nothing we haven't all heard a million times, so we'll spare you.
From there, they went to a nightclub. Nicole was dancing up a storm and urged Angelina -- the next to arrive -- to meet them at the club without stopping at the house first. So in walks Angelina with all 27 (not really) of her suit cases. AT A CLUB. We can't.
The next day, when the whole gang was finally reunited, it took about four seconds for Angelina and Vinny to be bickering like the old, non-married, non-couple that they are. Angelina called him out for being a boring lay way back in the day. Vinny then announced he'd happily bang Angelina and let Chris watch.
Later that night, the group went out for their first family dinner together since being in the new house. Within minutes, Nicole was shitfaced and chanting, "C'mon, girls!" It was beautiful.
"Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on MTV.
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