As we've seen in recent weeks, Angelina clearly has a thing for Vinny, and until Thursday's episode, it seemed like it was reciprocated. But Vinny was insanely turned off when the group went out for drinks and Angelina -- who's engaged -- would not leave him alone. She spent the entire night taunting him and touching him, at one point even grabbing his junk. He looked straight into the camera with his eyes bulging out of his head. It was a definite cry for help.
It was obvious Vinny was growing tired of the banter -- obvious to everyone except Angelina. At first, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and Jenni "JWoww" Farley were living for all the cringe-worthy interactions -- even urging Angelina to "hate f--k Vinny again" -- but once they saw the banter was not being reciprocated and that Vinny was over it, they backed off.
Pauly D -- who had been busy DJing all over the country -- managed to make it in time to eat with the gang for Sunday Family Dinner. Once everyone was seated Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino said to Pauly, "Angeliners has something to tell you."
Sighing, Angelina said, "Are you guys kidding me?" before Snooki blurted out, "Angelina grabbed Vinny's dick!"
"You grabbed his penis?!" Pauly shouted. "Because that's my penis. I'm not here for one day, and she touched his dick?! What is the deal?!" (ICYMI: Pauly and Vinny wed in Vegas earlier in the season.)
"Well, he knows," Angelina said, sassily looking at Vin.
"I know what?" Vinny pressed her.
"You're obsessed with me," she replied. Ronnie nearly choked. "You literally love me. Just admit it to everybody here that you're obsessed with me. You should just confess your love in front of everybody."
Vinny tried to remain calm, but he was pissed. He called her "delusional" and told her to "shut up" multiple times, but Angelina persisted.
"You want a woman like your mom. That's what you want," she said. "That's why you love me so much, because I remind you of your mother."
"How dare you? How dare you?" Vinny later vented to the camera. "I don't care if Angelina compared herself to Kim Kardashian. I don't care if you compare yourself to f--king Beyonce. Do not ever compare yourself to my mother."
"All I begged you to do is stop talking to me," Vinny said to Angelina. "You f--king bring up my name every second."
But Angelina kept interrupting. "You're obsessed with me. You love me. You literally love me. You wanna marry me. You literally wanna marry me," she said. Vinny eventually snapped. "COME AT ME, BRO!" he shouted. The screaming match continued until Mike got up and asked about dessert.
In one corner, we have the Keto Guido 🍖 taking on The Dirty Little Hamster 🐹 in the biggest 💥 match 💥 of the season 💥
Earlier in the episode, Mike woke Jenni up early in the morning to see if she still wanted to come with him to hear him speak about his journey to sobriety. The only issue was that Mike would be speaking at his old rehab facility, and Jenni -- ironically -- was still drunk from the night before.
But she grabbed some Gatorade and put on her finest sweats to be by her friend's side. On the way there, Mike told Jenni a story that made her "love Laurens more and more."
"There was one time where I was attempting to get sober," Mike explained. "I had a doctor and a nurse at my house. They were detoxing me, and after I think four or five days, I had the 'f--k its,' they call it, where you're like, 'F--k it, I don't want this anymore. I wanna go party. I wanna feel better.' So I jumped in my car, and Lauren jumped in her vehicle. I was trying to get away from her, so there was a bit of speeding going on, a little bit of a car chase. Eventually, a cop pulled up beside me, and I actually said to the cop that there's a crazy fan following me."
"He didn't entertain it. He was just like, 'Mike, you're crazy,'" he continued. "But I actually said that [about] my girlfriend, who's behind me trying to help me. That's a good story for people to hear that because that was my crazy times. I could not escape her. She was determined. I turned around and went home and went through the detox process."
Mike and Lauren got married last "Jerzday," and he told TooFab the two were "working on" bringing us some guido babies.
"Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on MTV.