6 'Brutally Honest' Bombshells from Mel B's Memoir: Threesomes, Suicide Attempt, Drug Abuse and More
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Spice Girls: Then & Now

The "America's Got Talent" judge opens up about her marriages including the love of her life, Eddie Murphy, and the alleged abuses she endured with Stephen Belafonte.

As advertised, Mel B is being "Brutally Honest" in her new book, talking about everything from drugs to mental health and, of course, her love life.

The former and future (and forever) Spice Girl has not been shy in recent years talking about the ups and downs of her life, including allegations of abuse at the hands of her ex-husband and former manager Stephen Belafonte. He has denied all of the allegations.

Mel also opened up more than she ever has about the man she describes as the great love of her life, Eddie Murphy. The couple dated briefly before Mel's marriage to Belafonte and have one child together, Mel's middle child, Angel.

But it's not just relationships that make up the bulk of "Brutally Honest." The "America's Got Talent" judge also wrote candidly about her issues with drug abuse, depression and the suicide attempt that nearly took her life in 2014.

It's certainly been a tumultuous ride for the girl once dubbed Scary Spice, but the journey has come full circle and reunited Mel B with her girls and the joy she once knew. The Spice Girls, minus Victoria Beckham, are set to kick off a stadium tour in the UK in the summer of 2019.

In the meantime, check out the six biggest bombshells from "Brutally Honest," available Tuesday, below:

Geri's Departure

According to Mel, Geri Halliwell left the Spice Girls during their European tour due to her continuing struggles with an eating disorder. And while Mel said she didn't fully grasp it then, she definitely gets it now.

"She was depressed, she was anxious, and she was keeping it all secret -- and the pressure was too much," Mel wrote. "She retreated and cut herself off."

It wasn't helped by management coming down on the Girls for their weight, either. According to the book, both Mel C and Victoria Beckham were also told to "f--king lose a few f--king pounds" and "watch what you're f--king eating."

She wrote that the group was in shock while being berated, which just "shows how easily girls can be put down and deliberately made to feel insecure."

Eddie Murphy

"I never felt so loved," Mel wrote of her relationship with comedian Eddie Murphy. She described their relationship as almost overwhelming in how much she felt for him all at once. "I felt I had known this man all my life and that I was staring at my destiny in his face."

"What had started out as a thunderbolts in his kitchen turned into the most beautiful, nurturing and loving relationship of my life," she wrote. And yet, after the birth of their daughter, Angel, Mel said she went into "shutdown" and pushed Eddie out of her life for a few days to figure things out.

It was shortly after this that the comedian revealed their relationship status and even said he wasn't sure the baby was his, which Mel said "was like a hammer blow to my heart."

'It was completely out of character for him to talk about his private life, and it was even more out of character for him to say something so damning and nasty about someone he loved," Mel wrote. "The question 'Why?' has haunted me for more than a decade."

It was shortly after this relationship that she married her manager Stephen Balafonte, whom she would remain with for a decade.

Threesomes

Despite claiming in her 2017 divorce to Stephen Belafonte that he forced threesomes in their relationship, "Brutally Honest" breaks down how it was Mel who invited a third party into their bedroom during their marriage.

Belafonte insisted that only women were allowed to join them, but Mel was just fine with that. "I've always found women's bodies so much more beautiful than men's bodies," she wrote.

She admitted to having enjoyed relationships with men and women and is proud of her sexualitiy and love of sex. "I don't think it's shameful to like sex," she wrote. " I don't think it's shameful to experiment -- as long as it is all consensual."

She further says she was in "a beautiful, loving, five-year relationship with a woman" prior to dating Eddie Murphy, but the memoir does not go into details about that because "she was extremely private and I will always respect that."

Cocaine

Mel admitted that she reached a point in her life during filming of "The X Factor," and while married to Belafonte, that she was "probably taking five or six lines" of cocaine a day.

While it didn't start that way, she did kick off her day with "a line of that white powder" when she got up. As the weeks of filming progressed, though, she said she found herself doing it more and more to stave off depression.

"I didn't want all the crap in my life to get in the way of the job I wanted to do, and knew, I was doing really well," she wrote. "So, as insane as it may sound, my quick fix answer was cocaine."

Suicide

Describing it as the "saddest moment of my life," Mel B wasn't referring to her suicide attempt while married to Stephen Belafonte, but rather the aftermath when she woke in the hospital to see her teenage daughter, Pheonix, looking down at her.

"It's like a knife through my heart," she wrote of the moment. "It will always live with me. All I ever want is for her to know how sorry I am, how lost I was and how I will never, ever abandon her again."

According to Mel, she was feeling overwhelmed and emotionally battered in her personal life, while putting on a "sham" for the public. "Behind the glitter of fame, I felt emotionally battered, estranged from my family. I felt ugly and detested by the very man who once promised to love and protect me, my husband and manager, Stephen."

And so she opted to try and kill herself by overdosing on 200 aspirin shortly before the 2014 "X Factor" finals in London. She later said that she returned to work in time for the finals, against doctors' orders.

Divorce Regrets

It was shortly after her suicide attempt that Mel first tried to leave her husband, but a psychiatrist warned her that Stephen could have her children taken from her due to her overdose suicide attempt.

And so instead, she agreed to drop domestic violence charges against him in exchange for him not showing 65 sex teps he'd made in open court, thus putting them into the public domain. "Looking back now, that was a deal I regret," Mel admitted in her book.

According to Mel, she doesn't remember many of the experiences documented on Belafonte's tapes. "I am frightened when I see myself in some of these videos. I have seen myself used sexually in a way that I did not enjoy or want."

She described him as controlling in almost every way, checking up on her constantly and even manipulating her sense of self-worth. "It was up to [Stephen] whether I was a piece of filth that day or a goddess or a whore," she wrote.

Belafonte has maintained his innocence in regards to Mel's allegations of abuse, calling them "outrageous and unfounded."

He further claimed that "this entire charade was nothing more than a smear campaign intended to cover up Ms. Brown's own conduct during the marriage in light of her current involvement with a family television show, and in an effort to unfairly gain leverage both financially and with respect to custody of the children."

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