"She could end me," he says of the momager.
At least that's what the "Your Body Is a Wonderland" crooner told good pal Andy Cohen on his SiriusXM radio show, "Radio Andy," Tuesday morning.
Back in December, a source told E! News that the unlikely couple "connected" while John was waiting for his car at valet outside of the GQ Men of the Year party but that they didn't make "any scheduled plans to see each other." Another source told Us Weekly that Mayer "seemed very into her" and that he told the "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" star that crossing paths with her was "sweet serendipity," adding that they should "meet up again soon."
But according to the singer, "the story about what actually happened is better." While he told Andy the two did in fact meet outside the GQ Men of the Year party, he says he never said it was "sweet serendipity" running into her.
"I would never say that!" Mayer said. "But if you're getting paid to write the story and you listen to every John Mayer song and say, 'What's the next thing he might say based on all the lyrics?' it might be, 'It was sweet serendipity running into you.' But I didn't say that because that's hyper-corny."
Mayer explained he had actually bumped into and started chatting with rock band The Scorpions prior to Kourtney's arrival out by valet.
"I ran into the bass player from The Scorpions, and his name was Klaus or something. I don't think it was Klaus, but it was close," John explained. "I said, 'Klaus, it was sweet serendipity running into you.'"
"He started throwing me in a video, and I was hamming it up because I love The Scorpions," he continued. "And then Kourtney Kardashian walks up. I said, 'Kourtney, walk away. This is the bass player from The Scorpions, and he's going to try to get you in his video 'cause he was already like, 'Hey Kourtney, come be in my video.'"
So the way Mayer sees it, all he did was "save Kourtney Kardashian from being in a video with the bass player from The Scorpions." He called that a "far better story than 'sweet serendipity'" but said the rumor itself was "diabolical and genius."
John made sure to note that just because he didn't hook up with Kourt doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy the famous family.
"Look, I actually like the Kardashians," he told Andy. "If you break it down to your interactions with them, they're very nice people. So any objection to them is more philosophical, and I really don't have a philosophical objection to people that I don't get on with every day."
That's when Cohen revealed that his buddy may actually have eyes for another member of the Kardashian clan.
"You and I were at Craig's in L.A., and we ran into Kris Jenner, and I felt sparks between you two," he divulged.
Mayer instantly praised the momager, calling her "the Yoda of Hollywood serotonin."
"She has a good grasp on how to make your serotonin just burst in your brain," he said. "I was sitting next to her, and I was like, 'You are the ground zero of Hollywood bliss.'"
Despite being slightly swoon, though, John Mayer -- like most people -- is still "a little afraid of her."
"I don't want to be noticed by Kris Jenner too much," he said cautiously. "I want a nice base level of respect, but I don't want to be too far on her radar. She could end me."
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