"No business records survived which specifically explain the origins or inspiration for the name Triscuit," Nabisco allegedly told him. "But we do know the name was chosen as a fun derivation of the word 'biscuit'. The 'TRI' does not mean 3."
"How... how do they know what it DOESN'T mean, but NOT know what it DOES mean? HOW??" Boggs asked Twitter.
"Also, 'No business records survived'? What the HELL happened at the Triscuit factory? Did the building explode? Did someone run out of the doors and yell 'It doesn't mean THREE!' right before perishing in a giant blaze?"
After some more internet sleuthing, he discovered an ancient advertisement for the intriguing edible from the early 1900s, which boasted that it was "baked using electricity" -- and he was suddenly struck by a lightning bolt of his own.
"They were 'the only food on the market prepared by this 1903 process'," he wrote. "Look at the lightning bolts! And that's when it clicked -- Elec-TRI-city Biscuit."
"TRISCUIT MEANS 'ELECTRICITY BISCUIT'."
And 14 hours later, it was confirmed by none other than the official Triscuit account.
"We had to go all the way up the ladder but we CAN confirm," it tweeted Thursday morning -- with a lightning bolt emoji.