"I can't believe it's been a year already since the toughest day of my life occurred"
Nick Cannon is remembering the tragic passing of his newborn son, Zen.
The 42-year-old took to Instagram to honor the short life of his 5-month-old son with Alyssa Scott one year after his death. Back in December 2021, Cannon announced that Zen had died after losing a battle with brain cancer.
Now on the anniversary of his tragic passing, the "Masked Singer" host is paying tribute to his memory. "Physically, I'm definitely on the mend but Mentally and Spiritually I'm broken," he captioned a black and white photo of himself holding the newborn. "Been tossing and turning all night, and as much as I know I need rest, last night I couldn't sleep at all. I can't believe it's been a year already since the toughest day of my life occurred. Such a painful anniversary."
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He said that losing a child has been the "heaviest, most dark and depressive" experience and that he would "never get over" the unimaginable loss.
"A mixture of guilt, pain, and sorrow is what I suppress daily. I am far from perfect and often fall short and make decisions in my life that many question, but anyone who knows me knows my heart," Cannon explained.
He noted, "I love hard, I love big and I love with my entire Heart and Soul and I just wish my Little Man could've felt more of that love while he was here on Earth."
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View StoryCannon went on to reference his recent pneumonia hospitalization. "I know a few days ago I wrote a post from my hospital bed saying I will be okay and I just needed rest so don't waste your prayers on me but I can definitely use those prayers right now”
He concluded, “Continue to Peacefully Rest My Son, Zen Scott Cannon. We Love you."
Back in November, Cannon revealed he was expecting his second child with Scott, marking his twelfth.
Scott shared the exciting news by posting multiple photos from a maternity shoot to Instagram that featured her and Cannon, 42, posing nude in a bathtub. In the first post, "The Masked Singer" host can be seen cradling Scott's bare baby bump with his left hand as the model covers her chest with her hands. The second shot featured Cannon sweetly kissing Scott's growing belly.
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View StoryLess than two weeks after the baby announcement, Nick welcomed his eleventh child with Abby De La Rosa. He and De La Rosa are already parents to 16-month-old twin sons Zion and Zillion.
Meanwhile, in late September, Cannon welcomed his tenth child -- a son named Rise -- with ex-girlfriend Brittany Bell, with whom he also shares 5-year-old son Golden and daughter Powerful, almost two.
Rise was born just two weeks after the actor announced he became a father of nine in mid-September, welcoming a baby girl named Onyx with LaNisha Cole.
He also shares 11-year-old twins Monroe and Moroccan with ex-wife Mariah Carey. Cannon's eighth child, son Legendary, with whom he shares with model Bre Tiesi, was born in July.