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The comedian filmed a semi-nude PSA from her bed, urging men to go under the knife
Chelsea Handler says women have had enough with shouldering the burden of birth control.
Delivering the public service announcement topless from her bed, the comedian pretended to be caught giving herself an impromptu breast exam: "Oh hello, it's me, Chesty Handlerberg. You caught me giving myself a mammogram."
"All good, you two?" she then said to her breasts.
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"As a women with natural breasts — not that that has anything to do with this — it is time to explore vasectomies. Since the beginning of time, women have been ducking and diving and dodging pregnancy face first or pikachu first and, frankly, they're exhausted," Handler explained.
"We've had to listen to men say things like, 'Girl, but using a condom doesn't feel so good' or 'can't you just take birth control?' Or 'oops, I forgot to pull out.' Enough, you little horny little pigs in blankets," she scolded.
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View Story"Do you know how painful it is to get an IUD placed? It feels like a mouse trap in your uterus. And sometimes those things don't even catch all the mice."
"And birth control? You think I want to be an adult woman with acne?" Handler continued. "Or have mood swings? Or get a period so heavy it feels like a hoover dam just broke? I don't."
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View Story"Everybody already hates women enough, I don't need my insides to join in on the fun," she said. "Women are tired of making concessions for men — especially in the bedroom."
"We have already been through enough letting you wear socks while you penetrate us," Handler concluded. "So, man up, men, and if you can't do that, enjoy the company of your hand."
The video ended with the standup comic impersonating a late-night infomercial: "Vasectomies: One snip and that's it."
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