The new grandmother's daughter-in-law slammed her "BS playing the victim tears" in a rage filled social media post
A new mom has taken to the internet for advice after a dispute with her in-laws over a no-kissing boundary.
The story, posted to an anonymous forum, centered on the highly relatable topic of fighting with one's in-laws -- but it's the details that seemed to inspire many a hardened Redditor to weigh in thoughtfully on the issue.
While OP (a.k.a. the "original poster") asked if she was in fact in the wrong -- the forum she posted to was in the AITA (Am I The A--hole) community after all -- she pretty much only got support.
Read on to see how the whole thing played out.
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"My mother in law and father in law came to visit," OP wrote, kicking off the post. "We had already told everyone NO KISSING and hand her back if she gets very fussy. Very simple rules if you ask me."
However, the new grandmother "then proceeded to kiss her head and both of them gave snarky comments when again told not to do so."
No kissing means no kissing...
"I talked with my husband and we went back over our boundaries over the phone with them which his mom cried the entire call saying she didn't recall doing so," the woman explained. "BS playing the victim tears if you ask me but still we said that we have these boundaries in place and expect them to be followed."
"I still haven't brought up another visit as I just want a break from them now."
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Pretty much everyone agreed with OP on the issue.
One Redditor observed: "NTA [Not The A--hole], and it will just get worse if you don't stick to boundaries now."
To which OP replied: "This is what I explained to my husband. It took so much for him to actually stand up to his parents in this way. It was frustrating and straining on our marriage for us to have this discussion. He finally understood where I was coming from and also agrees with the rules so thankfully we're on the same page now."
She went on to say elsewhere, in her own defense, and rather sarcastically, "what a world we live in where kids stand up to their parents and stand their ground."
You don’t have to put your mouth on someone to have a relationship with them. If I give an inch everyone will take a mile.
OP then added: "I'm not a grandparent but I do have nieces and nephews and friends with children. Never have I ever felt the need to go around their boundaries or argue what they set in place! I'll still be this way when my daughter grows and has kids of her own if she chooses!! I'd rather respect my grown adult kids than treat them like they're still babies. My daughter will learn she can say no to anyone including her parents!"
When someone else noted the dangers of whooping cough in early infancy, she replied: "My exact feelings!"
"You don't have to put your mouth on someone to have a relationship with them. If I give an inch everyone will take a mile. Proven so by me blatantly saying NO to kissing of any kind and they still did it," OP told another commenter.
As you might have guessed, almost all of her replies were to the naysayers -- such as this one: "YTA, it sounds like your husband disagrees. You handle your parents and he handles his. You aren't allowed to stop his parents, he can if he so wishes."
In response, OP wrote: "He agreed and before we had our baby we sat down and discussed these rules. The part he struggled with was standing his ground against his parents because he's not confrontational and never had done it before. If you continue to let your parents treat you like a child you'll never be an actual adult in their eyes."
This sounds like you browbeat him into your way of thinking.
To which the same commenter replied: "This sounds like you browbeat him into your way of thinking. Making you even a bigger AH."
OP was not having it and said: "Browbeat him? Wow yeah cause I stood here and yelled at him to do this. No we talked, discussed and agreed on things like adults. There's many other things that I didn't want at first that he did that we have since moved past. It's part of being in a relationship. Communication and coming to an agreement on things."
When someone else inquired if the no kissing rule applied to the top of the baby's head, she said "No kissing means no kissing to me not let me figure out a way around what you're saying."
However, while a lot the negative comments (and OP's replies) are cited above, the majority were on the new mom's side. Many advised her to stick to her boundaries while others also suggested that the grandparents and anyone else seeing the baby verify that they recently had the whooping cough vaccine.
What do you think?