Jake Gyllenhaal SNL Sketches Ranked: Update Joke Swap, Trump on Trial, NYPD Punching and More

If this guy doesn't become a five-timer in the next few years, there's something wrong with this world! You could not have asked for a stronger, more committed and diversely talented individual to host the final episode before this fall's big 50th season extravaganza.

We mention the upcoming 5-0 because Jake did, too, right away in his Opening Monologue. He knew everyone's mind was already on the future, so he fully leaned into it with a refreshing, unexpected, and delightful musical number, only bettered later by a tribute to the show's "Beautiful Boys."

Musical guest Sabrina Carpenter made a surprise sketch appearance, while Jon Hamm (another missed Five-Timers opportunity as he's only hosted three times, as well) made another of his frequent surprise cameos with a very funny -- and on brand -- appearance late in the night.

The end result was one of the most consistently funny episodes of the season, with only one sketch falling almost completely flat. The good news is that once we get that out of the way, it's all uphill from there (so to speak -- you'll see!) as the night just went from one hit straight into the next!

The night was so strong, we can't even say the traditional Weekend Update "joke swap" was the biggest highlight of the night, though it was as delightfully twisted and cruel as ever … and might have even kicked off a new summer feud!

As usual, we're ranking all the sketches from worst to first, including the Monologue, Cold Open, "Weekend Update" and any sketches that were cut for time but made their way online. We'll skip the musical guests, because they're not usually funny -- unless Ashlee Simpson shows up. We wrap up with a look at the cast-member who had the strongest week.

Well, we kind of get what they were going for here, but it didn't really work at all. Mikey Day and Chloe Fineman were solid enough as a couple questioning the long-distance relationship thing, but we just weren't feeling Jake Gyllenhaal's unhinged cyclist traveling very, very, very, very, very, very slowly up the hill with a whole slew of problems of his own. Honestly, the sketch still wouldn't have worked, but it would have been better had they stopped after the first crap, as things only went downhill (natch) from there.

James Austin Johnson got to kick off the final "LFNY" of the season after another rambling Trump appearance, this time teasing possible VP nominees outside the courthouse of his hush money trial. As always, Johnson is great in this characterization, though he wasn't quite as off-the-wall as we've seen him before with some of his comments. Aside from some random asides, he was practically coherent! Heidi Gardner had a fun cameo as Kristi Noem with a stuffed dog, but none of it was enough to make this anything but a seemingly required political cold open, even when there wasn't anything in particular to talk about. It was just … okay.

Not sure if it was a time thing, but this sketch just kind of petered out at the end. Technically, it was over, but it definitely left us feeling like "that's all?" for the final sketch of the night and season. James Austin Johnson brought a fresh character to the fore and we definitely enjoyed his unexpected take on a stone-cold killer, just as Bowen kept adding to the scene with his drink-spilling reactions as a shouting waiter. This was definitely a James showcase piece and he delivered, as did Sarah Sherman, who's grown into a truly versatile and talented sketch performer in addition to her own signature weird humor. Both of them are poised to become huge stars as their SNL careers surely continue.

The Season 50 celebrations kicked off a little early with a very funny diatribe by Jake about how he could have held out one episode and hosted that premiere, but he's here instead. This kicked off a charming "End of the Road" parody to celebrate the conclusion of both this season, and all that has come before what is already perhaps the most-anticipated season of SNL ever. Jake clearly was hyped to be in the house for this one, with his energy already infecting Ego Nwodim, Kenan Thompson, Punkie Johnson, and Devon Walker as his fellow Boyz II Men in this one.

After Steve Buscemi was punched on the streets of New York, SNL took on the "that guy" schtick by offering up NYPD protections for character actors and actresses. We'd have laughed a little harder if any of them had showed up, but we did appreciate a surprise appearance by Jon Hamm, concerned that his beautiful kisser could be in danger -- even if he's no Brad Pitt, Heidi Gardner! Heidi struggled to keep it together as Andrew Dismukes and Jon really laid into her over this Brad comment one after the other. It turned out to be the sharpest laugh of the whole sketch, which was more clever and fun than laugh-out-loud funny.

While it's not clear this is a direct response to the recent criticism of the show not having attractive women in the cast (even though it totally is), this was nonetheless a perfect response to it by shining a comedic spotlight on its "beautiful boys" after quickly ushering off their beautiful female counterparts. The male cast members were definitely hamming it up as Jake presented them in his on-stage revue, marveling how boys can just get out of bed and they're already beautiful. We'd have liked a little more from Chloe Fineman, Ego Nwodim and Sarah Sherman as Jake's beautiful girls, who have to tuck and pull and stuff every bit of themselves to achieve beauty standards as the contrast -- and their frustration -- was every bit as funny as the boys' performance.

Michael Che got a big response with his "Waffle House of Representatives dig, without even adding AOC into the mix, while he and Colin Jost had lots of content about this summer's proposed debates between presumed presidential candidates Trump and Biden. Every joke here landed stronger than anything said in the Cold Open -- with so much political humor in "Update," why did SNL decide years back that it needed timely political cold opens as often as possible?

While they could have done more with the cultural changes that have happened since 2007 and 2011, we still enjoyed how much fun Kenan Thompson and Mercello Hernández were having as two cicadas -- one from each of this summer's major broods. They were stoked for a season of mating, scaring children, being extremely loud and probably dying in some horrific way. The guys were clearly having a blast with their impressive (and somehow disturbing) costumes, and making Colin as uncomfortable as possible.

Che promised not to tell a joke on air that got a tepid response, which is becoming a recurring gag on WU. It's as much about his reaction to the audience reaction after each joke as it is about the jokes themselves. The looser format with the guys really works with these two, as does our favorite recurring segment--

Following up an activist with a rabbi, Che and Jost traded jokes as part of their ongoing tradition, but we have to say the overall package was a huge step down from years past. The rabbi bit was too similar to last year's activist, so she fell kind of flat, while most of the jokes weren't nearly as hard-hitting. We did appreciate Jost having to read a "free Weinstein" joke, while he actually got the better of Che twice: once with his joke about math students and sexting, and the other trying to set up a new summer feud with Kendrick Lamar.

Just about everyone in the cast got in on this one that featured Jake calling Southwest Airlines to ultimately try and cancel his call. Things go about as well as one might expect with him getting transferred from one type of incompetent to the next. Bonus points to whoever wrote the copy for the hold announcements as they really added a sense of uncertainty that anyone at Southwest knows anything about running an airline. The whole sketch kept moving, barely giving us time to breathe, with each new face offering a delightful new interpretation of customer service. Is that even a thing anymore?

A great commercial parody highlighting the definitely-not horrific working conditions and product quality in China that explain how these items come to America so cheaply. The peppy announcer counterbalanceded by the increasingly concerned reactions of ad models Jake, Ego Nwodim, Marcello Hernández, and Chloe Fineman as more and more details about what's not going on are revealed was perfectly layered. All the little details along the way and the final realization only enhanced the truth-through-comedy bomb of the whole thing.

Jake was incredible in this seemingly down-to-earth sketch about a young man asking to marry his daughter after meeting her parents for the first time. It slowly devolved into chaos over sneaking a cookie before dinner with a sharply written escalation, some great sight gags, and incredible performances from Andrew Dismukes and Jake, who was menacing and sincere in all the right ways. This could have fallen flat in the hands of less capable performers, but here it was nigh masterful.

Well, we didn't see any of that coming. What started off as a fairly typical installment of Scooby-Doo! -- complete with Sabrina Carpenter as Daphne -- devolved into straight-up horror in the most unexpected way. As he'd been doing all night, Jake really poured himself fully into these characters, with his Fred perhaps having the most surprising developments of the whole skit. Definitely not one for the kiddos, we'd still watch this lineup in a live-action Scooby film. Sarah Sherman was perfect as Velma while Mikey Day has Shaggy's voice nailed. Every element of this left us shocked and laughing in the best way.

We have to give props to the cast this season because there isn't a single person who didn't find their voice on the show. Chloe Troast is the greenest, but even she's settling in nicely with her musical chops and solid sketch performances.

Last season's newcomers are also finding their way, with perhaps Devon Walker the most behind others. His Tim Scott impression seems to be giving him confidence, helping him find his voice. Molly Kearny hasn't had a breakout role yet, but she's becoming a reliable utility player, much like Punkie Johnson has been.

In their third seasons. Sarah Sherman and James Austin Johnson are really starting to make a notable impact on the show, growing into solid and diverse performers. Their unique comedic styles are a breath of fresh air and they're learning to play well with others.

As for this week, we have to give props to Mikey Day, Kenan Thompson, Andrew Dismukes, and Heidi Gardner for carrying much of the load tonight opposite a very capable leading man in Jake Gyllenhaal. But it was the night's final sketch that cemented our performer of the week.

James is always solid as President Trump, but tonight showcased what else he has to offer aside from his great impressions. He is delightfully dorky and awkward, as exemplified in the "Beautiful Boys" sketch, and he can make the most of bit roles in Scooby-Doo and Southwest.

That final turn, though, as Snake Eyes, really showed us just how much he brings to this cast. James is in a comedic lane all his own and he's really stepping into it. After hiding behind impressions his first two seasons, this year sees him stepping into his own as a sketch leader and confident, reliable star of the cast.

The longest-tenured veterans (Kenan, Heidi, Mikey, and Ego Nwodim) are more than likely going to stick around for next year's big 5-0, but we can already see the future of the show is in good hands on the screen with those coming up behind them like Bowen Yang, Chloe Fineman, Andrew, Punkie and all these fresh voices of comedy future.

Saturday Night Live returns this fall for its epic 50th anniversary season.