"The ambition is: how do I not hate myself, my job, my life, and do this? Because right now, it’s not working. I’m just scrambling to try to feel healthy," the 26-year-old singer said.
Chappell Roan is no longer dancing unnoticed at the "Pink Pony Club", and it sounds like she misses it.
The pop star -- who recently catapulted to stardom -- opened up to The Face about an intense incident that occurred while arriving at the airport and why she "kind of" hopes she doesn't win a Grammy Award next year.
Quitting Fame
"I get out of the car, it's 5:30 in the morning, and there's two guys waiting with a bunch of posters and s--t for me to sign. I know they're not fans. I said no. I was like, ​'I don't sign anything at the airport, I'm sorry,'" she recalled to The Face for her cover piece.
However, it did not stop there.
"[One of them] follows me to the TSA line, starts yelling at me and everyone just turns and looks. He's like, ​"You should really humble yourself. Do you know where you are right now? Don't forget where you came from,'" the Missouri native said before admitting that she told herself she would "quit" the industry it "this ever gets dangerous".
She then reassured readers and fans that "it's dangerous now, and I'm still going. But that part is not what I signed up for."
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View StoryThe 26-year-old goes on to call fame "abusive."
"The vibe of this -- stalking, talking s--t online, [people who] won't leave you alone, yelling at you in public -- is the vibe of an abusive ex-husband. That's what it feels like. I didn't know it would feel this bad," Roan said.
Since her recent rise to fame, she has been lucky to lean on other female artists who have also dealt with the negatives of fame. Following the airport incident, Roan reached out to fellow singer, Lorde for advice.
"She sent me a list of things I should do [in that situation]," Roan said. "Literally wrote down eight things she wished someone would have told her when she was going through it. And she went through f--king hell. She was a baby!"
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View StoryThe Grammys
The "HOT TO GO!" star also revealed that while her mom "would love to go to the Grammys or the Brits," Chappell is unsure about the award ceremonies.
"I'm kind of hoping I don't win, because then everyone will get off my ass: ​'See guys, we did it and we didn't win, bye!' I won't have to do this again!"
Roan's main focus right now is a long-lasting career rather than a quick 15-minutes of fame.
"I feel ambitious about making this sustainable," she said of her career.​ "That's my biggest goal right now. My brain is like: quit right now, take next year off."
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View Story"This industry and artistry f--king thrive on mental illness, burnout, overworking yourself, overextending yourself, not sleeping. You get bigger the more unhealthy you are. Isn't that so f--ked up? The ambition is: how do I not hate myself, my job, my life, and do this? Because right now, it’s not working. I’m just scrambling to try to feel healthy."
It comes after Roan attended the 2024 MTV Video Music Awards where she made headlines for cussing out a photographer while posing for photos.
Shortly after the incident, Chappell opened up to Entertainment Tonight about the encounter, calling the carpet "horrifying."
Chappell Roan reacts to being yelled at by photographers on the #VMAs black carpet: "The carpet is horrifying, and I yelled back!" pic.twitter.com/SqUbGdBhnm
— Entertainment Tonight (@etnow) September 11, 2024 @etnow
She also took to social media in August to ask fans to respect her boundaries.
"I don't want whatever the f--k you think you're entitled to whenever you see a celebrity," Roan told her millions of followers on TikTok.
"I'm allowed to say no to creepy behavior, okay."