Khloe Kardashian Reveals Therapist Betrayal, Spills on Brother Rob, Ozempic & Why She's Not Dating

"When you're young, you think 40 is so old, and now I'm like, 'Wait -- I feel so good!' the reality star told Bustle in a new interview. I am in the best shape of my life. I'm doing new career stuff. I've only been 40 for about six months, but it's the absolute best. You don't give a s--t about some of the stuff you once did."

In fact, it's not just about what's coming ahead for Khloé, she's also thrown off the shackles of much of what she feels was holding her back. "I called it shedding -- shedding this decade of my 30s and this energy I wanted to leave behind."

One of those things she wanted to leave behind was an insecurity and anxiety she's come to realize happened in part of because of the COVID-19 pandemic, or the aftermath of it when it came time to emerge from isolation and rejoin the world.

"It made me super socially anxious once we got back to the real world. And for some reason I got really insecure about doing anything on my own," she admitted. "What if this failed? There were so many negative thoughts in my head."

Thinking of herself as a confident person before the pandemic, Khloé had to kind of unpack how her relationship struggles coupled with living as a "recluse" during the pandemic did a number on her self-esteem.

"I don't think I really put all of it together, that it was just this perfect negative storm that festered," she explained. "I started being so mean to myself and I don't know where it came from. I mean, I could speculate a few areas why, but it made me sad, the person that I allowed my inner voice to be -- because that's never been me."

In taking the time for self-reflection, Khloé also had to acknowledge that her driving perfectionism -- which can be great professionally -- isn't such a great thing in her day-to-day life ... and especially now that she's become a mother.

"I've learned it's OK for me to show a messy room because I don't want them to feel like everything has to be perfect," she said.

"I'm so much kinder to other people than I am to myself," The Kardashians star continued. "With my kids, I had to learn, well, why do I give so much grace and empathy and understanding to everybody else? It's OK for me to give myself that same patience and grace."

With Khloé admitting to having that self-confidence through most of her life, despite enduring years of public scrutiny and unwarranted comments on her physical appearance, many were surprised when she appeared to suddenly slim down in recent years.

She even admitted, "When I was bigger, I thought I was the hottest thing in the world. I had so much more confidence the bigger I was, which is what's crazy."

Well, first of all, Khloé said that it's been a 10-year journey toward fitness for her, so get out of here with that, but it's also been a journey she didn't really expect to find herself on. In fact, it was a shocking betrayal that first sent her to the gym.

"My weight loss journey started because I was getting a divorce. I remember I was going to therapy and the next thing I knew, something private I told my therapist was on a tabloid," she said. "And I knew that my therapist disclosed this information to a tabloid because there's no way this could have gotten out there."

That move pushed her away from the benefits of therapy with her trust shattered. But as she felt she "still needed a release," Khloé said she "felt safest" in the gym.

Nevertheless, the journey has been "a constant struggle" for her because she discovered that in contrast to all that confidence she said she had before the gym, "the more in shape I am, the more insecure I can get because I'm so hard on myself. It's a vicious cycle that you don't get out of."

The public response didn't help, either, as it remained relentless, just changing its narrative. "When I started losing weight, I got the same thing," she said. "I was fat-shamed every day when I was bigger, and then when I lost weight, people were like, 'How dare you, you are so insecure, you're following society.'"

And while Khloé has been adamant that she's achieved her slimmer figure through a decade of hard work, she wants to make it clear she's not knocking all those weight-loss drugs she's been accused of taking to achieve her results.

"If people get surgery or [get on] the Ozempic craze, I'm like, 'Who cares!'" she exclaimed. "As long as people feel good about themselves, who am I to judge? I think it's ridiculous, the judgment on that. I'm just mad [Ozempic] wasn't around 10 years ago."

While she may not have had Ozempic a decade ago, she has always had her family. When talking about the mental impact Covid had on her, Khloé talked about how it was sister Kim Kardashian who really "held my hand through so many dark phases," as well as momager Kris Jenner.

"But Kim has really been this crusader for me," she said. "I feel like she has always been holding that light at the end of the tunnel, drawing me closer to the light."

"I'm just really grateful for that relationship," the Good American founder added. "When people see things in you that you can't see in yourself and they keep reminding you." She also credits Kim with convincing her to get back into therapy.

As much as Kim has been Khloé's rock for all these years, it's been her special relationship with brother Rob Kardashian that fans have been enamored with since the early days of Keeping Up with the Kardashians when Rob was still featured on the show.

Even through the screen, fans have always seen and loved that connection. When reminded of that enduring appreciation for their sibling bond, Khloé said, "Oh my gosh, I have the biggest smile on my face. That makes me so happy to hear."

"I love all my siblings, but I think with Rob, I identify with him so much," she shared. "I feel so deeply what he feels -- the struggles that he has, or just wanting to be out of the public eye, or just feeling like he doesn't fit in or is being judged about his appearance."

One of the middle siblings in a huge family, Khloé said that she believes the KarJenner kids "were raised in pairs." She explained, "It was Kourtney and Kim, and then it was me and Rob, and then Kendall and Kylie."

"And I just feel like we are both each other's protectors," she added of Rob. "I love him so much. It's just innate."

Those tight bonds were why it was so important for Khloé to have at least one more child after True.

"Not to be morbid, but when my dad passed away, my mom -- regardless of how incredible and amazing she is -- she couldn't understand the pain that we felt," she said. "And so for True, I was like, 'I need her to have someone.'"

"It's just inevitable that both of her parents at some point will go. And I just need her to have that support system," she added.

For years, many fans have considered Khloé the most relatable and seemingly the kindest and most down-to-earth of the sprawling KarJenner clan. She admits it's not an easy path to take, but still one she strives to walk.

"I believe how you treat others is a reflection of you," while also conceding, "the good still gets you walked on all over."

That's why she believes "there is a boundary, but you can be kind and stern." She went on to explain, "It's not what you say, it's how you say it. These are the golden rules. It's something that I don't just tell my children about, but I show my children by how I treat others and by how I treat them."

She's taking that philosophy of kindness into her podcast, which she promised will not be "salacious," but rather she hopes to offer a "positive message" to her listeners while exploring her "curiosities -- all the things I wonder about."

"I am not going to be gossiping about other people," Khloé insisted, but that still loves a lot of area to explore. "It's more the things that I'm into," she said. "I love talking about religion or grief or the afterlife or healing and trauma, dating, relationships."

She also teased that she's recorded two episodes already, one featuring podcaster Jay Shetty and the other her "brother-in-law," as she referred to him, Scott Disick.

"I don't want to sound ungrateful at all -- I love every single thing that I do, and it makes me so fulfilled -- but there are times I'm like, 'I wish I could give more to people, something that has some heart or depth or some takeaway,'" Khloé said. "And so that's really the point of my podcast. You listen and you're like, 'Oh, wow, OK, it was good for my soul.'"

She's also taken that philosophy and life approach into the brand marketing she associates herself with, sharing how her understanding of the industry she finds herself in has changed over the years, and how she's more intentional now.

"When I first started in this industry, people would be like, 'Here's X amount of money if you wear this sweater,'" she recalled. "And I was like, 'You get paid to wear a sweater?!'"

Now, she said she won't support anything she can't stand behind. "I could be doing cash grabs all day long if I didn't have a conscience," she explained. "I could be on OnlyFans, I could be doing crazy things -- but that's not my thing."

Instead, she continues to be very intentional about the products she's involved with, or just takes the helm and does them herself, as she's done by launching her first-ever solo fragrance XO Khloé.

She was so committed to getting it just right and being conscientious about promoting a product she can truly stand behind, the reality star admitted her "perfectionism" caused things to run late.

"I did have some deadlines that I didn’t make because the scent wasn’t right, but I needed the perfectionism there because it had to be something that I wanted to drench my body in and wear every day and stand behind it," she explained. "I don’t want to be selling a fragrance, and then someone asks me what I am wearing and it’s not mine."

She describes the scent as "a genuinely lovely and light floral concoction packaged in a weighty geometric bottle," and shared that she has, in fact, worn it every day since getting a sample.

"I was very nervous to do it on my own," she said of developing the fragrance. "It's very vulnerable. It's a lot of pressure, but I wanted to push my boundaries."

One boundary she's not feeling ready to push, however, is her current relationship status -- which is contentedly single. As she made it very clear that it's just "not been a focus." Three years into being single, the reality star said she isn't lonely or looking.

"I'm just single. I have such power and strength in that," she said. "There would be a difference if I was single and lonely: 'I really need my partner.' I am single and thriving."

She also worries that she's in "such a good place" right now, "I just don't want something to disrupt it." And at the same time, she admits that even if she were so inclined, "dating today is very scary."

"I'm not going to meet someone on social media. I'm not checking my DMs," she said. And as for the actual logistics of dating, how would that even work, she wondered?

"I'm not going to a restaurant where there's paparazzi and everyone's going to say we're getting married next week," she said. "I'm not going to your home because what if you kill me? You're not coming to my home -- I have kids! And I'm not going to a hotel -- that's presumptuous. So I'm like, 'What do you do?'"

She laughed that Kris "probably thinks I'm going to die like this," but she just doesn't feel like it's the right time. "My focus is my children, work, and me, and I'm so happy."

Part of that happiness comes from her ongoing work on the Kardashian family reality show, previously Keeping Up with the Kardashians on E! before relaunching as just The Kardashians on Netflix. And she said she really does love it "for so many reasons," but mostly for keeping the family close.

"If it weren't for the show, we probably wouldn't see each other as much as we do. Although we live in the same community, life gets away from you," she said.

And then there's the fact that she now has what are effectively "really expensive home videos" of their lives and memories together. As for the future of the show, Khloé joked, "Maybe the kids will take over. I have no idea."