Sister Wives' Robyn Feels 'Powerless' in Monogamous Marriage With Kody: 'Not What I Wanted'

On Sunday's all new episode of Sister Wives, Robyn and husband Kody Brown detailed how their lives have changed since going from a plural marriage with fellow wives Janelle Brown, Christine Brown and Meri Brown to a monogamous relationship within the last few years.

"I feel really powerless, and I feel it's just more of my dream slipping away," Robyn said in a confessional after Kody told her he sees no hope of reconciliation with his ex-wives. "It's more of what I hoped for slipping away. I just don't know how to let it go."

But for Kody, even with Robyn expressing her hopes that he might be able to fix his relationship with at least Janelle, he knows the past is the past.

"I've thought about this for a whole year or two with Janelle, we're not in love," Kody told Robyn. "Me and Janelle just don't want to be around each other. She wants to do things different than what I want to do. We're just not matching up."

Despite this, Robyn admitted in her confessional, "I just still think that they could work it out."

But Kody is sure that it won't, with Robyn's heartbreak over the loss of their plural marriage prompting some worry in the Brown family patriarch.

"Will you accept me as a monogamist? Is there a problem with that?" he asked her.

Robyn told him she'll "always stick with," but admitted in a confessional that "this is not what I wanted for my life. I'm just sort of stuck."

"Whatever I've done in these marriages, they're done," Kody told Robyn, adamant that his prior lives with his former wives are over. "Whatever happened between me and them, I'm done. I'm not going to fix it with Meri. I'm not going to try and fix it with Janelle anymore. She's done with me."

"I miss nothing," the father of 18 added of his former life -- except "the love" of his children.

Unable to let it go, Robyn questioned whether Kody truly loved his former wives.

"But you, like, fell in love and was in love with each of them, though, right?" she asked him. "Like, you're saying a lot of really different, strange things you've never said before about loving them and not loving them. It's been weird."

While Kody admitted to Robyn he hadn't understood "deep divine love" in his first marriages, he's now ready to close the book on them ... and this conversation.

"What do I have to say to make you actually let it go?" he asked her. "I need you to let that go for me and not hold it against me."

Reflecting on Robyn joining their family, Kody added, "I must have sold her something special because she came in wanting to be part of this special thing," he noted. "And now that it's falling apart, it's messing with her."

Elsewhere during the episode, Kody opened up about losing his virginity in college, something he said he still regrets to this day.

"I had a lover in college, and it was a little tryst," Kody said in a confessional. The reality star confessed he was "a naughty boy based on my faith" because of the dalliance.

"I had a relationship in college where I lost my virginity," he shared. "It was devastating to me. It was heartbreaking."

Since "purity" was "everything" in his faith, Kody said having sex out of wedlock messed with him. "It's like you're working your way back for it," he told the cameras, reiterating, "It is devastating."

Robyn helped him through it, however, with Kody adding that he told her about it in the first month, noting that Meri also knew about it, but he never told Christine or Janelle because he wasn't as close with his former wives.

While being a monogamist is a "weird" feeling for Kody, he said he wants Robyn to see his worth after going through the loss of three relationships in such a short period of time.

"It's a weird place to be where I'm a monogamist now. Not out of some kind of choice, so to speak, but out of a consummate failure in marriage relationships," he said to the cameras. "I've had three women who've decided I'm not worth it."

"I don't want Robyn to see me as worthless," Kody added before asking. "Am I really kind of just not worth it?"

Sister Wives airs on TLC Sundays at 10:00 p.m. ET.