Ally Lewber Details 'Wakeup Call' After James Kennedy Domestic Violence Arrest That Made Her Walk Away for Good

Two months after calling it quits with the Vanderpump Rules DJ after three years together, the astrologer is sharing more about what allegedly went down that night. Lewber was at Kathy Hilton's holiday party and was busy reading The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star's birth chart before rejoining Kennedy.

"When I was finished working and came out to the party, that's when it was like, 'Oh, his whole demeanor changed,'" Lewber recalled in an interview with PEOPLE published Tuesday. "I could kind of tell, like, 'Have you been drinking?'"

Although Lewber said she was hesitant to accuse Kennedy, who's been open about his battle with alcohol addiction, of breaking his sobriety, things quickly escalated once they got into an Uber to head home.

"I was like, 'You're obviously drunk,'" the StarStruck podcast host recalled telling him. "It's pretty easy to spot."

But she said Kennedy wasn't having it and allegedly gaslit her, telling her, "I'm not drunk, you're drunk."

Tensions between the pair ran high, and the fighting continued once they arrived at their destination.

"We were just fighting outside," Lewber, who said her friend Jack was also in attendance, added, noting that it was at that point the police showed up. She clarified, though, that she doesn't know who called them.

"They assessed the situation, and I was not hurt physically," she explained. "Emotionally, yes. That's kind of how that night played out, unfortunately."

While Lewber maintains she was not physically assaulted, a third party who witnessed the incident claimed that a man "lifted" his girlfriend and "threw her to the ground," according to docs obtained by TMZ. Prosecutors ultimately decided not to press charges against James.

The aftermath of the incident served as a "wakeup call" for Lewber.

"I never was physically hurt and I never felt unsafe," she said. "It was more just walking on eggshells and feeling anxious about, when is his next blow-up going to be?"

With Kennedy allegedly drinking behind her back, Lewber eventually sought therapy and leaned on her family and friends for support as she made the decision to leave him for good.

As tough as it was, the former reality star says the whole experience gave her the clarity she needed.

"I'm weirdly grateful because it made me face the facts," she admitted. "It was just a lot of wake-up calls that needed to happen, but it wasn't easy in the moment."

Kennedy, for his part, has been vocal about his commitment to personal growth following the arrest.

In December, he took to his Instagram Stories to share his focus on sobriety and self-improvement, writing, "I am committed to making meaningful changes in my life… Navigating challenging moments is not easy, but I am determined to learn, grow, and move forward with the incredible support system around me." In January, he said he celebrated 48 days of sobriety.

As for Ally, she's moving forward and feeling like herself again.

"I didn't even realize this really until I was out of the house for a while, but just how my nervous system just feels normal again," Lewber said. "Monitoring someone's behavior is not healthy."