Getty
"My heart has not healed, and I don't know that it ever will heal," he said, replying to the "messages" he has received about the tragic death of the 29-year-old hockey player.
There is a reason why the Chrisley parents are not speaking about the death of Nic Kerdiles.
During the Wednesday, August 20th episode of their Chrisley Confessions 2.0 podcast, the couple broke their silence on the death of Kerdiles -- their daughter Savannah's ex-fiancé.
"I've had so many people send me messages on Instagram wanting to know why I haven't discussed it," Todd Chrisley began. "So a lot of the questions were, 'Why have you not talked about Nic on the podcast yet?' Well, that's very simple, because it is still very fresh to me."
Nic's death is "still so painful" for the Chrisleys nearly two years after he died at 29 in a motorcycle accident in September 2023. Todd explained that he still wasn't feeling up to talk about it because he felt the accident was so "surreal" that he became "numb."
"I'm actually not ready to discuss it today, but out of respect for Nic and the love that we have for him today and will have for him for the rest of our days, I'm going to have this conversation one time, and I'm never talking about it again," he added.
"My heart has not healed, and I don't know that it ever will heal -- and I don't feel like I owe that to you. I don't feel like I owe it to anyone to talk about how I feel about him today vs. how I felt about him when he lost his life," he continued, getting emotional.
"But out of respect for the love that we have for him, I will tell you it was the hardest thing that I have ever dealt with in my life," he shared.
Savannah Chrisley Says Ex Robert Shiver 'Ghosted' Her After Brief Reconciliation
View StoryTodd insisted he was still close with Nic, despite he and Savannah going their separate ways, and wished they'd been able to wed.
"I so wanted he and Savannah to be married," he said. "I wanted grandchildren and that didn't come to pass. But even when they broke up, I still had lunch with Nic, I still talked to Nic every day. We texted a million times a day," he revealed.
Savannah and the hockey player began dating in 2017 and announced their engagement in 2019. In September 2020, Savannah confirmed she and Nic had called off their engagement.
Julie and Todd Chrisley Admit Real Life is 'Rougher Than Prison Life' After Trump Pardon
View StoryTodd explained how Nic's death was "devastating" for the whole family, including "Mama" as Nic "worshipped" her.
He noted how their son Chase was deeply affected by Nic's passing and was on a plane recently with Todd "weeping."
"Nic was always calling Chase out on his s--t," Todd said before Julie added that the pair would "butt heads at times."
"He [Chase] has a photo on his phone of all the photos of him and Nic and videos of them doing stupid stuff," Todd said through tears.
"I said, 'Son you have to let it out, that's why you're so angry right now, 'cause you're holding all this stuff in. You have to process it correctly you have to be with a therapist,'" Todd said, before adding that Chase views therapy as "weak."
"I have learned that there is purpose in the pain," Todd said.