"If you thought that I was cold before, hell has frozen over, honey," Erika says on Tuesday's juicy episode.
Things got messy on Tuesday's "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills," and it was all thanks to pot-stirrer extraordinaire Lisa Rinna.
Dorit Kemsley planned an extravagant Bahamian getaway for the ladies, which gave us serious FOMO. She went above and beyond to make sure the trip was divine, but that didn't keep LVP from taking jab after jab at her. We all know that's what Lisa does when she's upset about something, and even though she insisted she was over the whole dog situation, something tells us she wasn't.
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View StoryICYMI: Dorit adopted a dog from Lisa's dog rescue center, Vanderpump Dogs. After realizing the pup wasn't a good fit for her family, Dorit gave the dog to someone she believed would provide a better home. The dog wound up in a kill shelter, and Lisa was notified immediately. She was upset, but she insisted she knew Dorit's heart was in the right place. Her team, however, was livid.
One of Lisa's employees, who happens to be friends with Teddi Mellencamp-Arroyave, told her her what had happened. Later, a different employee told Kyle Richards about the ordeal. While in the Bahamas, the topic kept coming up in strange ways, but like before, LVP insisted she didn't want to discuss it and that things had been put to bed.
The next day, Rinna had breakfast with Kyle and Teddi -- and finally got the full story from them. A light bulb went off in her head. "Why would they do that to you guys?" she asked.
"They wanted us to know," Kyle replied.
"Why?" Rinna asked again. "You have to see what part you're playing in this because [Kyle has] had some stuff with Dorit, and so have you [Teddi]. And they gave you that piece of information because she doesn't want to take responsibility for it."
At that moment, Kyle and Teddi saw the light, too.
"She's doling it out so she can go, 'Oh, dear! I don't know what's happening. I don't wanna talk about it. I don't wanna talk about it,'" Rinna continued. "She just set you all up. She doesn't want to get her hands dirty! If she had just gone to Dorit and said, 'Why did you give the dog back? I'm not over this.' Now, it's messy. Now, everybody's involved. This is like f--king high school shit."
Kyle agreed, adding, "Lisa's mad at Dorit about it, but she doesn't wanna rock the boat with her."
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View StoryThe topic reared its ugly head at dinner the next evening. (Some crazy you-know-what went down between LVP and Erika Girardi before this dinner happened, but one disaster at a time.) When Dorit got up to go to the bathroom, Kyle expressed to Lisa that she felt uncomfortable that Dorit didn't know that they knew about her dog situation. When Dorit got back to the table, Teddi decided to fill her in, and it made Vanderpump look not-so-good.
"Lisa, you should've protected Dorit," Rinna chimed in. "Period, end of story."
"Oh, my God. I have 400 employees. I can't be responsible for everything they do and say," Vanderpump replied.
"Yeah, you can!" Rinna shot back. "It's Vanderpump Dogs, baby!"
Denise Richards -- with a mouth full of food -- leaned in to Camille Grammer and candidly said, "I'm lost."
LVP maintained she had nothing to do with Kyle and Teddi finding out about Dorit's business, but Rinna begged to differ. "Lisa, why aren't you upset about this?!" Rinna shouted from across the table. "He's your employee. This wouldn't get out there if you didn't want it out there. This is bullshit going to Teddi, bringing Kyle in. This sounds like a f--king setup."
"I was... I... Are you kidding me?" Vanderpump stuttered. Rinna told the camera, "I wonder if Vanderpump's slipping because it's so f--king obvious. People call her manipulative and a puppet master and all that stuff, but I'm a little worried about her. She's f--king slipping."
Soon enough, Dorit was in tears. Could Rinna actually have a point?
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View StoryEarlier in the day, Vanderpump was the one in tears. She was reluctant to go on the trip because her only brother had just died, but her husband urged her to go. After Rinna, Kyle and Teddi's insightful breakfast, the ladies took a boat to a private island to hang by the water and enjoy a beautiful lunch.
Knowing what she knew about Vanderpump's hangup with Dorit, Rinna urged everyone at the table to air out whatever grievances they had.
"Dorit brought us here so that whatever needs to be said, we can work through that," she announced. "Now, I don't know exactly what that is, but I think we should go around the table and find out if there's stuff that needs to be said. Like, let's go right to it."
When it was LVP's turn to speak, she got choked up. "I'm just happy to be among friends who have supported me, but I do have one thing to say, if I'm really honest," she began. "I don't want to bring it up because it makes me emotional. And [Kyle] spoke to me about it. It's that, Erika, when you sent me a couple of lines in your condolence card, I wish that you had called me."
"But I felt the best way to do that was to write," Erika replied.
"It was a little distant," Lisa said. "And that's one thing that we've really tried to overcome."
Erika was not happy. "No, that's a very personal note from me. I'm very sorry you feel that way, but that comes from my heart. If that didn't work for you, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry if you didn't think that was enough for you."
LVP uncharacteristically backed down and asked Erika if they could just move forward.
"Don't bring it up again, and we can move on," she replied sternly. "But I will defend myself down to the f--king bone. Don't make me out to be the bad guy."
"If you thought that I was cold before, hell has frozen over, honey," Erika told the camera. She later showed Rinna a photo of the note she had sent to LVP because she wasn't sure when she was going to need proof of it. It read: "Dear Lisa, Tom and I were saddened to hear of your brother Mark's passing. Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. Sincerest condolences, Erika."
"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.
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