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Macaulay Culkin staged his own counter-Oscars on Sunday night for his Twitter followers, and they were loving it. He dressed up in a tuxedo and chronicled Hollywood's biggest night, but with a twist. "I will be live tweeting the Oscars tonight," he explained to his followers, "but I won't be watching them."
Nevertheless, his fans got plenty of commentary about the Oscars and the nominees, and even several videos showing what Culkin was up to throughout the night. He was dressed to the nines so he could do important things like play with action figures, paint his nails and cook ramen noodles. A blogger's gotta eat!
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The Only Oscar Moments Anyone Will Be Talking About
View StoryWe're not usually about hoping that someone doesn't perform award-worthy work in their chosen career, but we do find ourselves kind of hoping that Culkin continues to not go to the Oscars, so he can keep up the good work of providing a solid alternative for people who want to be tangentially aware of the Oscars without having to deal with all those tedious speeches that get played off by the orchestra.
Below are some of his best bits from the night, chronicling the Oscars ceremony he could only see in his vivid imagination. We kind of want to spend some more time there.
You know how the first person that shows up at a party is totally lame?
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I'm betting you Dustin Diamond is the first person on the red carpet tonight.
EXCLUSIVE: I heard Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein were going to come disguised as a very tall man in a long trench coat but they got busted by security. #Oscars
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Here's some things I'm doing instead of watching the #oscars
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1. Making ramen pic.twitter.com/gPL0DDtHVP
🐰😘👯♂️🐰😁😑😍🤣😎🤤☠️👽👻💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩🙈🙈🙈👵👩🏘️🌋 - my script for @EmojiMovie 2. You're welcome, America! #Oscars
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BREAKING NEWS: Oh snap, @MargotRobbie just kneecapped all four other Best Actress nominees #Oscars #ITonya
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#Oscars PREDICTION:
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Best Picture: I think LaLa Land REALLY has a chance this year. We're gonna win this, my dudes!
#Oscars PREDICTION:
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Best comedy: Dunkirk!.. Oh wait, is there no best comedy category? This is bullshit!
#Oscars PREDICTION:
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Best Short Film: I firmly believe that Taylor Swift's "Negative Space" will take this one.
#Oscars PREDICTIONS:
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Best Cinematography: 37 years in film and I'm still not sure what a "cinematography" is.
#Oscars PREDICTION:
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Best Sound Mixing: This dog: pic.twitter.com/w8wBPBsknI
So glad to hear @jimmyfallon is hosting the #Oscars90 ceremony! What a great guy!
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Oh THAT Jimmy is hosting! Did he ever win Ben Stein's Money? #ManShow #Oscars
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#Oscars90 I heard there was a fourth billboard in that movie but it got cut out: pic.twitter.com/hMWU3N50KZ
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SPOILER ALERT: The Phantom Thread is Senator Palpatine #Oscars
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O.M.G. I just ripped the loudest fart during this montage. Do you think Meryl Streep just heard it? #MyAssAlmostFlewOff #BossBaby #Oscars
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Here's some things I'm doing instead of watching the #oscars
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3. Playing with myself pic.twitter.com/LOtfu2NMsN
Where are all the kids?! When do the actors get slimed? #Oscars
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For all of our foreign film fans, "Los servicios de traducción no funcionan. Por favor, inténtelo de nuevo más tarde" #ElOscars
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Ladybird is my favorite episode of Roseanne since Laurie Metcalf smoked a joint in the bathtub #StashFromThePast #Oscars90
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If anyone is curious about the music they're playing people off with here's a link: https://t.co/ywNtBoLMou
@IncredibleCulk
Here's some things I'm doing instead of watching the #oscars
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4. Painting my toenails pic.twitter.com/uMBLTBcOTz
WOW! Christopher Plummer is ALSO filling all the seats this year! Kevin Spacey lost ALL his jobs!
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Casey Affleck couldn't make it cause he was stuck in the 1950s.
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Glad to see Mudbound finally getting recognition #DarthMaulWasDopeOnBass pic.twitter.com/n4fnLgV12W
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The Disaster Artist was the worst harry potter movie this year #Oscars
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congratulations to Jordan Peele for finally getting his Gremlins movie made! #Oscars
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And Key was pretty all right in those superbowl commercials.
Why do they keep showing these clips? Play the damn movie already!
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I'm bummed this is the FOURTH year in a row I was left out of the In Memoriam #Oscars #NotDeadYet
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