The woman behind Nori's Black Book -- a viral parody Instagram account written entirely in the voice of Kim Kardashian's sassy 5-year-old daughter -- is bringing her talents to TooFab.
Each week, "Nori" will be recapping new episodes of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and giving us HER take on all the family drama.
(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)
Your Favorite North West Parody Recaps 'KUWTK' Christmas Party Drama and Bombshell Pregnancies
View StoryWe took last week off because of Labor Day -- a holiday that absolutely does not apply to Auntie Kourt, but I hope the rest of you enjoyed your time off. Now let's dive into this week's episode of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians."
The episode started with Auntie Khloe and Auntie Kourt recapping the holidays. They both agreed that the family Christmas Eve party was awkward because it was the first time that Scott and Auntie Kourt's then-boyfriend, Younes, were in the same room together. I'm sure Scott will bring his girlfriend, Sofia Richie, to this year's family Christmas Eve party, which she'll enjoy because there are plenty of non-alcoholic beverages for the kids.
Next we learned that the family was planing on doing "Family Feud" again. The first time they appeared on the show, they had their original body parts and they lost, so it was doubly embarrassing for the entire family. Of course, Auntie Kourt was not up for it because appearing on "Family Feud" felt too much like working, which she's never here for.
While randomly out on the lake with Auntie Kourt, Mommy's hands and wrists were hurting too much to take a selfie, so she enlisted someone from production to be her "Selfie Assistant" -- a job Auntie Kourt should probably be doing because it's less demanding than shooting a reality TV show. Mommy later found out that she had early onset carpal tunnel syndrome. Kris said she thought Mommy should just stop taking selfies altogether until she realized the selfies were bringing in money, and no selfies would mean no 10 percent. Kris quickly abandoned her advice and then demanded that Mommy "make that money, honey." Kris is currently working on getting Mommy an endorsement deal for a wrist brace. The ads are coming soon to Instagram.
'North West' Recaps Recaps 'KUWTK' Battle Over Khloe's Weight as Kris SCOLDS Scott Disick!
View StoryLater, Mommy and MJ FaceTimed Auntie Kourt from Mommy's KKW Beauty photo shoot, and Auntie Kourt was crying. (If you've been playing a "KUWTK" drinking game and taking a shot every time Auntie Kourt cries this season, are you alive?) Auntie Kourt couldn't talk because P was in the room, and we all know how nosey she is, so she texted Mommy instead that she was upset because Scott introduced the Disick kids to Sofia before the agreed-upon time. Little did she know, Mason had already met Sofia. They were in the same class together last year.
Meanwhile, "Family Feud" was turning into a complete disaster. Mommy had to recruit Auntie Kendall to play because no one was really interested in doing the show, and MJ couldn't commit to playing until the day of the taping because of her health. Auntie Kendall was reluctant at first, but eventually she agreed to play. More problems arose when our competitors, The Hiltons, pulled out of "Family Feud" at the last minute. Apparently, Paris Hilton will tape a home video all night, but ask her to play a game show on TV for 30 minutes, and it's out of the question.
Nori's Notebook: 'North West' Recaps 'KUWTK' Group Therapy Session with Kim, Kourtney and Khloe
View StoryTo remedy the situation, Mommy decided that "Family Feud" would be the Kardashians versus the Wests, even though the Kardashian team would literally only have one Kardashian on it. Mommy jumped ship to play with the Wests, but with MJ still questionable, the Kardashian team was still one player short. It was Mommy's bright idea to invite Jonathan to fill the vacant spot. Jonathan somehow found a way to clear his busy schedule of Boomeranging himself eating hamburgers on Instagram to fly in from Miami to be on the show.
Later, the least interesting to look at and Auntie Kourt went horseback riding. Auntie Kourt told Kendall about her latest therapy session with Scott. Scott allegedly apologized to Kourt for not letting her know that the Disick kids were meeting Sofia. Since Scott's in the apologizing mood, I hope he gives Lionel Richie a few much-needed apologies as well.
Nori's Notebook: 'North West' Recaps 'KUWTK' Premiere Drama Between Kim and Kourtney
View StoryAt the taping of "Family Feud," there was drama on drama. Jonathan showed up because MJ was still thought to be questionable. However, MJ also showed up ready to play, but no one wanted to tell Jonathan he had to sit out. DadYe was unwilling to kick one of his cousins off the team for Jonathan, and I don't blame him. Jonathan's not family, his outfit was tacky and I'm pretty sure he owes us money. Steve Harvey had to step in and sort out the mess. It was decided that MJ and Kris would play together, that way Jonathan still got to play as well. Now, if it were up to me, I would've dropped Jonathan like he was hot.
The Kardashian team won, but if you watched the episode, you know that Mommy and DadYe actually played the "Fast Money" round because no one was tuning in to see Auntie Kendall and Jonathan do anything.
Meet me back here next week when I recap Episode 6 of my show.
Got a story or a tip for us? Email TooFab editors at tips@toofab.com.
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