Nori's Notebook: Your Favorite North West Parody Recaps 'KUWTK' Christmas Party Drama and Bombshell Pregnancies

Each week, "Nori" will be recapping new episodes of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and giving us HER take on all the family drama.

(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)

Sunday's "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" opened with Kris and Auntie Khloe in Kris' kitchen. Kris couldn't stop staring at Auntie Khloe because she said pregnancy suits her. Truthfully, she was just thinking about how much money the Good American maternity line would make and what that meant for her 10 percent.

Auntie Khloe brought up wanting a maternity shoot to announce her pregnancy, but since Auntie Kylie was three months ahead, she wanted to wait and see if Auntie Kylie would announce her pregnancy first. If Kris would've been doing her job, they would've announced their pregnancies together on their apps and released a special-edition Lip Kit called "Baby Bumps." I don't understand why we didn't capitalize on this more.

Later on, Kris had a dinner at her house. I skipped out on it because I just can't deal with those people during the holidays. Mommy showed MJ the photos from our Christmas card shoot and explained that we would be posting a picture every day until Christmas, which I like to call "The 25 Uncalled For Days of Christmas." At one point, Kris had to excuse herself from the table because she didn't feel well. I think she got nauseous when she realized there was no way she could make 10 percent off of the family Christmas card. Thanks to Auntie Kourtney, Kris left the table convinced someone was trying to poison her.

In a later scene, Kris asked Mommy, Auntie Khloe and Auntie Kendall to help plan Christmas. The question came up about whether or not Auntie Kourtney would be coming to Christmas because she threatened to not do Thanksgiving with the family because the turkey wasn't going to be gluten-free. Auntie Kourtney soon joined the conversation and confirmed she'd be doing Christmas with the family, but she said she didn't think Scott should come to the Christmas Eve party. Everyone told Auntie Kourt that was outrageous. Auntie Kendall then felt that was the perfect time to advocate for her dad, Caitlyn. Mommy tried to explain that Scott was a more acceptable guest than Caitlyn because he's never done anything mean. Who knew the bar to be invited to the family Christmas Eve party was set so low?

Later at Khloe's house, Mommy and Auntie Khloe briefed Scott about how his invitation to the family Christmas Eve party was in limbo. To secure his invite, he casually brought up that he could write a tell-all book about the family. Well played, Scott. Well played.

Auntie Kendall and Auntie Kourtney chatted about Mommy. Auntie Kourtney said that Mommy had been bitchy to her and that she could say a million things back to her if she wanted to -- like how Mommy has cellulite on her butt. I really wish Auntie Kourtney would've kept this same energy when she saw Mommy at the Christmas Card shoot. During this same conversation, they all agreed Auntie Khloe was crazy. (She still is.)

While doing their interviews, Auntie Kylie and Mommy decided to prank Kris. They called Kris and made her believe Auntie Kourtney was the one who had been poisoning her. Of course, Kris believed them. I'm concerned that someone so gullible has my career in her hands. Kris found out later that no one had been poisoning her and that she was feeling sick because of her change in medication.

Back at Khloe's house, Auntie Khloe told Mommy that Auntie Kourtney called her to tell her she was scared about how her life was going to turn out, and that Auntie Kendall felt the same. Mommy and Auntie Khloe thought that was absurd. They decided to call Auntie Kendall to figure out what was going on with Auntie Kourtney. Auntie Kendall told them that Auntie Kourtney was thinking about going out of town for Christmas. Mommy said she was convinced Auntie Kourtney was the new Rob, which of course would make Younes the new Blac Chyna. I can see that. Eventually, Auntie Kourtney decided she was going to do Christmas with the family instead of going out of town.

Mommy and Auntie Kylie called Auntie Khloe to tell her that Auntie Kylie was never going to announce her pregnancy. She said she'd rather keep the public in suspense, drive everyone crazy, then steal the NFL's thunder and announce Cousin Stormi's arrival on Super Bowl Sunday.

Auntie Kourtney told Scott that he could come to the family Christmas Eve party as long as he could be respectful toward Younes. The invite was not extended to Sofia Richie, but that's okay because she usually spends Christmas Eve making cookies for Santa.

The episode ended with the family Christmas Eve party. I ended up making a few appearances as contractually obligated by E! I hope Younes had fun because that's the last family Christmas Eve party he will ever attend.

Meet me back here next week when I recap Episode 5 of my show.

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