"Pig," "rabid dog" and "trash" were all terms the women used to describe each other as tensions flared during the reunion.
Only Vicki Gunvalson can be demoted to "friend" and still manage to make a whole reunion about her.
During Wednesday's first episode of the three-part ordeal, Andy Cohen introduced the main cast of the "The Real Housewives of Orange County" and dove right into the hottest topics of the season, all while Vicki was in the back, seething. Cameras caught up with her in her dressing room, where she was throwing a fit to one of the show's main producers, Gavin.
"I am pissed at you guys right now. I feel like a f--king fool," she hurled at Gavin. "I'm literally gonna leave. This is bullshit. Where am I sitting? I wanna know. Where am I sitting? Am I coming in, sitting at the end like a little lap dog?"
Gavin began to explain, "I think that they're trying to figure that out right now," but Vicki cut him off. "I'm not going in, sitting at the end. I started this show 15 years ago," she fired back, as Gavin muttered, "Totally understand."
"So you put me on, or take me... Just let me go!" Gunvalson added, throwing her hands up in the air. "F--king just let me go if you don't want me anymore. Just let me go in grace!"
Over on the couches, Emily Simpson and Gina Kirschenheiter were put on the spot about the status of their friendship. Gina felt she had been a good friend to Emily but that Emily wasn't there for her in her time of need (DUI arrest, Matt's affair, divorce). She also felt Emily spoke poorly about her behind her back. Oddly enough, Emily felt the exact same way (relationship with Shane, health issues, weight issues), so not much progress was made.
In the meantime, Kelly Dodd and Tamra Judge were hurling insults to each other under their breath. Kelly called Tamra a "dummy" who didn't finish high school. Tamra swore she did.
When Andy asked Emily if he felt Gina changed as a result of befriending Shannon Beador and becoming close to the Tres Amigas, she said yes. That's when Kelly stepped in and started to explain, "What happens is, and I know this 'cause I'm seasoned..." Tamra and Shannon, who've both been on the show for longer, mocked Kelly for calling herself seasoned. Kelly one-upped them by hurling back, "Not as much as you guys are. I'm not. You guys are very seasoned. I mean, you guys are burnt. Cooked!" Andy cringed as Tamra called Kelly "such a horrible person."
When Braunwyn Windham-Burke tried to intervene, Tamra scoffed that the newcomer couldn't help but make everything about her. That prompted more bickering between Tamra and Kelly, who sarcastically called Judge a "great mom." The topic of Emily allegedly knowing Shane's cousin had a girlfriend when she set him up with Gina also came up. Emily swore up and down she had no idea he wasn't single and said she showed Gina the screenshots to prove it. Tamra refused to believe it. Regardless, Gina said she still had love for her "sister" and went over to give her a big hug. Poor Emily couldn't walk over to Gina because she had undergone a total hip replacement just 10 days prior.
Meanwhile, Vicki was still going off on poor Gavin. "You think I'm okay with this? This show has gone down because I am not the leader!" Vicki's fiancé, Steve Lodge, approached her and asked what was going on. "The fact that they're in one or two acts already and now they're gonna throw me in like I'm thirsty. I feel like I'm with the bottom-feeders. I feel like I'm with the catfish!" she screeched. Steve suggested they just go home, but Vicki wasn't ready to give up that easy. "You know what? They made me wait. And every hour I waited while they're out there filming makes me feel like I'm a has-been," she said.
As producers escorted her in, Gunvalson barked, "Let me sit down and get my job over with!" The couch that had Shannon, Tamra and Gina scooted down to make room for Vicki. She sat closest to Andy. "I was waiting back there. My temperature's at like 150! Don't f--king do this to me. Yeap. Not good," she snarled at Cohen, before producers quieted the set.
But Andy got his revenge when the cameras started rolling. "While the OG of the O.C. needs no introduction, knowing her, she'd probably have some words with me if she didn't get one," he said, facing the camera. "So without further ado, please welcome Coto resident, insurance maven and the future Mrs. Lodge -- Jane Roe! I mean, Vicki Gunvalson. Hi, Vicki!" Our mouths were on the floor.
Last month, Vicki sued Kelly, Bravo and Evolution (though she quickly dropped the suit) for allegedly defamatory statements made by Dodd during the cast trip to Key West. She used the pseudonym Jane Roe.
Vicki explained to Andy she filed because "anybody that goes after my business -- I'm the CEO of a major corporation, and I ensure thousands and thousands of people -- for anybody to insinuate that I am fraudulent, a con woman or anything other than the truth, they're gonna get sued."
"It was a restraining order, by the way. It wasn't a lawsuit," Vicki said to Andy, as Kelly chuckled, "Yeah, and it didn't go through!"
During the break, Vicki told Tamra and Shannon she was "tired of [Kelly] making a pig face on things. I don't go after her flat ass and her stupid nose. I don't do that!" This was right after Tamra called Kelly a "rabid dog."
Gina and Braunwyn also got into it over Braunwyn's "little sister" comment, which Gina still doesn't think was as endearing as Braunwyn meant for it to be. Braunwyn said she's noticed that every time she tries to say something to Gina or give her advice, it's not well-received. "Then maybe you should stop giving me advice 'cause I've never asked you for advice," Gina barked back.
Kelly, Vicki and Tamra then got into another screaming match about money, assets and running businesses. Didn't we already do this? The name-calling was rampant. Vicki then turned her sights to Braunwyn and asked why she stood by and watched as Kelly spray-painted a picture of a pig onto a car, wrote "Vicki" on the hood and then smashed it with a bulldozer. Braunwyn couldn't even answer before Vicki turned to Kelly and asked, "What would make you draw a picture of a pig on a car? Do you think you're a beauty queen?"
"Yeah, actually, I'm way better looking than you are. That's for sure," Kelly fired back.
"Trash. You are an idiot. Get her off my show! Get her off my show! Get her off my show!" Vicki shouted at Andy, as Kelly interjected, "You're off the show," and Braunwyn added, "It's not your show."
Vicki begged to differ. "Oh, yes, Braunwyn! Season No. 1!" she screeched, pointing at her co-stars. "You wouldn't be here, you wouldn't be here, you wouldn't be here if I didn't start this 15 years ago!"
"The Real Housewives of Orange County" reunion continues Monday, December 23 on Bravo.