"I don't want that ho in this room!" shouts Porsha, as Marlo calls this co-star a "bald-headed scallywag."
Sunday's episode of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" reminded us why we love this unhinged show.
SnakeGate reared its ugly head in Toronto, and it turned into a full-blown blood bath. Three explosive fights broke out at once: Cynthia Bailey vs. Marlo Hampton, Porsha Williams vs. Yovanna Momplaisir and NeNe Leakes vs. Kenya Moore. All three were absolutely insane.
After Tanya Sam's rooftop party, the ladies gathered in Marlo's room. Before Yovanna and NeNe arrived, Porsha and Kenya decided they were going to approach Yovanna in a different manner; they were going to act as if they already had confirmation she was the snake who recorded Cynthia talking smack about NeNe.
While the self-appointed detectives were doing their thing with Yovanna, Marlo interrupted to let her know they were bluffing. Porsha and Kenya were pissed, as was Yovanna for being put on the spot again. Cue NeNe's grand entrance. She was wearing a red wrap dress that was completely open upon arrival. Leakes didn't seem to mind that she had "a whole titty out" because she had on pasties.
That's when Yovanna announced that everyone in the room was fake and tried to lecture them about how "real friends" behave. Cynthia -- who hasn't even heard the recording -- asked again if Yovanna recorded her, and Yovanna said no. That's when Kenya looked at NeNe and asked if she had heard the recording, as Cynthia begged her to reveal the name of the person.
NeNe started dancing around the subject, saying that "a recording is something very different than audio," which left everyone confused. Marlo tried to help explain what NeNe mant by throwing Cynthia under the bus. If you recall, Cynthia had a whole mic fiasco at the end of last season and didn't appreciate that Marlo brought it up.
"You sittin' over there 'cause you upset 'cause you done ran your goddamn mouth, and you gonna find out who it was!" Marlo hurled at Cynthia, who fired back, "This is a serious situation right now for me. So if you wanna get loud and show your ass, you go ahead. I could go to bed right now." Marlo urged Cynthia not to disrespect her in her own "house" (correction: hotel room), which prompted Cynthia to curse Marlo out! We've never seen this side of her.
"Sit yo ass down, Bob Marley!" Marlo hurled at Cynthia, who replied, "I should have known your ass ain't motherf--king changed... F--k you!" Marlo, in return, called her "the most insecure woman in the world" and a "bald-headed scallywag."
That's when Kenya got involved, shouting over everyone to remind NeNe that Cynthia still wanted to know who recorded her. Once again, NeNe danced around the subject, saying she's "not a snitch."
"I will say this," she finally said. "The person that -- whatever happened -- just stand up." No one budged. "Yovanna, go and talk to these people because I feel so disrespected right now," Marlo urged, as Kenya whispered to Cynthia that they already had their answer: Yovanna. But she continued to deny it.
An off-camera producer finally asked NeNe in a later confessional if Yovanna was the snake. "Snake is just a -- not a nice word," NeNe replied. "So I wouldn't call her a snake. Is Yovanna the one with the information? Yes."
"What I know is that Yovanna has some sort of audio of Cynthia," Leakes continued. "It's really important for Cynthia to hear what this girl has to say. I don't want the girls to think that I just made up some bullshit." An off-camera producer then asked, "Why don't you just tell her that it's Yovanna and get it over with?"
"I don't owe her that," NeNe replied. "She didn't tell me anything when I needed to know. She didn't give me any warning signs. She didn't give me a heads up. So I'm not giving her a heads up, no." Yes, NeNe was referring to Cynthia inviting Kenya to her party last year and not letting NeNe know ahead of time.
But now, Porsha was livid. "I don't think you understand what's going on here," she shouted, pointing her finger in Yovanna's face. "You came in this situation! First of all, you sitting here judging all of us, saying we fake as f--k, etc. ... You not gonna stand up and say nothing?!"
"The snake is your man! You need to worry about your man!" Yovanna boldly fired back. Porsha stood up immediately and had to be physically restrained by a very pregnant Eva Marcille. "That's the shit you need to worry about!" Yovanna kept shouting. Porsha asked why Yovanna would do that to their friendship, and her response was, "Y'all not my friends." Porsha screeched, "Then why the f--k you here, bitch?! I'm not your motherf--king friend, bitch! With your horrible motherf--king wig! Ho, I'm not your friend!"
As NeNe escorted Yovanna outside to talk in peace, she shouted, "F--k all of y'all," which Kenya met with, "F--k you, too, you f--king dumb ass blonde fake bitch!" NeNe tried to let Yovanna know she had her back, but also wanted her to fess up. "I said what I wanted to say," Yovanna maintained, but NeNe replied, "I didn't hear you say nothin'!"
"I'm just like, 'Girl, what the f--k are you doing?'" NeNe later told the camera. "Like, all of this time, you know and I know that there's audio. So why don't you just say it?'"
When NeNe brought Yovanna back into the room, Porsha lost it. "I don't want this ho in this room!" she yelled, as Kenya called for security. "Worry about your man f--king animals, bitch!" Yovanna hurled at Porsha while security escorted her out. As you recall, Porsha previously denied gossip that her man was into bestiality. He's never addressed the rumors.
NeNe tried to salvage the conversation with Cynthia, but she insisted they could talk at another time. NeNe wasn't taking no for an answer, so Kenya got involved, and WWIII erupted.
"You should have said it when you had the time to say it, NeNe. You had the floor," Kenya said. NeNe fired back, "You shut the f--k up, bitch!" They exchanged "shut the f--k up, bitch" several times as they inched closer and closer to each other's faces, getting louder and louder. NeNe had to be physically retrained by two men and three women, including Porsha and Marlo. As Kenya made her way to the hallway, NeNe followed -- as did her entourage of bodyguards. The screaming and shouting and obscenities did not let up.
The next day, Yovanna peaced out before Carnival, which is why the ladies were all there in the first place. She didn't even say bye to Tanya, but NeNe did. She also had to dip out early but made sure to fill Tanya in on all of the drama.
"What I'm mad about, blew-up booty, is that you continue to provoke someone and then you wanna act like you're a victim. You're not a victim, blow-up booty," NeNe later told the camera, talking about Kenya. "Don't make me have to stick a pin in that fake butt and push the air out, okurrr?"
In her confessional, Kenya said she felt like she was "baby Simba" and had a "wildebeest" coming at her. "I don't fight animals!" she exclaimed.
She continued to shade NeNe at dinner the next evening, wondering why Leakes was "setting thirst traps" by walking into their room the night of the fight with her boobs falling out of her dress. "NeNe is just so desperate to have everyone become her friend again," she said in a later confessional, "I just feel sorry for the girl. No, not really."
Shockingly, Marlo immediately apologized to Cynthia when she arrived at the table. It seemed genuine and Cynthia accepted it, but she told the camera she's going to keep her guard up around Marlo moving forward.
The girls then grilled Tanya about when she was going to get married, which was a topic of interest last season, too. She said she was perfectly content with things the way they were, which made Kenya roll her eyes.
Moore then posed a question to the group: "If you suspect or have heard that someone's man in the group was cheating, would you want to know?" Cynthia, Marlo and Kandi all said they'd want to know, but Kandi said she'd need evidence.
"Well, if a woman came up to you and said this stuff, and it was a woman who was accusing him," Kenya went on, "what if they didn't hook up with them and they just basically said that the person hit on them and they exchanged numbers?"
Cynthia's face dropped. She told the camera she was "privy to this information," as previously unseen footage showed a woman who worked at a cookie store telling Cynthia and Kenya about Tanya's fiancé, Paul, hitting on her.
"He kinda was like all over me, buying me drinks, telling me I had to leave somewhere," the "cookie lady" said. Cynthia was pissed. "This never had to go anywhere," she told the camera. "I knew Kenya was shady, but even for Kenya, it's like, 'Girl!'"
Tanya responded to Kenya's "hypothetical" situation with confusion, as Porsha said it sounded like "the beginning of cheating."
Kenya refused to name names and instead pivoted to her own troubled marriage. She said she had recently asked Marc why men cheat. His response: "Once a cheater, always a cheater."
When Kandi Burruss, who had also heard this story through the grapevine, asked Tanya how she'd respond if she ever found out Paul cheated, she said the relationship would be over, then corrected herself by saying her heart would be broken. She maintained Paul was faithful and said she had access to all his passwords on his phone.
"But how many phones does he have?" Kenya asked. Tanya said one, adding, "I feel like we just don't have secrets like that at all. I would be really hurt."
In happier news, Porsha got re-engaged to Dennis in front of all of the women, and they all had a blast at Carnival.
"The Real Housewives of Atlanta" airs Sundays at 8 p.m. on Bravo.
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