"Kris has been pitching a 'Scott and Kourtney fairytale wedding' to E! for years. She’s got Vera Wang on standby for the day Auntie Kourt finally starts thinking about the brand and not herself for once." - Nori
The woman behind Nori's Black Book -- a viral parody Instagram account written entirely in the voice of Kim Kardashian's sassy 7-year-old daughter -- continues to bring her talents to TooFab.
Each week, "Nori" recaps new episodes of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians," giving us HER take on all the family drama.
(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)
KUWTK Recap: Kourtney Confronts Poosh Employees for Disrespectful Behavior
View StoryThe episode started with Kim, Scott and Kourtney hanging out with their friends at the Malibu Vacation home. Their friend Simon asked Scott what type of exercise he did. Scott said all he does is walk. Simone invited him to do a six week program with him because he was sure Scott could get ripped. Scott declined because he’s not into hard labor.
North West: Hating any type of labor is the glue that keeps Scott and Auntie Kourt together.
Kourtney brought up the idea of hiring a lifeguard for the Malibu house for the safety of the kids when they are playing in or near the ocean. Their friend Simon mentioned that he used to be a lifeguard so he knows what to look for when hiring one. The lifeguard needed to be young, so Simon joked by saying they should ask Addisoin Rae if she had any friends that were lifeguards.
Later, Trevor, a lifeguard, showed up at the Malibu house. Because Trevor would be around the kids Kourtney wanted him to spend some time at the house so the family could see if they felt comfortable with him around the kids and to make sure he was a good fit with the family. Kourtney led him to the backyard by the pool to meet Kim, Kris, Scott and Khloe. Kim said that Trevor looked like one of Kourtney’s ex-boyfriends, Kourtney quickly changed the subject.
NW: I love how the person who suggested a lifeguard turned around and asked me to pay for it. I told her much like Addison Rae, I didn’t invite him here, so he’s your problem.
Kris and Khloe were admiring Trevor when he started to take his shirt off and apply sunblock to his washboard abs. Kris more so than Khloe. Scott was visibly uncomfortable. Scott was starting to question if Trevor was really a lifeguard or was he just in the gym all day.
NW: You know what Trevor is? Employed. Scott, can you relate? Can you say the same?
KUWTK Recap: Kim and Khloe Try Life in a Bunker As Anxiety Increases Following Foodgod's Robbery
View StoryAt Kim’s house, Khloe said that everyone had been asking her about Shorty. Shorty was a homeless man that Khloe helped in season one of the show. Shorty left a huge impression on her. She had recently been sent some photos by fans who have spotted Shorty around LA. Khloe felt it was a good time to reach out to him to see if he was okay. She heard that Shorty worked at a laundromat. Kourtney suggested that they go down to the neighborhood of where they thought he worked and look for him.
Back in Malibu, Khloe and Kim were hanging out with Addison Rae. Addison was in the SKIMS one year anniversary campaign. She also did some TikTok videos while wearing SKIMS. Kim thought it was really cool and wished she could do a TikTok dance. Kim thought it would be cute if she shot a SKIMS campaign on TikTok where she would do different dances while wearing SKIMS. Kim was always looking for new and innovative ways to shoot campaigns. Kim admitted she wasn’t really connected to TikTok and she doesn't know how to dance, but she wanted to make sure she was always evolving with the times. Addison was the perfect person to teach her the dances.
NW: All this just to reach a younger demographic? Surely there has to be a more effective and less humiliating way. If we’re trying to market to women ages 18-24, can’t we just ask Scott’s girlfriend to post something?
Later, Khloe and Kourtney went to the laundromat that they heard Shorty worked at, but unfortunately it was closed. Khloe asked someone if they had seen Shorty, but they were not interested in talking to her. Because she was determined to find Shorty, she kept asking around and passing out flyers. After a while, Khloe ran across a couple of people that recognized him. Even though she didn’t find Shorty that day, Khloe felt like she was making some progress.
Back in Malibu, Addison was teaching Kim a TikTok dance. Kim was convinced that even though she wasn’t a dancer, Addison could make her look good. Khloe cheered Kim on from the sidelines. Kim was trying her best to follow Addison, but she didn’t feel like she was doing a good job. However, she was soaking it all in and was going to practice at home by herself. Khloe thought she did a great job considering it was her first time.
NW: She came home and practiced this dance and I didn’t know what was going on. I thought she was having a medical emergency. I panicked and had the Malikas grab the first aid kit.
Scott Disick 'Hurt' Seeing Kourtney Kardashian Date Other Men
View StoryLater, the family was sitting poolside with Trevor on watch. Kourtney had Trevor put up an umbrella and give them sunscreen. The girls were also asking him questions about his body. Scott thought that Trevor was hired more as a gigolo than a lifeguard. It was clear that Scott was getting a little jealous. Scott admitted that he didn’t think that the little thing inside of him with Kourtney will ever go away.
Kourtney eventually told Trevor that he was doing a trial run because they all have kids and they would be arriving the next day. Kris and Scott speculated on why Kourtney took so long to tell him that she had kids.
NW: I told the lifeguard he had to sign an NDA.
At Kim’s house, Khloe gave Kim an update on Shorty. Production was with him and he was doing his third COVID test before Khloe would meet up with him the next day. Someone who Khloe gave a flyer to contacted her and gave her Shorty’s number, so she was going to FaceTime him. Khloe and Kim were nervous and wondered if he would remember them.
During the FaceTime call, Shorty totally remembered the girls and he looked the same as he did all those years ago. Shorty was going to Khloe’s house for lunch the next day, so Khloe asked him if there was anything in particular he wanted to eat. Shorty was down with whatever. Khloe was happy that he was happy and COVID-free. Khloe and Kim were excited that they were going to see him face to face and they wanted to make sure he was comfortable.
Back in Malibu, Kim and Khloe talked to Scott about Kourtney’s interaction with the lifeguard and wanted to know if it was difficult for Scott. Scott said he has different expectations for him and Kourtney’s life, but it’s one sided. Scott played the role of a husband and treated her like his wife, but in return he didn’t get much of anything from Kourtney. It sucked for him. He knew deep down they loved each other, but to see her flirt with another guy will always strike a jealousy bone in his body. In his perfect world he and kourtney would end up together and raise their family, but it was complicated.
Kim told Scott that if he started to make himself not so available and stop answering her calls, Kourntey would flip. Khloe agreed and said that if Scott actually held strong Kourtney would start to wonder about what she lost. Khloe and Kim felt bad because they couldn’t help Scott. They thought that Scott needed to start talking to Kourtney about these things. He said he and Kourtney do have conversations about ending up together but Kourtney kept putting it off. Scott wanted to know what they were doing.
At Khloe’s house, Shorty showed up for lunch. The girls were so excited to catch up with him because it had been 13 years since they saw him. Khloe introduced Shorty to Tristan and Shorty was not impressed. He wanted alone time with Khloe.
NW: Shorty as True’s step-dad does make for an interesting plot line. I’ll run it past Kris.
Kourtney Confronts Kim and Khloe Over Their 'Obsession' with Addison Rae Friendship
View StoryThe girls found out that Shorty was working at the laundromat, but because of COVID it closed permanently. He wasn’t sure where he wanted to work next, but he was trying to get an apartment of his own. He was determined to be independent. They also found out that Shorty has a son. Shorty was surprised to find out that the girls were now mothers themselves. Khloe FaceTimed Kris and Shorty got to talk to Kris and Kylie. Kylie was a little girl the last time Shorty saw her.
The girls wanted to surprise Shorty with a specific, rent controlled apartment so that Shorty could have a chance to make it on his own.
Back in Malibu, the family gathered for dinner. Kim brought up the topic of Kourtney and Scott getting backing together. Scott said that he stood wherever Kourtney stood. Khloe asked if they could have a Kourtney and Scott wedding. Everyone thought it would be epic. Kris even pushed for him to propose on the spot.
The family was semi-joking, but since this is the first time in a long time that both Scott and Kourtney have been single Scott was thinking it was the time to be vulnerable. Scott told Kourtney he loved her and he was ready to marry her at that very moment. He said that Kourtney knew that eventually they would get married and have a good life. Kourtney said he needed to work on himself. Everyone was intrigued to know what exactly Kourtney needed Scott to do, especially Scott. Kourtney declined to answer and said that it was a separate conversation. She was feeling really ambushed, so she didn’t know how to react. She didn’t feel like it was everyone’s business. Tristan campaigned the hardest for Scott, but Kourtney thought he was just doing that so that Scott would campaign for him.
There was a time when the whole family would tell Kourtney the last person you want to be with is Scott, and now the whole family wanted them back together. Scott thought that was the most flattering most beautiful thing he could hear and it’s tough that Kourtney has no reaction. Kourtney said that the thought of marrying Scott gives her anxiety because of the past.
NW: Kris has been pitching a “Scott and Kourtney fairytale wedding” to E! for years. She’s got Vera Wang on standby for the day Auntie Kourt finally starts thinking about the brand and not herself for once.
Later, Kim let Addison and Kourtney know that she had given up on the TikTok dance because she’s just not good and that’s okay. SKIMS worked so well because it’s super true to who Kim is, and TikTok dances just aren’t for her. Kim can come up with another campaign.
NW: I pulled the plug on that TikTok idea. I know she’s going through a lot, but that doesn’t mean we flush the brand down the toilet.
Scott and Kourtney sat down to talk in the backyard. Scott revealed to Kourtney that it annoyed him when she flirts with the lifeguard. Kourtney assured him that she was not flirting with him. Scott went on to say that seeing her around any guy bothers him. It was his insecurity. It hurt him to see her in a relationship with someone else and having to see pictures of her with her past boyfriend made him upset and sad. Since she was single he didn’t have to worry about any of that, but the fear is that if she started dating again it would go back to feeling bad again. It was hard for him. Since they were both single he said they either figure out creating their own lives together or separately. They spend 90% of their lives together but they sleep in separate houses. He was no longer cool with everything being in limbo.
Scott was okay with Kourtney doing whatever she wanted, if she could just make a final decision on whether or not he and she were going to try to be a family again. That way he could move on and he could deal with her being with other people. He didn’t want to give her an ultimatum or push her, but her answer is never a “no” and she leaves the door open so he has expectations that never seem to get met.
Kourtney appreciated Scott’s vulnerability, but she felt like he was putting a lot of pressure on her. She didn’t think that was fair. She said she wasn’t lonely and she was happy where she was, but Scott said he wasn’t happy.
In Kourtney’s mind her, Scott and their kids were always going to be a family, but Scott wanted more. At the end of the night after they take care of their children, Scott thought sleeping separately seemed stupid if they could just work things out. They do everything together, but the intimacy part and the people they are intimate with are jealous of Scott and Kourtney’s close relationship. Scott told Kourtney he loves her, so it’s difficult. Kourtney maintained that she and Scott have had private conversations about what needs to happen for them to be together to even be a possibility and those things haven’t happened. Her answer wasn’t going to change unless his actions changed. Scott was losing faith that they would end up together.
NW: I refuse to let us take this storyline to HULU. This has to end here. Our audience is no longer interested in this. It’s clear that Auntie Kourt is dating Travis Barker and that Scott is dating Lisa Rinna’s baby girl. Let’s all just move on.
At Kim’s house, Paris Hilton showed up to shoot a SKIMS campaign. In the early 2000s Kim and Paris used to rock velour tracksuits on a daily basis. When they would go out they would attract a lot of paparazzi, so Kim wanted to create that era for her latest SKIMS campaign.The shoot was a lot of fun for Kim and they got some amazing pictures. Kim’s advice was, “stay true to who you are and the magic will happen, you can’t force anything”.
At Khloe’s house, the girls Facetimed Shorty. They missed him and wanted to check on him since they had set him up with his own apartment. He was well and thanked them immensely for his apartment. He was emotional because he was finally getting a place of his own. The girls didn’t want their relationship with him to end and they wanted to help him as much as they could. They wanted him to feel safe and comfortable.
NW: I wonder if they can find Addison Rae a home.