DWTS Premiere 5th Judge: Selma Blair Moves Everyone to Tears -- Plus, Vinny ... Dances?

She quickly introduced her “co-host and long-time friend” to the stage. Right away, the energy he brought just felt so much more natural. Tyra always seems like she’s on a runway going for fierce, so everything just comes across as forced. In his first few seconds as host, Alfonso was relaxed and engaging, which bodes well for this casting decision.

But don’t worry, Tyra still made a bonehead error all by herself, when midway through the show she announced the wrong couple at the top of the leaderboard. That’s not such a big deal, but when corrected, she even had to verify who the celeb’s professional partner is -- which we’ve all known for a while now. Do ya homework, girl!

It was also a bit heavy-handed that she had to pointedly remark on the representation of having new professional dancer Koko Iwasaki. We get it, but the whole moment just felt a little awkward. Let’s let her be a great dancer first and focus on that so we’re not reducing her to that representation from the jump. She brings a lot of great energy to her first big night.

Meanwhile, up in the skybox, Alfonso was incredible with the cast interviews and banter. Thank goodness, they took this away from Tyra, who could not have been more awkward in these segments during her time hosting solo. Who knows, if Alfonso had joined sooner, maybe ABC would have hung onto the show.

With no commercials, the show was able to offer not only extended interview segments and judges’ commentary, but we also got to see the pros from the troupe come out and show us how these dances are supposed to look. We’d get that occasionally on ABC, but here’s hoping it’s a staple on Disney+, because it really does help to see that comparison.

Interestingly, considering it is a streaming show, they were very strictly adhering to that two-hour block, which meant they were rushed at times. We get you don’t want to go on forever, but what is the rush to get off the air in two hours?

For the theme of this week, the celebs were tasked with picking a song that gets them motivated to get up and get moving, since this is the big Season 31 premiere dance party. It's also worth noting that "DWTS" is not making these dances available online (for now), because they apparently really want people to take advantage of their $1.99 signup offer for Disney+. Hopefully, this will change as the season progresses.

Fair warning, since I'm safe at home, I'm probably going to be a little harsher than my colleagues Carrie Ann Inaba, Len Goodman, Derek Hough and Bruno Tonioli. But I might be nicer, too. Maybe.

It was a fun way to kick off a new season on a new network, as we got a dance performance tour from the ABC Studios water tower through the studio lot, Disneyland and all things Walt Disney before finally making our way to the “DWTS” ballroom.

We got spotlights on this season’s professional dancers, reminding us why we loved them before we see how they fare with their new partners. It’s a great reminder of how great these dancers all are when they’re in their element and not partnered with someone who may not be as strong. They’re the pros for a reason!

(Cha-Cha-Cha - “I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me),” Whitney Houston) Jordin definitely petered out at the end, stutter-stepping the final few moves and then not fully extending that final leg lift. But she had a great personality throughout the dance and otherwise had great extensions. What she needs to do, though, is dig a little deeper with her knees and settle more into the groove. All of her movements were a little bit smaller and tighter than they needed to be, but as soon as she gets a little more confident and comfortable, she’ll lock in that precision and give us the more we’re looking for. For a first-ever dance, though, this was sensational.

Judges Scores: 7, 6, 6, 7

My Score: 6

(Fox Trot - “Hold Me Closer,” Elton John & Britney Spears) What helped Sam step into something so different was that he and Cheryl have actually known each other a few years, which should help with chemistry and trust. This performance was just sweet from start to finish. There was such affection from each to the other, and it permeated the dance. Yes, Sam’s moves weren’t quite all there and he lacked the grace and fluidity of the fox trot, but he was doing the moves, he was getting through the steps, which is a statement in itself. He just needed to move more delicately from moment to moment, and not be quite as stiff in his carriage.

Judges Scores: 5, 5, 5, 5

My Score: 4

(Cha-Cha-Cha - “Lady Marmalade,” Labelle) Heidi has no ballroom dance training, but she was a competitive dancer in her younger years, and she’s been a part of the culture with her daughters. But how will that translate to the big show? It meant that she knows how to move, how to hold the rhythm and how to look like she’s having a good time. Confidence can go a long way to hide things like uncertainty in foot positioning or exactly where the arms should go, which she had just a few times. All in all, we’d say she made a command return to competitive dancing with this one.

Judges Scores: 6, 6, 6, 6

My Score: 5

(Tango - “Barbra Streisand,” Duck Sauce) Deaf since he was born, Daniel was determined to show the world that deaf people can feel music and dance as well as any hearing person. He definitely proved that he can feel the beat and was on point as a strong partner, present for Danielle. But he also lumbered a bit through some of the moves, stalking like Frankenstein’s monster rather than a lupine panther on the prowl. His upper body was much better positioned than his feet. The good news is that now that he confidently knows he can be where he needs to be when he needs to be there, it’s time for the finesse and fine-tuning of technique.

Judges Scores: 7, 6, 7, 7

My Score: 6

(Cha-Cha-Cha - “Sweet Home Alabama,” Lynyrd Skynyrd) Hopefully, Jessie has improved since childhood where she said she was actually kicked out of dance class, with the teacher saying, “This may not be for her.” But music is in her blood, so the rhythm is there. If they could pull off that ending move with Jessie even landing on his knee with her legs crossed, the potential for this couple is through the roof. She had an incredible amount of attack -- and a bit too much face -- for a first dance out of the gate. The problem was that her nerves/energy was perhaps a bit overwhelming, meaning the moves went a little wild at times. If she can harness that energy into confidence and technique focus, she could go very far because the root is there.

Judges Scores: 5, 5, 5, 5

My Score: 5

(Tango - “We Found Love,” Rihanna f. Calvin Harris) After a prison sentence and newly married, Teresa said she’s hoping that doing “DWTS” will allow people to meet the real Teresa Giudice. We’re not gonna lie, even though it was corny as hell, we still loved that they recreated her most infamous “Housewives” moment with a table flip at the top of the number, though it would have been nice to put some acting in this and have it maybe start as an angry tango -- there can be passion from anger, after all. Once the actual dance started, it was borderline atrocious. Teresa barely hit her mark from beat to beat, much less the actual steps. She looked like she was completely lost, just being led around very, very slowly by Pasha. He did what he could to tee this one up for her, but it was still too much. She wasn’t fully present throughout.

Judges Scores: 5, 5, 5, 5

My Score: 3

(Cha-Cha-Cha - “She’s a Bad Mama Jama (She’s Built, She’s Stacked),” Carl Carlton) One of the contestants that has fans frustrated, as Wayne is an all-around entertainer with dance experience, but it’s more of the Broadway vein than ballroom. That means the technique and even the postures he’s used to don’t always translate -- and muscle memory can be hard to forget. He did a great job, though, of transitioning into this style, just as Whitney gave some good groove in the breakdown. We do have to say that we found ourselves drawn more to her throughout, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But it did show that her commitment to the actual dance moves was more there, while he was just overall bringing the energy. It’s time to harness that into each style.

Judges Scores: 7, 7, 7, 8

My Score: 7

(Cha-Cha-Cha - “Got to Give It Up,” Marvin Gaye) At 71 years old, this “Angel” is the oldest member of the cast (and at 50, Louis is the oldest pro), but she’s got movement and musicality much more than you might expect. She was a bit slower in the dance, with the track setting the tempo, but had a pretty solid swivel, even if the hip action itself could use a little loosening up. Her footwork was pretty intricate, and again we appreciated her ankles and placement. She has an overall fluidity to her movement and really looks like she might have a natural ability for this kind of dance. It was definitely a strong and impressive debut.

Judges Scores: 6, 5, 5, 5

My Score: 6

(Salsa - “Tití Me Preguntó,” Bad Bunny) Vinny knew where he needed to be for the most part, which is about the best thing we can say about this dance. It was Koko’s first time as a pro partner, so she may need to work on her teaching as well. But with no experience save fist-pumping, we’re not sure another pro could have done better. He was very heavy on his heels, stepping with leaden feet through this, and his chest/frame was as if he was wearing a thick brace on his entire torso. It was all just too stiff and when he wasn’t pumping, it was a huge mess.

Judges Scores: 4, 4, 5, 4

My Score: 2

(Salsa - “When I Grow Up,” Pussycat Dolls) Even though Shangela is a drag queen with she/her pronouns, out of drag, he uses he/him pronouns. That makes this kind of the first male/male partnership in “DWTS” history. Shangela performs in full drag, but as that look takes hours to pull together, rehearsals are most definitely out of glam. In the actual performance, Shangela definitely knows how to work a room, but she needs to work on hitting all of that footwork and getting more swivel in those hips. Put a little more precision into the technique and Shangela could quickly become a front-runner.

Judges Scores: 7, 7, 7, 7

My Score: 7

(Quickstep - “Dancing with Myself,” Billy Idol) Trevor isn’t afraid to fly or skydive or ride a motorcycle, but shared with Emma that dance is his biggest fear. It’s certainly a challenge most contestants don’t face. It was pretty clever of her to work his fear and uncertainty into the choreography so she could actually coach and teach (well, sort of) throughout the piece, as well. We kind of enjoyed his exasperated terror throughout, as it added an element of fun. He was flopping his arms in and out recklessly and holding fiercely to his body at times, so his upper body was a mess. The footwork, though, was actually recognizable. This is a tough style to get out of the gate, and he did a solid job of keeping up with it and Emma.

Judges Scores: 5, 5, 5, 6

My Score: 5

(Jive - “As It Was,” Harry Styles) Gabby did dance through high school and was an NFL cheerleader for five years, but she considers herself more of a performer than a technical dancer. She perhaps had a little too much verve in the dance, and ironically enough, not quite enough bounce in her steps. She does have a great performance energy, and there were moments where her carriage was nice, but her strength is definitely in her feet and legs. She got the right lift and height, matching Val perfectly, and really kept in there with him from start to finish. There were some technique moments that were off here and there, but it was a startlingly strong first outing.

Judges Scores: 7, 7, 7, 7

My Score: 7

(Jive - “Pump It,” Black Eyed Peas) Once again, Daniella is very creative in her choreography -- which helped her win last season with Iman Shumpert. This time, it’s a bodybuilder physique she’s working with, and yet she got some good movement out of Joseph. He is still a bit too heavy on the jive, and he needs to work on awareness of both legs and arms at the same time. A couple of times, he was so focused on his footwork that his arm was just kind of flopping for a few moments, and other points it was his feet flopping. And he needs to make sure he follows through completely with each movement and extension. For a non-dancer, though, he had some very nice moments.

Judges Scores: 6, 5, 6, 6

My Score: 5

(Cha-Cha-Cha - “Get Lucky,” Daft Punk f. Pharrell Williams & Nile Rodgers) Jason is not a dancer, and he definitely moved like someone who was not at all comfortable with what was going on out there. He hit poses like his mom told him he’d be grounded if he didn’t (i.e., like he was doing it under protest). There was no pizzazz or even enthusiasm throughout this entire performance. He just kind of walked through it to get it over with (he wasn’t leading with his toes at all), and it really did feel like his quick fist-pump at the end was because it was over. There was very little to like, or even remember, from that.

Judges Scores: 5, 4, 4, 5

My Score: 3

(Viennese Waltz - “The Time of My Life,” David Cook) Selma has speech and movement that comes and goes as she has continued her life with MS since being diagnosed in 2018. It’s actually very sweet that her partner is her real-life neighbor, thus making this process a little easier at least when it comes to being comfortable with her partner. She also doesn’t have feeling in her left leg, which creates another challenge. It was a fearless performance, with incredible grace and dignity. She actually had stellar technique throughout this piece, with great footwork, and her leg extensions are gorgeous. She might struggle more on a faster style, but she was stunning on this one.

Judges Scores: 7, 7, 7, 7

My Score: 7

(Cha-Cha-Cha - “Savage,” Megan Thee Stallion) Like her mother, Charli has a history in competitive dance, but not ballroom. And TikTok dancing pulled her from competitive dancing, and is definitely a different beast altogether. Nevertheless, she came out with so much power and confidence and poise and attack on this piece. There’s no better way to put it, she was all in from the first note, and she’s clearly picking up this technique very quickly. We loved the little flairs she was adding with her arms, like little punctuation marks throughout the piece. She wasn’t just learning a dance style, she was taking it to the next step and making it a piece of performance art.

Judges Scores: 8, 8, 8, 8

My Score: 8

As expected, Charli D’Amelio and Wayne Brady dominated the competition, coming in with the highest scores of the night, followed by a three-way tie that might be a little more surprising with Gabby Windey, Shangela and Selma Blair. Can they keep this momentum going?

While judges’ scores mean a lot, so do the voters at home. That means stars with bigger fan-bases tend to do better with everything else being equal. That doesn’t mean good news for a few of the people toward the bottom of the pack, because even though Vinny Guadagnino had the lowest score, we didn’t think he’d be the first to go.

Jason Lewis was ahead of him by only one point, while Sam Champion, Teresa Giudice and Jessie James Decker were two points ahead of that, and Cherly Ladd and Trevor DOnovan were tied one point ahead of that. Honestly, it felt like any of these seven could be the first to go, so you look at those other factors.

Looking at how it all went down, we had a feeling that the Bottom 2 might come down to Sam Champion and Jason Lewis -- which would probably lead to the judges saving Sam. But what did America do with their first live vote on Disney+?

As the couples were announced safe, it did come down to Teresa, Vinny, Jason and Sam as the last three to find out their fates. Would Vinny’s fans carry him through, despite having the worst score of the night? They absolutely did, so he better earn that love next week.

But America pulled a fast one on us with a huge surprise, as Sam moved into safety as well, leaving Teresa and Jason in the Bottom 2. We have to say, we were surprised that Bravo nation didn’t come out in support of their girl; could this be a sign of more surprises to come on the streamer?

Two points from the judges separated this Bottom 2, though we had them both tied for our second-worst scores of the night (with 3 points each). Of the two, though, Teresa at least looked like she wanted to be there and was willing to try, while Jason looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. So he’d be our choice to go.

It was a clean sweep from the judges with Teresa getting the save, making Jason Lewis the first casualty of Season 31. It also means that Peta Murgatroyd’s return after one season away was only one episode. Maybe we’ll see her in some group numbers or something as the season progresses!

“Dancing with the Stars” continues as the first-ever live streaming reality show every Monday at 8 p.m. ET on Disney+.