Trista Sutter Says She 'Lost' Herself Being A Mom & Touches On Husband's Cryptic Posts (Exclusive)

In an interview with TooFab at FOX's Winter Press Day, The Bachelorette alum explained why feeling like she "lost" herself being a mom led to her deciding to join the military training reality series.

Trista -- who shares son Maxwell, 17, and daughter Blakesley, 15, with husband Ryan Sutter -- revealed that she initially declined the offer to appear on Special Forces, and shared why she changed her mind.

"'How could you be so crazy?' You know, at first, I said no. Not to the producers at FOX, to my agent," she told TooFab. "I was like, This is probably not the show for me. It's for my husband. He would love to do this show. And then I got to thinking more about it and talked to Ryan a lot about it and realized that I am at a time in my life where I've given so much to my family."

"You know, my kids are ... two years, three years away from leaving and making Ryan and I empty nesters," continued Trista, 52. "And I'm so proud of them. You know, obviously, you do that for your kids because you want them to soar, you know. But, I have poured myself into my life as a mom for almost 18 years. And so I don't know who I am anymore. You know, you kind of get lost in that, lost in taking care of other people."

The Bachelor alum said she ultimately decided to do the show for herself.

"I wanted to remind myself, like, who I am and that I can do hard things and that I wanted to show them that your mom is brave, actually, and she doesn't just, you know, fold your laundry," Trista said with a laugh, before adding, "And but it's an amazing once in a lifetime opportunity so you know, of course, I had to say yes."

And while she can't share details about exactly went down on the show, she admitted that she reached her "breaking point" more than once.

"I feel like everyone has those moments on this show," Sutter said. "You have lots of breaking points because how can you not? You're doing things that, you know, not a lot of people get to experience and that are designed to push you to your limits, right?"

As for how she was able to push through the difficult moments, she shared, "I think just thinking about my family and knowing that going into the show, I wanted to make them proud. You know, that was part of it."

"I heard a great quote before I started from the medic," she recalled. "He said, 'Be naive enough to start and stubborn enough to finish.' And I'm pretty stubborn."

Meanwhile, also during her interview with TooFab, Trista addressed her husband Ryan's cryptic posts he shared earlier this year -- which subsequently made headlines.

Back in May, Ryan, 50, shared a handful of posts on Instagram, in which he discussed his wife's apparent absence in the captions. The posts sparked rumors about why Trista was away from her family, including speculation that she and Ryan were having marriage troubles.

Last month, Trista confirmed reports that her mysterious absence was due to her filming Special Forces.

While speaking with TooFab, Trista reacted to the wild speculation and rumors from May, sharing that she just recently went back and re-read her husband's posts that blew up.

"You can lay the rumors to rest. It's not cryptic anymore," she said, before adding of Ryan's messages. "When you read it back, everything is in perspective. In context if you know that I was away filming this show, it completely makes sense. But, of course, out of context, everyone's like, 'Ah! Are they getting a divorce? Is she going through a nervous breakdown?'"

"And kind of I did, but, you know, because I'm on the show," Trista continued, referring to the "intense" reality series. "He just meant it to shout it from the rooftops that he missed me, and he loved me, and that's what I focused on."

Check out TooFab's full interview with Trista at the top of this post to see more, including the reality star revealing the advice she received from a fellow Bachelor Nation and Special Forces alum!

In addition to Trista, among the other 15 recruits who will be competing in Season 3 of the reality series are Denise Richards, Brody Jenner, Cam Newton, Stephen Baldwin, Carey Hart, and more.

During the show’s five-week run of two-hour episodes, fans will watch the celebrities attempt the "harshest, most grueling challenges from the playbook of the actual Special Forces selection process" while training in Wales, England, per FOX. There are no votes or eliminations in the series.

This season will continue the tradition of nail-biting challenges, with a bit of a twist, as this group of stars will try their hand at a number of different tasks, including "a high pressure hostage rescue, a treacherous ladder crossing between steep cliffs nearly 100 ft above the sea, a boat dunk drill where they will be submerged into the frigid ocean and tasked with performing essential survival duties, a surf immersion where they will have to control their panic in an exercise that takes them to the brink of drowning, and much more."

Season 3 of Special Forces: World's Toughest Test premieres January 8 on FOX.