Pete Davidson Details Being in 'Trouble' with NBCU Over Decision to Cancel Bupkis, Why He Did It

"I got really tired of my whole career just being my personal life," the Saturday Night Live alum said during a recent appearance on The Breakfast Club, citing the obsession in the public and tabloids about his "big d--k energy" after then-fiancée Ariana Grande talked about it in 2018 as just one example.

That led Davidson to some growing personal discomfort with his popular Peacock series Bupkis, which was semi-autobiographical. Talking about his decision to pull the plug after just one season, Davidson admitted "I got in trouble for it" with NBCUniversal.

He explained that while he "loved" making the show, it became difficult to explore facets of his real life on the screen. "Living through that is sort of traumatic -- not to be lame -- but it's traumatic to live in your own crap all the time," he explained.

He explained that after "nearly a decade of my personal life being in the media," he really wanted "a chance to tell my story my way." While one might think that having a semi-autobiographical show about your life might be the perfect format to do that, Davidson explained that things started to change when a new collaborator joined.

"This new person came and was like: ‘I think Pete should be banging Martha Stewart this season, I think Pete should have more mental issues,'" Davidson recalled. "And I was like, ‘Oh, but I wouldn’t do that.’ And they were like, ‘Well, Pete the character [would].’ And I was like, ‘I can’t do this.'"

After watching his personal life outside of his comedy come to dominate much of his experience on SNL, the actor also admitted thinking, "If I want any shot in being in real movies or being seen a certain way, I can’t just play myself all the time and be this sack."

As for NBCUniversal's response to his decision to pull the plug, Davidson admitted, "They were not pleased." He then asked, "Have you seen me in any NBCUniversal [project since]?"

"I cost people jobs and I took care of the writers’ room and anyone who didn’t get paid that needed to, I took care of it -- which also hurt," Davidson continued. "But, it’s funny, you work for a company for over a decade -- I’m pretty sure I brought in a lot of money, worked hard on that show, was a good boy, like promoting and whatnot. It made me realize a lot about the business, like hey, I’m probably gonna die if I have to keep doing this and that’s a problem."

He said that the reaction was a bit of an eye-opening experience, saying it "did kind of open my eyes where it’s just like, ‘Oh, no one actually cares about you.’ Studios, networks -- they don’t really care about you. They want you to do the thing, which I get."

"Now it’s all good, but there was a time where it wasn’t," Davidson admitted of the time it took him to come to terms with the fallout, insisting things are "cool" now between him and the studio.

For a time, he thought it might be the end of his career altogether, but things turned around for him, and he's starting to be able to explore roles that are not Pete Davidson or Pete Davidson-adjacent. The actor can currently be seen in The Pickup with Eddie Murphy and Keke Palmer. Next up, he stars in How to Rob a Bank alongside Nicholas Hoult.

While his career is finally moving in a direction outside of his very public persona, Davidson laments that he can't fully escape that interest in who he is, what he's doing, and especially who he's doing it with.

Elsewhere in the interview, he talked about his guilt after his girlfriend Elsie Hewitt announced on Instagram that she was pregnant with his child -- just because it pulls her more firmly into his tabloid existence. "I feel bad for my girl because I bring a lot of s--t," he said.

"Anything I do or she does now is gonna be a thing," he added, anticipating public scrutiny on every step of their pregnancy journey. He lamented that Hewitt "is a very private person" and that this is "supposed to be a beautiful experience," but he fears that his particular brand of fame won't allow that to happen.

"She’s never made me feel this way or said anything," he said. "but I feel so guilty and horrible that I could not allow her to have the ideal pregnancy that almost every woman gets to have and enjoy."

Despite the public scrutiny, the happy couple is looking forward to welcoming a child together. Speaking with E! News last month, Davidson said, "I’m very lucky and very, very happy," adding that he's looking forward to showing his child "the childhood I didn't have."