Sonja yells at Dorinda, who gets into it with Bethenny, as Luann comes for Ramona, who then attacks Tinsley. This episode is bananas.
The ladies were still on their spa weekend getaway on Wednesday's "Real Housewives of New York," but things were far from zen.
Five separate feuds broke out during the same meal, so we broke them down into easy-to-follow blurbs below. Enjoy.
Bethenny vs. Tinsley
When Tinsley Mortimer's mom was in town on a previous episode, the two decided to go wedding dress shopping. Tinsley was not engaged at the time (nor is she now), so Bethenny Frankel asked her if she had secret plans with her then-boyfriend, Scott, to tie the knot. She said no. She "just wanted to try on fun dresses." Bethenny struggled to understand Tinsley's thought process, as did the other women.
"You know what it's like? It's like going to try out coffins," Bethenny yelled from across the table. "If I saw someone trying on coffins, I would think they had--"
"Cancer!" Sonja Morgan yelled from across her end of the table. Tinsley was not happy, telling Bethenny it was an "odd choice" to make the coffin comparison.
"It's an odd choice to hear that you're trying on wedding dresses to ask if you're gonna get married?!" Bethenny fired back. Tinsley got defensive, saying she could do whatever she "damn well" pleases. Bethenny was literally screaming at this point: "I said are you getting married! Why? Because you were trying on wedding dresses!"
During her confessional, Carole Radziwill threw some shade Bethenny's way, saying, "Bethenny was dating Dennis about two weeks before we were both at Harry Winston looking at engagement rings, so back it up a little."
Sonja vs. Dorinda
Sonja and Dorinda Medley ended up in each others' faces and at each others' throats shortly after Bethenny nearly lost her voice yelling at Tinsley.
Last week, Sonja was sporting the Morgan family crest on her slippers, which Dorinda felt was odd since the Morgans were Sonja's family by a marriage that ended in divorce. The topic came up again this week -- and Sonja snapped.
"What the f--k?!" Sonja yelled as she stood up and her chair went flying. "Are you f--king kidding me?! That's my family! Are you going there?! Are you f--king going there?! Are you f--king kidding?! What do you care about my family?! OH. MY. GOD."
Keep in mind there were other patrons at this restaurant.
"I didn't say it's not your family! You wanna raise your voice?!" Dorinda finally yelled back as she stood up out of her chair. The two ended up in each other's faces, and the screaming continued.
Luann de Lesseps chimed in from the corner, "In jail they're better behaved."
Dorinda vs. Bethenny
While Dorinda and Sonja were having it out, Bethenny interjected. "Why do you care?!" she yelled across the table at Dorinda. Dorinda ended up apologizing to Sonja, saying, "I apologize to you, Sonja. We're on a good path, and I want to stay on a good path. So I won't ever bring it up again. I've been so proud of you moving out, and I just want you to stay present because you're doing so well being present. And you're so strong, and your achievements on your own are fantastic."
"What are you doing?" Bethenny interrupted Dorinda. "You're acting like her therapist. You're acting like you have the authority over everything."
"I'm apologizing!" Dorinda fired back. "I guess you're the only one that can apologize, right? Oh, no. That's right. You don't."
"Thanks, Dorinda, you spend 30 percent of every dining and alcohol experience standing up and slurring inaudible insults towards this woman," Bethenny later said during a confessional. "Who the f--k are you to be telling her you're proud?"
Luann vs. Ramona
Luann then seized the opportunity to come for Ramona Singer, who last week posted a photo of the group with the caption, "The gang's all here," which sent Lu's PR team into a frenzy. Luann had not even informed her family that she was back from rehab when Ramona posted the photo, which showed wine glasses on the table.
"I thought it was a beautiful picture. You didn't tell me not to post. I didn't get the f--king memo," Ramona replied.
"And you didn't get the memo that you shouldn't call Tom and go to his party for New Year's Eve?" Luann savagely clapped back. "These are hurtful things. You're hurting me. You put pictures out. Now guess what? Luann is the talk of the town now. Again."
Bethenny helped explain to Ramona why Luann was upset until Ramona seemingly got it. "Ohhhhh, shit! That's f--ked up!" Ramona exclaimed before she started crying. Luann wasn't buying it.
"And then people tell me you're out and about, you're at The Regency, you're out having drinks with Tom and his entourage," Lu continued. "That's not cool. If you're my friend, that's not cool."
Ramona later told Bravo cams, "If I couldn't talk to every man that Luann ended up being with, I wouldn't be talking to any man in New York City."
Ramona vs. Tinsley
Ramona continued to shed "crocodile tears" (as Sonja calls them) while telling Luann she had no idea that her actions were hurting her.
"Maybe I'm socially inept," Ramona said. Then Tinsley chimed in: "But that's no excuse. You can't just say that and think it's OK. You say it thinking it's gonna clear you from what you've done."
"I didn't say it was OK, Tinsley!" Ramona fired back. "I didn't say it was gonna clear me! What I did was really terrible!"
Tinsley then brought up Ramona getting drinks with Tom, but Ramona said she was actually getting drinks with Harry, Tom's friend who spoke poorly about Luann after their divorce. Lu lost her marbles and left the dinner.
"The Real Housewives of New York" airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.