'America's Got Talent' 5th Judge: America Keeps Making Lame, Predictable Choices

Who do I think I am? you ask. Well, I spent nearly a decade of my life sweating and bleeding to the music as a dancer. From a young boy learning a shuffle-ball-change to performing with the St. Louis Ballet Company, I experienced the ups and downs of one of the most difficult physically demanding sports on the planet. During this time, I was also a member of the St. Louis Symphony Youth Orchestra, as well as a gymnast, writer and cartoonist. I had a lot more energy in my younger years. And I've spent the last fifteen years analyzing and critiquing reality competition shows for various media publications. I've got this.

It's a good thing these guys already have a show in Vegas because I wouldn't have put them through the first round of this show. The see-saw stunt was just done over and over and over again, and then that was the case with every stunt we saw. Flipping another guy with your feet is cool but do it eight times and that's all you do and I'm bored. And the fake elephants that did nothing at all? What is this show and how can I never get tickets to it?

Immediately, I was a little annoyed that three from my top seven made it into the 5th/6th/7th slots that compete for the final two positions in the semi-finals. The Top Five vote-getters automatically advance (see those below). I suspect that Johnny Manual, who I had in the eighth slot, scored better with viewers. But I enjoyed The Masqueraders and Eric Jones apparently much more than America as I placed them fourth and third, respectively. Evie Claire joined them awaiting the second vote and judges' save.

Obviously, since Evie Claire is a young singer and America is totally predictable when it comes to kid singers, she got the vote from the viewers at home. That left The Masqueraders and Eric Jones to vie for love from the judges, and of course Howie sent it to a tie and it reverted back to America's original vote. In what I see as an upset, magician Eric Jones advanced, sending The Masqueraders home.

I had a better week overall with my picks, even with three of my Top 7 dropping into the Dunkin' Save category. My 8th and 9th slot finishers, Celine Tam and Johnny Manuel, advanced because ALL YOUNG SINGERS ADVANCE FOR SOME REASON DAMMIT CAN WE KNOCK IT OFF WITH THIS?! Since The Pompeyo Family dogs don't sing, they didn't advance, joining escapist Demien Aditya, dancers Brobots & Mandroidz, and whatever-the-hell-their-act-is Mirror Image on the slow ride home.

Joining Tam and Manuel in the Top 5 was singer Mandy Harvey and dance acts Light Balance and Merick Hanna. At least Jones advanced so it's not just singing and dancing.

Last week, five of seven acts were singing, but only four of the seven were singers this week. Wait, that's still pretty stupid because more than half of the semi-finalists so far are singers. I can't even blame the judges anymore for this, but rather America. Aren't there enough singing competitions on television? This is supposed to be a variety show, so where's the variety, America? It's not "America's Got Singing Talent." Get it together!

"America's Got Talent" continues twice a week, Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET on NBC.