Late-Night Hosts Don't Spare Democrats While Dumping on Trump's State of the Union

They broke down not just the speeches, though, but the fact-checkers, the Trump family response, and even the public's take on the evening. The speech itself was pretty divisive, as evidenced by the near-constant standing ovations from Republicans while Democrats sat stony-faced under the watchful eye of House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi.

Stephen Colbert was so inspired by Trump clapping for himself, that he started doing it during his monologue. Samantha Bee was horrified by what she heard, while Seth Meyers looked to the fact-checkers, and Jimmy Fallon was pretty sure Trump didn't even understand his own words. James Corden, who'd never seen a State of the Union before, just thought the whole spectacle was pretty weird.

"Last night was President Trump's first State of the Union address," Fallon told his audience to kick off his show. "Some people watched it on NBC, some people watched it on CNN, while most people watched it on mute."

It was a long one, clocking in at nearly an hour-and-a-half. "Trump's speech fell 9 minutes short of breaking President Clinton's record for the longest State of the Union," Fallon pointed out. "When he heard that, Trump grabbed the mic and spent 10 minute reading the iTunes User Agreement."

According to Fallon, Trump got a little confused at some of his own talking points. When touting that Americans had built the Empire State building in a year, Fallon said, "Then he ruined it by congratulating Bob the Builder." As for Trump's announcement that he would keep Guantanamo Bay open? "Of course, Trump thinks Guantanamo Bay is a water park at Six Flags," Fallon joked.

James Corden is relatively new to the United States, so this was his first State of the Union address. "Weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life," was his summary review. "There were so many old, white people giving standing ovations, I thought I was watching a Jimmy Buffet concert."

He couldn't help but laugh at the Democrat's choice for response. "They're like, people are tired of the same old politicians, we're going to give them someone new. Here's a Kennedy."

But he summed up his take on the entire thing in one sentence. "Last night was Donald Trump's first State of the Union, hopefully his last."

Stephen Colbert realized he didn't need to look further than Trump himself to see how it went. "One person who thought Donald Trump did a great job was Donald Trump," Colbert said. "At least judging from all the clapping he did during his own speech. I really think they should have turned down his mic during the clapping parts ... and during the talking parts."

But Colbert was so inspired by all that clapping that he started doing it for himself when a joke landed particularly well.

As for that Democrat response, Colbert was focused on the same thing the rest of us were: Joe Kennedy's moist mouth. "I'm pretty sure Kennedy was just so handsome he was making his own mouth water," Colbert speculated.

But if you were able to ignore that, how did his speech go? "In the end, hard to say if it was a good speech because Kennedy did not clap for himself once."

"The speech was interrupted 115 times by applause," Seth marveled about the State of the Union. "And once by the pizza guy."

But if people were enthusiastic about the contents of the speech in the room, they were even more passionate online. "Politifact crashed last night when users logged on to check the validity of Trump's claims during the State of the Union address," Meyers said. "Fortunately, they set up a helpful error message."

At this, Meyers put up a 404 Error graphic that simply read, "He's probably lying."

Samantha Bee didn't quite get the speech she was promised. "Rumor had it this would be an optimistic glass is half full type speech, and it was, assuming that glass is half full of cyanide and I get to drink it," she said.

"It's not surprising that Trump got non-stop stink faces from the left side of the room. His speech contained very little of the promised bipartisanship," she noted.

She broke down his claim that "Americans are dreamers, too," describing it as "a beautiful, proud, thoughtful way to say that you will only help white people."

But Samantha Bee wasn't just coming with the problems she saw in Trump's address. She came with a solution, too. "I'll pay Stormy Daniels $130,000 to say the president has a big dick and isn't afraid of sharks so he doesn't blow up the world."