Evans also doesn't see himself as a hero when it comes to his Regina King moment at the Oscars, saying "the bar is so low."
He's been busy fighting Thanos for the past decade or so... and now he's ready to settle down.
"I really want kids. Yeah, I do. I like pretty pedestrian, domestic things," the 37-year-old told the mag. "I want a wife, I want kids. I like ceremony. I want to carve pumpkins and decorate Christmas trees and shit like that."
Unfortunately, one of his major crushes is already spoken for by one Alex Rodriguez; the "Avengers: Endgame" star admitted as much as he recalled presenting with JLo at the Academy Awards earlier this year.
"I was just thinking, 'Don't be annoying, don't be annoying, shut up Chris, just shut up. Don't be a dickhead. Don't say anything, because you don't know what to say'," he said. "She's been a major crush of mine for so long."
Chris's last public relationship was with Jenny Slate, whom he met on the set of their 2017 drama, "Gifted". He admitted she may have at first, like many others, believed him to be more of a "bro".
"But then she was just like, 'Man, you're not like what I thought you were going to be'." he said. "I can speak fluent bro, but I don't consider myself one. I wear a hat, and I drink beer, and I like sports. But I was a big theater dork in high school, you know what I mean?"
Of course, most of the world knows Evans to also be a gentleman, which was exemplified when at that same Oscars, he was first to react and help Regina King to the stage when her dress got tangled on approach. However, Evans shrugged off the hero status.
"The bar is so low that literally I did a normal thing, like on par with saying 'God bless you' when somebody sneezes, and people thought it was... I don't know," he lamented.
The state of modern day manners aside, Evans had just one more major complaint about the current social climate.
"I love to rollerblade. It's a bummer that rollerblading became uncool, because it's f--king awesome. You have wheels on your fucking feet. Come on! My friends make fun of me, but I fucking love it."
"Avengers: Endgame" is in theaters now.