"He's just closed-minded," Spencer Barney says of Ryan Vieth.
Per usual, lots happened on Tuesday's episode of "The Real Housewives of Orange County," which started at Emily Simpson's daughter's birthday party, which she planned without much help from her husband, Shane.
We can't say we're surprised, but more on them in a sec.
Gina Kirschenheiter apologized for arriving late and explained that she has three kids to take care of on top of the fact that she has to Uber everywhere (her license got suspended after her DUI arrest). No one seemed to mind.
However, tension began to rise when Gina told Emily about the scary moment she had when she found out she was three hours from being arrested at her home in front of her children for missing a court appearance she didn't know she had.
"They would've came to my house and arrested me in front of my children! Put my hands behind my back. I mean, that's terrible," Gina said, to which Emily replied, "I got taken away in an ambulance in front of my kids once."
Gina's face dropped. "Emily is not listening to me. She is not understanding me," she vented to the camera. "You going to seek medical care versus me being handcuffed, loaded into a paddywagon and carted off to the clink? Not exactly the same thing, Em!"
To Emily's face, though, Gina simply made it a point to joke about how she and Shannon Beador were quickly becoming best friends, which Emily didn't seem to like very much.
Gina later vented to newcomer Braunwyn Windham-Burke that Emily kept pressing her about why she didn't want to go on the upcoming group trip to Las Vegas to watch her perform burlesque. Gina didn't understand why Emily, of all people, wouldn't get that her recent DUI and legal issues would affect her desire and ability to party it up in Sin City.
"I'm in the middle of the biggest legal issues I've ever had," she told the camera. "It's clearly not a good look for me to be in Vegas partying. I don't understand how my friend doesn't see what's going on here."
Meanwhile, Kelly Dodd confided in Shannon that she was still upset with Gina for trying to interject during the whole sex train convo in L.A. "If the chick had her life in tact, gimme advice! I'll listen!" Kelly said. "But she's not in any position. DUI, her kids, you know -- everything's falling apart!"
That's when Shannon let Kelly know she was planning a weekend retreat at a wellness center in Arizona for all the ladies, including Vicki Gunvalson, to attend. But that would mean getting Kelly on board, and she was a hard sell.
"Why in the world would Shannon want to bring Vicki? She knows it's gonna be a disaster," Kelly vented to the camera. "Vicki and wellness? That's like oil and water. That shit just doesn't mix!"
On top of her Vicki issues, Kelly was also struggling internally with her strained relationship with her mom. Her brother informed her their mom was sick and weak, prompting Kelly to consider reaching out to her. The two hadn't spoken or seen each other in two years after a fight over an overstayed welcome at Kelly's house.
Over at Tamra Judge's house, the mother of four asked her son, Spencer, if he had spoken to her other son, Ryan, following their off-camera blowup over politics. Spencer's super liberal, and according to Tamra, Ryan's a "fanatic Trump supporter."
"Not really," Spencer replied. "He said I called him a Nazi, which I didn't do, and then he blocked me on Instagram and deleted his accounts. It's not like I did anything, you know? He's just closed-minded. He doesn't even need to apologize. I would like it, though."
When Tamra's husband, Eddie, asked Spencer if he thought the two could ever "get over it," Spencer said, "I think it's just all him. The more open-minded you are, the more understanding you're gonna be, you know?"
Tamra defended Ryan, saying her oldest isn't a bad person and that he wasn't completely happy with who he was, which Spencer mostly agreed with. "He's been in a rut for a long time," he noted. "And...he has daddy issues, I feel."
"Being that you were busy, he didn't really have a lot of people telling him what to do, which is why I feel like he has such a problem with authority," he told his mom, "which is not necessarily his fault."
"It's my fault?" Tamra fired back. "It's my fault."
"No, I'm not saying it's your fault!" Spencer assured her, even though she still felt "guilty" for not giving Ryan the stability he needed when he was growing up. Tamra had him when she was 18.
"The bottom line is you guys are brothers," she said, which Spencer met with, "Half-brothers, yeah."
Later, Tamra and Shannon met up to discuss the logistics of the wellness retreat. Point-blank, Tamra said she was "on Kelly's side" and felt Vicki hadn't "learned anything" since repeating that cocaine rumor last reunion. Shannon was on the same page and the two agreed to speak to Vicki, who Shannon felt was being "delusional."
Vicki inquired about who else would be going on the trip, including "Boring-wyn," meaning Braunwyn. "Somebody said her name was Boring-wyn!" Vicki shouted defensively.
"No, you just said it," Tamra fired back.
"No, I repeated something," Vicki explained, as Shannon tilted her head back in disbelief.
"Vicki can't help herself! She loves to talk shit, and then she's like, 'What?! That's what I heard!'" Tamra told the camera. "This behavior's gotta stop!"
Shannon said she just wanted everyone to go and find healing and that she didn't expect Vicki to emerge as Kelly's BFF. "I just want the low-blow nastiness to stop," she begged. "But part of that nastiness, Vicki, is putting seeds into the universe."
"Listen, I don't want conflict with anybody. I'm at the same place you are, where I want peace, but I'm not gonna be her punching bag or her pin cushion anymore," Vicki replied. "I don't deserve that. I'm not the type of girl that sits back. And neither are you, and neither are you."
Shannon explained that she had just been "that girl" during her confrontation with Emily in L.A., noting that after it was all said and done, Emily was the one who looked like the "dumbass."
Also during this conversation, Tamra revealed she wants her body to be taken to a taxidermist when she dies, "like Build-A-Bear," because she's "too claustrophobic to go into a grave or into a wall or into a vase."
Let that image sink in.
Later, Braunwyn took her mom, Dr. Deb, out to dinner so that she could meet her new friends: Tamra, Shannon and Kelly. When Vicki came up in conversation, Braunwyn called her an "insecure," "reactive" person who "deflects" and "goes below the belt."
Tamra agreed with Braunwyn, but Shannon said their earlier conversation with Vicki felt "encouraging."
Even though Tamra and Shannon assured Kelly they'd have her back in Arizona, Kelly was not thrilled about going. "I don't know if they do exorcisms in Arizona," she told the camera. "I mean, I think that's really what it takes to get Vicki to be a good person. But Vicki is not going to win. I am not gonna back down from this old, washed-up bitch."
And because it wouldn't be an episode of "RHOC" without a cringe-worthy scene between Emily and Shane, here we go...
When Shane got home, Emily pulled out a sexy pair of stilettos she was planning on wearing for her performance in Vegas. Shane couldn't be more disinterested. "They look like the shoes from the Wicked Witch of the West," he said with a chuckle.
She walked over to the living room to put them on, but Shane didn't follow. He stayed in the kitchen eating. "Are you exhausted from putting your shoes on?" he asked from afar.
"Why don't you come over here and talk to me instead of eating in the kitchen?" she said. "Hello? Can you please sit down?"
"Ugh, my goodness," Shane sighed, making his way over to the couch.
"So I'm gonna go to Vegas, and I'm gonna dance!" Emily said excitedly.
"Good for you," he replied. "Looking forward to it."
"You're not gonna be there..." Emily noted. Silence. "So you're gonna take care of the kids when I'm gone?" she asked.
"No, I'm gonna neglect them," he replied. Again, silence.
Eventually, the two started arguing about the 10 days he spent away from home, studying for the bar exam. That's when Emily suggested they seek a "mediator" or "therapist" who can help them better communicate.
"I have trouble with the way that you talk to me sometimes," she said. "I don't like the condescending tone. It's sarcasm all the time. I get tired of being the butt of all your jokes sometimes."
"Tell me you love me," she begged.
"You love me," Shane replied with a laugh.
In his confessional, he said, "I honestly don't believe I'm sarcastic to the degree that Emily says I am. Her choice in using the word 'sarcasm' is just a blanket excuse to cover everything. And sometimes, it's satire."
"You know what satire is?" he asked the off-camera producer, who said he did know the meaning of the word. "It's joking at the expense of others," Shane explained anyway.
"The Real Housewives of Orange County" airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.
Got a story or a tip for us? Email TooFab editors at firstname.lastname@example.org.