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The legendary singer was full of stories from his book and his wild life during an appearance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live," where he also spoke about retiring from touring and what's next.

As much as we love the music of Elton John, we'd probably be willing to buy tickets just to see him tell some of his craziest life stories, as he did on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" Tuesday night.

The legendary artist is currently on his farewell tour, but also on a promotional tour for his new book, "Me." In it, he speaks candidly about all the ups and downs of his life, including some of the hilariously bizarre situations he's found himself in. And yes, in many cases drugs were involved.

When Jimmy Kimmel joked that Elton loved cocaine as much as he loved music during one period in his life, Elton agreed and then stopped and stared at the desk. "Is that a line on there now?" he joked.

He was full of laughs and jokes about his life experience, including one so off-color the NBC censors couldn't let it fly. That came when he talked about his reasons for pouring his wild and crazy life onto the page.

"I wanted to write the book because there have been so many biographies written about me and I wanted to tell my side of the story and so my kids could read it when they’re older," he said, quickly turning to the audience to add, "They’re certainly not reading it now."

At this he jumped into the voice of his kids and said, "Daddy what's [censored]?" Elton's oldest son is eight, while his youngest turns seven in January so they're definitely not ready for a lot of their dad's stories.

And even though they're in the book, there's something magical about the way Elton shares them, which is probably why Jimmy pushed for hi to tell a few for his audience. After all, how many people can say they let Stevie Wonder drive a snowmobile, chucked oranges at Bob Dylan and went on a rant about the wind, demanding that someone come and stop it.

"It’s my life as it happened, I’m ashamed of some of it, I’m proud of some of it," Elton admitted of the contents of his book. "But even though the bad times happened and it took me a long time to get through it, it made me the person I am now, thank God."

As for his farewell tour, Elton insists this is really and truly his last one. When Jimmy reminded him that Cher kicked off her first one in something like 2002, Elton quickly chimed in, "B.C." But he is serious.

"I don’t want to travel anymore. I’ve been traveling since I was 17," he explained. "I have two kids now and a family and I want to spend time now with the family. It’s only right, they need me, I need them. I’ve had enough applause."

But this doesn't mean he's retiring from making music, or even necessarily performing. "I will make records," he insisted. "I will do the occasional show, I think, I’m not sure. I’m not going to stop being creative, but it’s for family reasons I’m doing it. I love those boys and I love my husband and I want to spend time with them."

Check out Elton telling some of his best stories in the clip above, and if you can't get enough, it looks like Elton and Taran Egerton (who portrayed him in "Rocketman") read the audiobook version of the number one bestseller (on Amazon). Give it a read ... or a listen and you may not believe some of what you read (or hear) and yet it's all true!

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View Photos Getty Hollywood Steps Out for Elton John's Academy Awards Viewing Party