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Hello police? I'd like to report multiple murders.
National Roast Day has come and gone, and the casualty report is coming in.
On Wednesday Wendy's took to the internet in its annual tradition of laying waste to fellow companies on the Twitterverse, who in a sick twist, actually asked for the abuse.
All that remained were the scorched corpses of blue ticks, crispier than the fries it purports to make.
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View StoryThus follows the most brutal burns of #NationalRoastDay 2022:
Still the worst tasting yellow liquid. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
Remember when axe was created to just cover up puberty #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
When adding milk makes you taste better, you're doing it wrong. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
Desperation to be culturally relevant is not a gin flavor, but we love the effort. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
If you're looking for a burn, check out your hotdogs. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
I don’t need a $300 headset to help me run into my furniture.
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
You did it. You managed to make a cracker that taste the same 10 years after you open the box. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
The hot dog you have to hide in mac n cheese for even children to eat. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
The saddest part of anyone's layover. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
We're closer to being the first restaurant on Mars than you are being cheese. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
Ok...#NationalRoastDay pic.twitter.com/CKVmF5X8iW
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
Dear women laughing in your yogurt commercials, blink twice if you need help. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
Is this how VINE stars make money now?#NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
You guys aren't even from the best city in Missouri lol #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
Most jobs can be replaced by technology. Yours can be replaced by looking out a window. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
We hope you're better at tagging on the field than you are at tagging on Twitter. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
Let's just put it this way: If we leaked your noods, nobody would notice. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
That pun is as stale as the loose trident at the bottom of my purse #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
Looks like we left it at your neighbor’s door. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
We won't hold back, but maybe you should. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
Was there a joke in your latest commercial or is the joke that you cast Pete Davidson? Either way we’re confused. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
You're going to love our new pink straw. its an extra $2.50 #nationalroastday
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
You’re what parents give their kids to keep them from drinking. #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
Can y'all stop acting like you're different beers and just respond to us once? #NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
Still Overpriced 😉#NationalRoastDay
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 12, 2022 @Wendys
Wendy, long the undisputed queen of Twitter conflagration, was indiscriminate in her destruction, also brutally tearing down any regular person who asked for it.
The company even offered all sacrificial volunteers a free medium fries with a purchase through its app.
"Gotta do something with all this salt," she mused.
RIP.
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