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The former Vanderpump Rules star says that after undergoing therapy she realized a "younger version" of herself chose Sandoval "to try to get some wound healed."
Rachel Leviss is reflecting on her relationship with Tom Sandoval during her latest podcast episode of iHeartRadio podcast, Rachel Goes Rogue.
The 29-year-old reality television star has admitted that getting involved with Sandoval while he was dating their co-star and friend Ariana Madix was "unhealthy" which she has come to realize after attending therapy.
She answered fans who say she has been playing the victim since news about their affair came to the surface.
"I'm doing my very best to take accountability I've done everything I possibly could to change my behavior and learn from my mistakes and I'm not trying to play the sympathy card so you guys can forgive me for my past indiscretions, that's not my motive," she says.
Leviss believes it was her "younger" self who chose to pursue things with Sandoval.
"When I worked in my therapy I realized that when you're choosing men, specifically unhealthy men, it is this younger version of yourself choosing these guys to try to get some wound healed. Some like, something to add up within you," she says.
"And so when that registered in my mind I was like, 'Oh my god, my inner child chose Tom? This 40-year-old? Like, no honey.'"
"When it all played out, a lot of his character came forward and the way that he would talk to my parents, it just seemed like a James 2.0 situation. And I won’t allow that in my relationships anymore. I think family is really important,” she explained.
As Vanderpump Rules gets ready to plate up its Season 11 return after a tumultuous and scandalous Season 10, Rachel Leviss has been tackling some of the issues from the previous season, before the cast does.
This is not the first time the former pageant star has opened up about what she learned from her months-long affair with Sandoval while in therapy.
In last week's episode of her podcast she accused Sandoval of manipulating her.
"The last five minutes of Season 10, you see me break down because I want to come clean and I'm still holding things back because I don't want to betray Tom because he is the one person I have left," she said. "In my world, it seemed like he was the only person. He got me. He understood me. He was there for me in all of this time --- or so I believed."
"[Sandoval] asked me to lie when he knew that I wasn't a good liar and I expressed to him that I don't like lying," she continued. "He put me in a really bad position with my friendships, and this placement of being on this international reality TV show ... my reputation was on the line."
