@TheEllenShow

Happy birthday, Bruce @Springsteen! My staff loves you so much, I call them the E Street Band. Also, when are you coming to my show?

5 days ago

@leannrimes

You know you're kind of "adulting" when you get excited over the new toilet in your house! 😎

5 days ago

@jimmyfallon

I raked some leaves in Ibiza. And wore a sweater 'cause I was cool… #FallSongs

7 days ago

@ConanOBrien

Donald Trump has pledged to create 25 million new jobs. All of them in the profession of fact-checking.

7 days ago

@lenadunham

My only emotional investment in a celebrity relationship is and always has been Danny Devito & Rhea Perlman

8 days ago

@BrandiGlanville

Misery truly does❤️company I've just realized it yet again😓not 1 of us are perfect we all have our faults. Im a mess but Im a happy mess #FU

8 days ago

@BetteMidler

Awww. Angelina and Brad are pfffttt. It's none of my business, as it is none of yours, but I liked them as a couple and am sorry it's over.

8 days ago

@oliviawilde

Reading five Dr Seuss books before 8am does all kind of effed up stuff to your brain for the day, I say, it may, okay?! 😵.

8 days ago

@chrissyteigen

Brad and Angelina. How am I supposed to go to work today ?

8 days ago

@BrandiGlanville

PSA for all chicks Brad Pitt is officially single

8 days ago

@VancityReynolds

I can't tell the difference between meditation and silent inner shrieking.

9 days ago

@RWitherspoon

Congrats @OfficialJLD on your 5th #Emmy for VEEP! You give the best speeches ! Can you get an Emmy for that??

10 days ago

@ConanOBrien

Right before I die, if my life flashes before my eyes, I hope there aren't 30 second ads before each section.

12 days ago

@oliviawilde

So much ❤️ for our GENIUS pre-school teachers who jammed Tribe Called Quest this morning to ensure a smooth drop-off for everyone. 🙌

13 days ago

@lenadunham

I'm trying to stop spending every spare minute & hour in bed because someone told me that's called, like, "depression" or something?

14 days ago

@oliviawilde

NBD, able-bodied 🚇 riders who won't give your seat to a GIANT preggo. I'll just stand riiiiight next to your head and pray I go into labor.

14 days ago

@BetteMidler

I'm not surprised Hillary is sick. After a year of @realDonaldTrump, I'm not feeling that great either! Neither are any thinking people!

16 days ago

@KendraWilkinson

Question everything.

19 days ago

@IMKristenBell

Let's come together this month and make #NoKidHungry a reality. Dine out. Do good. It's that simple. Visit https://t.co/RKVTQsabd7 for info

20 days ago

@ActuallyNPH

The twins' first day of kindergarten. So many feels: excited, nervous, giddy, wistful. But mostly proud. Can't wait to see who they become.

21 days ago