And while viewers may have expected Hawn's foul-mouthed "Snatched" co-star to get the dirtiest, it was actually the 71-year-old actress who had the sauciest stories to tell in the popular "Ellen" segment (above).
From naked selfies to getting caught having sex by the police, it seems like Hawn is a little more sexual than she presents herself to be -- although the actress blamed most of them on her longtime partner Kurt Russell.
“I swear to God, this sounds terrible, but that was Kurt too,” Hawn said in defense of the police incident.
Hawn also revealed that she used to be a go-go dancer for $25 a night.
Schumer, who stayed surprisingly quiet (probably because she was too busy being entertained by Hawn), revealed she had taken a naked selfie, but that's about it.
"You're winning," Schumer told Hawn.