It's the penultimate episode of "Celebrity Big Brother," and if you've ever watched this show, you know that means nothing happens. The Final Five got to enjoy a celebratory meal and some wine that Brandi Glanville wasn't around to drink all of so they could reminisce about the season.
Basically, it's a combination clip show and flashback show revealing unseen footage. But with the likes of Omarosa and Brandi in the house, it may just be the most entertaining episode of the season.
We're going to run this season like you'd run a department store. Each product, or celebrity, may have come in with equal value, but pretty quickly you start to see that certain ones aren't working. First, you try discounting them to see if they can turn things around and become solid performers again. But if that doesn't work, it's time to put them on clearance so you can sell them out (the door). With that said, we'll take a final look at our inventory, ranked from our strongest performer to our weakest ... after we spotlight some wonderful items in stock.
SPOTLIGHT ITEM - Omarosa's Tell-All
We got several looks back at some more conversations Omarosa had with the Houseguests throughout the season about her time in the Donald Trump White House. "I'm thinking of writing a tell-all," she told them. "He's going to come after me with everything he has. Like, I'm going up against a kazillionaire. So I'll probably end up in court for the next-- But I have to tell my truth. I'm tired of being muted."
She said she'd been loyal for so long, just putting everything she knew and learned on a shelf. "I've been defending someone for so long," she said. "Now I'm like, 'Yo, you are a special kind of f-cked up. And that special breed of [f-cked up]? They're about to learn all about it.'"
But perhaps her strongest feeling was just how she felt about being out now. "I have been so loyal to the point people have been looking at me like something is wrong, like, 'Why didn't you just say something?' But that was all I had is my word. And I have been so loyal. But ooh freedom! I am emancipated, I feel like off of a plantation!"
Omarosa gave just a teaser of what readers might be able to expect when she was asked about Trump's tweets. She said it's a distraction ruse the media falls for every time. "They still fall for it. Donald will tweet something, insult somebody's face, the press will be on that for three days and we pushed through sixteen unfunded mandates and nobody would notice," she said.
SPOTLIGHT ITEM - Marissa the Strip Club Bathroom Attendant
One of the gems we missed out on the first time around was a conversation between the Houseguests about their best and worst jobs before they became famous. Ross Mathews revealed that he used to work at a plus-sized women's lingerie store ... and got fired for shoplifting. "In my defense it was a pair of pajama bottoms that was a little unisex," Ross said to try and justify.
But the biggest shock for everyone was when Marissa Jaret Winokur revealed that she had worked at a strip club.
At first, this freaked Mark McGrath out a little, worried he might have seen her. "I may have spent a little time in gentlemen's clubs in New York City a lot in the '90s," he said. "I think I put someone through college."
Marissa, though, was a women's bathroom attendant, which was both lucrative and a little awkward for her. "I would just stand there and talk and like the girls would be in the bathroom making out and I'd be like, 'Do you guys need anything?'" she laughed. "I'm like such a prude. I made so much money that I was like, 'Oh my god, I should just drop out of college.' And then I did and got my first Broadway show and I was gone -- and I made more money [as an attendant] than I did in a Broadway show."
The wine aisle may have been closed after the eviction of Brandi Glanville, but CBS reopened it with this flashback-heavy episode. We got to see Brandi fight with the house, call out everyone's gameplay and incessantly nag James Maslow, but the weirdest thing we didn't know was her jealousy of Ross and Ariadna Gutierrez.
The two just bonded on a visceral level neither of them saw coming. "If Ari and I ever got in a relationship we would be happy ... except for wellyouknow, but otherwise, we'd be thrilled," Ross explained. Ariadna echoed his sentiments, saying, "Ross is the perfect man because he's funny, he's super-smart, he's fast on his jokes, and he has such a great sense of fashion and I love that. If only Ross were straight he would be definitely the best boyfriend."
But guess who wasn't happy for them? "I do not like Ross and Ari together. I feel like they're cheating on me; both of them are," Brandi explained. "He doesn't know anything about fashion. And makeup? He doesn't even wear makeup. What are you doing? Get off of my territory. She's mine, Ross!"
Ross Matthews ("Chelsea Lately") has the strongest chance here, but it's everyone's game at this point. If you can make it to the Final Five from here, you've got a shot. Ross has had a stellar season strategically, and has an alliance or deal with almost everyone left in the house, so his shot at sitting in the Final Two is the strongest. Plus, he's a great speaker and has definitely earned his place in the finals.
Ariadna Gutierrez (almost Miss Universe) is beloved by everyone in the house, and snatched up a couple of key competition wins along the way. She is both savvy and intelligent, so as long as she can make a compelling final speech, she's got a decent chance of winning the game. She has a better chance of making the finals than most of the other players because her chances of winning will be underestimated.
Marissa Jaret Winokur ("Hairspray") faces the toughest challenge in getting to the end, but if she does get there, she arguably has the best chance of winning. Unfortunately, she's not great at physical challenges and virtually no one left in the house wants to sit next to her in the finals. That said, if she gets there, she's a real contender.
Omarosa Manigault ("The Apprentice") has an uphill battle ahead of her, but she has proven very clever at convincing people of bigger threats in the house than her. Now, she needs to continue her narrative of telling them there's no way she can win and she's got a shot of convincing someone to take her to the finals. It's a long-shot, but if she gets there, she's got a solid shot of arguing her way to a win.
Mark McGrath (Sugar Ray) ironically has the best shot of making it to the Final Two, but the worst shot of winning. Unless he goes with Omarosa and the jury is very angry, he's unlikely to come out of this in a better spot than second. His late-game surge came just too late and most people see him as having done very little throughout the game, whereas the other four were working and playing hard from Day One.