Only five of tonight's 11 acts advance to next week's finals, which sucks because more than five of them are totally deserving!
There was a results show on "America's Got Talent," but it was hard to tell at first with all the screaming fans of BTS blowing the roof off the theater to their live performance of "Idol."
It was a night of singers, too, including seven of the 11 acts that performed on Tuesday night. I took a bold stance and did not fill my Top 5 with singers, but is that what you did? You've proven year in and year out that you love your "AGT" singers, despite this being a show with unlimited variety and potential.
Go watch "The Voice" or "American Idol" if you love singers so much! Okay, I'm sorry. I'm being harsh. Maybe you didn't do as badly as I thought you would going into this. There were only four acts that didn't involve singers and I chose three of them to advance. Sorry, Da Republik, when the kids at a first grade dance recital can perform more in sync than you did, it might be time for your journey to end.
But they've got that sad sob story, you say. We've all got sob stories but I don't see you voting me into the finals. Anyway, let's get on with it and see how mad you made me tonight ... or if you've impressed me again with your brilliance by agreeing with my choices.
Who do I think I am? you ask. Well, I spent nearly a decade of my life sweating and bleeding to the music as a dancer. From a young boy learning a shuffle-ball-change to performing with the St. Louis Ballet Company, I experienced the ups and downs of one of the most difficult physically demanding sports on the planet. During this time, I was also a member of the St. Louis Symphony Youth Orchestra, as well as a gymnast, writer and cartoonist. I had a lot more energy in my younger years. And I've spent the last sixteen years analyzing and critiquing reality competition shows for various media publications. I've got this.
In a departure from previous weeks, the show didn't kick off with the ridiculous "Dunkin' Save." Instead, BTS performed right out of the gate, which had me a little suspicious that their performance was pre-taped. How can this mean as much if I know those girls aren't screaming right now? Those screams have already echoed throughout the theater and faded into nothingness.
I do, however, believe that this was them performing live because they ... did not sound good as this thing started. I'm not sure this performance would have gotten past Simon in the first round. I don't think their fans could hear anything over their own screaming, though, so it's okay. They still cute and it did get better by the end.
The show had some fun with fans on Hollywood Blvd. by having lookalikes of the four "AGT" judges. Well, actually, only three of them were lookalikes. Heidi Klum was the real deal, only she was totally pretending she wasn't.
"Oh my God, you look so much like her," said one fan when Heidi turned to look at her. She had a lot of fun putting on an American accent and tormenting the show's fans. It was a cute segment, inasmuch as these time fillers can be entertaining, though probably more of a thrill for those fans than the acts waiting to find out their fate tonight.
A Magical Cirque Christmas
Cirque du Soleil offers up some of the most mesmerizing and mind-blowing acrobatic stuts on the planet, so what the hell was this mess?
There was nothing Christmas about it, and not a single one of the four acts did anything exciting. It's like we got Cirque du Substitutes instead of the real performers. And if this was supposed to encourage people to buy tickets to their show, they may have just convinced those who already have to try and unload those bad boys.
Have I mentioned that I hate this manipulative, overwrought game by the show to torment more acts through an already tense evening. If the Top 5 are going through, why can't the Top 5 go through?
No, we need the fourth, fifth and sixth place acts to all battle it out again during this live show. It's a slap into the face to the original voters on Tuesday night and an act of cruelty to all three acts.
Tonight, the three acts made to suffer were Daniel Emmet, Glennis Grace and We Three. But for real, America? You do know Glennis gave the best vocal performance of any semifinalist this season, right? How are you gonna put my top pick in danger like this? I can see we're gonna fight tonight.
Tyra Banks then singled out Aaron Crow, Vicki Barbolak and Da Republik, and as two of them were in my Top 5, this wasn't a great development. I totally agree Vicki Barbolak deserves her spot, but how can you deny Aaron the chance to torment the judges again. It's gonna be more singers, isn't it?
Vicki's totally gonna get that Denny's date with Simon now.
Next, it was the moment of truth for Noah Guthrie, Courtney Hadwin and Christina Wells. I only had one in my Top 5, and you didn't let me down this time, sending the deserving Courtney Hadwin on to the finals.
And then it was down to Angel City Chorale and Brian King Joseph and once again, you came through for me. Brian King Joseph rocked the house last night and deserves this chance. Maybe we're not gonna fight too much, after all. Boy, you had me going there for a bit!
Finally, we got to t he Dunkin' Save trio, and America redeemed themselves for not automatically putting Glennis Grace through Tuesday night by sending her on tonight.
Out of We Three and Daniel Emmet, though, it was more of a toss-up what the judges would do. I had Daniel in sixth, while I thought We Three faltered more this round. Ultimately, the judges agreed and Daniel Emmet made his way into the finals.
So once again, five of my top six acts advanced, and I guess I owe you another apology, America. Maybe you're just too sensitive for what Aaron does. You did boot The Sacred Riana, as well. I just hope they don't show up at your house to tell them how they feel about it.
It all ends next week with the two-night "America's Got Talent" finale, Tuesday and Wednesday at 8 p.m. ET on NBC.
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