She also reveals her biggest regret about how their breakup played out on TV.
When asked if Nikki regretted sharing her breakup on television, the retired WWE wrestler replied, "The one thing I really regret about showcasing the breakup is that no one got to hear [John's] voice, and it just seemed so one-sided. I felt like that wasn't fair to him because he was on this journey with us from the beginning."
"What people don't realize is that John never took one paycheck from 'Total Bellas,'" Nikki continued. "It was beautiful -- he was fully there to support me. I'll never forget his support and his love. That's what made me sad -- I don't want to say it became the Nikki show, but in a way it did because you didn't get to see John anymore."
Nikki and Cena's rollercoaster of a relationship, which lasted six years, ended for good in summer 2018, just a few months after the broke off their engagement.
In the interview, Nikki expressed how her family "loves John" and never coddled her through her breakup. "I love John -- he's such an amazing person," she explained. "The timing was off. But I love my family for that -- they have never once been pro Nicole in this, and that is what has helped me grow."
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Our Jan/Feb cover stars are the Bella Twins, arguably the most famous female wrestlers ever, and we’re excited to share their exclusive digital covers (swipe —> to check them out!) The sisters are also sharing what it’s like to be so open all the time: “We aren’t the type to fake anything. The good, the bad, the ugly—you get it all,” says Brie. . . But even if you’re an avid fan of their reality show #TotalBellas, there are a few things you might not know about the twins—like how they got their start: “Nicole and I were athletes, but we also loved to lip-synch to the Spice Girls,” says Brie. And when she found wrestling, she realized it was a mix of athleticism and entertainment. “It was everything we loved to do,” she continues. “So I persuaded Nicole to try out.” The Bellas didn’t make it into the #WWE at first but they were offered a spot in a training program, which exposed them to how physically taxing wrestling can be. “We went to this chiropractor who told us we were basically putting our bodies through a car accident every night,” says Nikki. “When you are wrestling, you almost grow this inch-or-two-thick layer of fluid to protect you.” . . The next challenge came when they started to do televised matches. “In a way, that’s when I felt like we had made it. But the criticism was hard,” said Nikki. “Everyone started calling me the fat twin. It was the first time I really lost my self-confidence. Through Brie and the support of other people, I started to care more about what I thought than what other people said.” . . Tap the link in bio for the full story, including how working closely with family has brought them together and what it’s like to go through such a public break up. (📸: @womenirl yutsai88)
Even Brie admitted that she felt her twin sister made a "big mistake" at first.
"I did [think that] for a long time because they were just such a lovely couple, and I thought they were such a perfect match," Brie explained. "Because I'm married, I felt like there are ups and downs in relationships, and you work on things -- you don't just give up. But then, after the breakup, I started seeing that they both wanted different things. So then I approved of the breakup."
"In past relationships, I feel like I was always trying to be perfect and was walking on eggshells because I didn't want to upset that other person or make them leave me," she said. "Artem is the first person I've been with where I feel like I can be Nicole and never fear he's going to leave me for it. We all have a little crazy in us, and he loves my crazy. He's also the first person I’ve communicated everything I feel with. Brie was saying I'm almost too honest with him. But I'd rather him know everything."
While Nikki has often expressed in the past about wanting a baby, the E! star's views seemed to have changed a bit.
"I definitely want to be a mom one day, but I don't want it now," she expressed, adding that she suffers from polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). Nikki also revealed that she has frozen her eggs.
"I'm in this unfortunate situation where I'm 36 and everyone is reminding me, 'It kills your fertility,'" she said. "I'm getting brown spots all over my face, acne, weight fluctuations, and hair loss. I actually just found out and was devastated. You research it, and there is no cure. I just pray I have some fertile eggs left and that I can still be a mom."
The Dec/Jan issue of Health is on newsstands Dec. 20.
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