"My eyes shift between the fuzzy images on the screen, the remnants of my ovarian tormentor, and Mark happily snacking away," she recalled in an excerpt given to Haute Living.
"Sex can be so traumatic I think, and yet one of us is completely undaunted," she explained. "There he is, happily munching on the saltines now and ordering a second apple juice. Mark could be at a movie, or a spa. Instead, I'm flat on my back wondering when the other two cysts will burst."
Next came the realization of another horror -- how her new husband had hastily dressed her for the hospital visit.
Looking down Ripa discovered Consuelos had put her in a 1980s French-cut leotard, a pair of oversized track pants, and "f--k me" Manolo Blahniks.
"Also, here is my husband, who is, dare I say, stylish, well-dressed at all times, and yet he dressed me like a dime store prostitute in my time of need," Ripa writes. "It's still baffling to me to this day that this is the best costume for the day that he could find for me, to the point where, when I was on the stretcher, I thought I was dreaming; I was having a nightmare. I didn't realize I had come to."
Of course, the couple -- who just celebrated 26 years of marriage and share three children -- can laugh about all this now.
In fact the "Live with Kelly and Ryan" co-host said her husband is the "biggest champion" of the book.
"He allowed me to share these intimate moments because frankly, I think he found them entertaining," she told Haute Living. "At the end of the day, I don't think he would still be in this marriage if he didn't find me entertaining."
"Live Wire: Long-Winded Short Stories" is available September 27.