Regina King Speaks About Son Ian's Death for First Time: 'The Sadness Will Never Go Away'

The actress appeared on Thursday's episode of Good Morning America, in which she gave her first television interview since her son Ian Alexander Jr. died by suicide two years ago.

Ian -- King's only child she shared with her ex-husband Ian Alexander Sr. -- passed away on Jan. 20, 2022, a day after his 26th birthday.

While speaking with ABC's Robin Roberts, King, 53, got emotional as she spoke about her journey through grief, her son's battle with mental health, and how she's doing now.

"I'm a different person now than I was January 19. I am," she said.

"Grief is a journey, you know. I understand that grief is love that has no place to go," she added. "I know that it's important to me to honor Ian in the totality of who he is, speak about him in the present, because he is always with me and the joy and happiness that he gave all of us."

The Oscar winner then opened up about her son's mental health struggles.

"When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way -- they expect it to look heavy," King said, pausing as she began to get choked up. "To have to experience this and not be able to have the time to just sit with Ian's choice, which I respect and understand ... He didn't want to be here anymore, and that's a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience, did not live Ian's journey."

Roberts noted that she believes "a lot of people are going to appreciate" that King "recognize[s]" that it was Ian's "choice."

However, King admitted that she was "so angry with God."

"Why would that weight be given to Ian?" she said, wiping away tears. "Of all of the things that we had gone through -- therapy, psychiatrists, programs -- and Ian was like, 'I'm tired of talking, Mom."

"My favorite thing about myself is being Ian's mom," she added. "And I can't say that with a smile, with tears, with all of the emotion that comes with that ... I can't do that if I did not respect the journey."

Meanwhile, Roberts mentioned King's "close bond" with her son, including how he would attend red carpet events with her, and noted that she wore an orange gown -- Ian's "favorite color" -- to the 2024 Oscars last Sunday.

When asked if there are moments that "trigger" her, such as attending events that he used to go to with her, King said, "Oh, it's a trigger. Absolutely. Absolutely."

"Sometimes it'll trigger just laughter," she continued. "Most times, as of recent, it triggers a smile, but sometimes the absence, his absence, is really loud."

However, as Roberts noted, the Shirley star shared that she still "struggles with acceptance,"

"Sometimes, a lot of guilt comes over me," King told Roberts. "When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, 'What could I have done so that wouldn't have happened?' I know that I share this grief with everyone, but no one else is Ian's mom, you know? Only me. So it's mine."

"The sadness will never go away," she emotionally added. "It will always be with me."

"The sadness is a reminder of how much means to me," King concluded.