Nori's Notebook: Your Favorite North West Parody Recaps Khloe Giving Birth in Tense Delivery Room with 'Piece of Shit' Tristan

The woman behind Nori's Black Book -- a viral parody Instagram account written entirely in the voice of Kim Kardashian's sassy 5-year-old daughter -- is bringing her talents to TooFab.

Each week, "Nori" will be recapping new episodes of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and giving us HER take on all the family drama.

(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)

Sunday's "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" opened with Auntie Khloe going to the hospital to give birth. Tristan's friend, Savas Oguz, drove her to the hospital and kept her company until Tristan, her doctor and the rest of the family arrived in Cleveland. I can't tell if Savas is a friend-turned-assistant or assistant-turned-friend. Basically, I want to know if he's one of the Malikas or a Stephanie Shepherd.

Tristan managed to slither out from underneath whatever Instagram model he was under and arrive at the hospital first. It was important for Auntie Khloe to experience the birth of her daughter with him. She said she wanted to enjoy her birthing experience and not make any decisions about their relationship. Says a lot about Tristan when Auntie Khloe would rather give birth than have a conversation with him.

The doctor, Kris, Auntie Kourt, Mommy and one of the Malikas showed up in time to be there for Cousin True's arrival. There was not as much tension as I anticipated, but that didn't stop Mommy from making faces behind Tristan's back. She's so mature.

Auntie Khloe gave birth like a pro. Kris delivered the baby, and she described the experience as "once in a lifetime." I guess she forgot she also delivered Stormi. In Kris' backwards world, "once in a lifetime" can happen twice.

True is Tristan's second child, but he said on Sunday's episode, "They say girls change your life," to which Auntie Kourt responded with, "We can only pray." I would implore Tristan to look at Scott -- it doesn't. I think he actually got exponentially worse after Penelope was born.

While Auntie Khloe was in the hospital, she said no one wanted to address the big elephant in the room. The family agreed to have a meeting at a later date with Tristan, per his request.

Back in Calabasas, Mommy attended her 20-year high school reunion. She didn't bring her ID and didn't wear a name tag. I don't know how anyone knew who she was. Ironically, in high school, she was voted most likely to be successful without having a real talent.

Later, Mommy and Kris gave Cousin CeCe a recap of the family meeting with Tristan, which was not filmed. Kris noted that Tristan was very remorseful and felt sick about everything that happened, but Mommy wasn't buying it. She believed he was more embarrassed by how he looked and how it would affect his basketball career. Apparently, Tristan got upset when Kris suggested that he should go be with "Instagram whores" and do his thing. But since the meeting was private, I have to ask: If it happened off camera, did it really even happen?

Later, Mommy appeared on "Ellen," and of course, she was asked about Tristan and Auntie Khloe. Simply put, she said she felt the situation was, "f--ked up." Mommy then called Auntie Khloe to give her a heads up about the interview, and Auntie Khloe said, "It is f--ked up, and he's a complete piece of shit. Honestly, you can feel however you want, but I've got other shit to deal with right now."

Tristan wasn't as understanding about Mommy's comments, though. He called her an instigator and blocked her on social media. I feel for Tristan. Mommy is always bad-mouthing me on "Ellen," too. Every time she goes on that show, I end up blocking her.

Auntie Kourt and Mommy said they didn't think Tristan was going to change but that they would support Auntie Khloe if she wanted to continue a relationship with him. We were supportive of Uncle Rob and Blac Chyna, too -- and look how well that turned out. This family will never learn.

Meet me back here next week when I recap Episode 14 of my show.

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