"They live in constant danger of wandering off the edge of the planet."
"Looking down from two miles above the surface of the Earth, it is impossible not to be impressed by the sheer grandeur, splendor and power of the natural world. But perhaps most impressive of all.... is just how very flat it is."
So opens the latest Nerdist Planet Earth parody trailer, which mercilessly trolls those who believe the Earth is flat.
The clip is narrated by David Attenborough-sound alike, whose reverent descriptions are the hallmark of the beloved BBC series.
"Here we are at the ends of the Earth, Antarctica," he breathes. "While the flatness of the Earth may be awe-inspiring, it presents many dangers to the natural world."
"While these penguins may look cute, in truth they are some of the bravest creatures on Earth. They live in constant danger of wandering off the edge of the planet."
The clip tragically follows one young penguin, whose curiosity gets the better of him and he leaps off the edge.
"Sadly, this young flightless bird is now destined to fall forever through the endless recesses of space," the narrator laments.
The documentary then turns to turtle hatchlings by Australia's Great Barrier Reef.
"Every year, hundreds of sea turtles are born here, and venture off into the water. But only a small handful return as fully grown adults," he reveals. "The reason is clear: they are cosmic beings, whose flippers double as wings, to propel them off the edge of the Earth, soaring into the great unknown."
"Farewell, space turtles; perhaps one day you will come back and share your space knowledge with us."
The trailer points out how the natural world exposes one of the major flaws in the theory the Earth is a rotating sphere, pointing out that when kangaroos, frogs and crickets jump straight up in the air they shouldn't land in the same spot.
"This flat Earth belongs to all of nature's creatures: from the tiny shew, to the colossal blue whale. And to mutant lizard people, who live in the hollow tunnels millions of miles below the Earth's surface, developing technology for our Illuminati overlords."