"She had like a three-hour break between her and Roger before she moved on," Ronnie says.
But before "24" took Jenni on their first official public date, she filled her roommates in on the new guy in her life. Last week, Jenni cautiously revealed to Angelina Pivarnick and Lauren Sorrentino she was having tons of sex with a 24-year-old, who quickly became known as "24." During the new hour, he got a name: Zack.
A giddy JWoww told the girls Zack was her "friend's little brother" and that he actually attended her wedding to Roger Mathews. "We're completely different. Not a tattoo, nothing," she explained. "Total white boy. Polo-khaki-wearing. Not my style at all."
In her confessional, Jenni said Zack made her heart "feel something besides being dead inside."
"But then he turns into this f--king monster in bed," she told the girls. "I was like, 'Are you an escort? Like, what's going on?' It wasn't normal. I had to look up positions and stuff! You ever hear of closed missionary? Apparently, it's a thing."
The girls had not, but they certainly looked it up. We'll give you some time to do the same.
Fast-forward to Ariana's 1st birthday party at Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Jen Harley's Las Vegas home. The event went smoothly, with the exception of Jen asking a sober Ron to make her a margarita and then spending the whole party screaming about wanting to take shots. Lauren tried to guide Jen on how to be supportive of her newly sober boyfriend, but only time will tell if the advice registered.
During the party, Jenni sorta-kinda let it slip in front of Ron that she was seeing someone. He was floored and wanted to know more. Naturally, Ronnie choked when he heard the guy's age. After all, Jenni's 37 and has two kids.
"He's 24 what?" Ron asked innocently.
"Years old!" Angelina shouted.
Lauren tried to convince Ronnie Zack was a "mature" 24, but Ron wasn't buying it. "How f--king mature can you be at 24?"
"She likes him!" Angelina interjected. "She ice-cubes her vagina!" Pardon???
Anyway, to her face, Ron was happy for Jenni. In his confessional, though, he threw a little shade. "I don't even think the papers are finished being printed for the divorce," he said. "I mean, I'm not no relationship guru, but Jenni's so good at giving advice, I'm sure she knows exactly what she's doing."
Shortly after, Lauren's phone rang. It was an inmate. Our favorite inmate. Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino!
"I just wanted to call and say hello," Mike said on speakerphone. "I also wanted to call and wish Ariana a happy birthday... I miss everybody so much. I can't wait to see everybody."
The next day was Big Daddy' Sitch's "cheat day." Yes, he observed the weekly holiday even in prison. He told Laurens he couldn't wait to get his hands on Doritos, Cheez Doodles and "prison pizza," whose crust is essentially a tortilla.
When Ronnie got on the phone, Mike told him he was "doing great" and that he thought he "might be home a little sooner than later."
"I'll be in very, very, very good shape. The Situation will no longer be under construction," he said. "And I heard you have a sponsor, you're doing meetings and you're working one day at a time, the program, so I'm very proud of you. It works if you work it, buddy."
Ron was touched.
"That was not what I was expecting," Vinny said to Pauly after the visit. "Very informal and low security-type place," Pauly noted.
"The prisoners were right there, just chillin'," Vinny said, as Pauly said he could "bust Mike out right now."
Vinny was a bit taken aback by seeing Mike in his green prison uniform because that's when it became "real," but he said his friend was doing well.
"He was so calm, so relaxed. Somebody does his laundry in there!" Pauly said. "And he gets a haircut twice a week. He works out every day for two hours. Eats what he wants."
The boys determined the only thing Mike was truly missing from the outside world was his wife.
Meanwhile, Jenni went to go visit a very pregnant Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, who noticed Jenni was "smitten." JWoww told Snooki she wanted to invite Zack to Vegas to meet everyone and that she couldn't stop smiling. As if we couldn't tell!
Jenni then FaceTimed the man of the hour, who was on his way to visit his lady to take her on their proper first date. "I think Jenni's falling in love with you!" Nicole shouted into the phone.
She wasn't wrong.
Fast-forward to the actual date. Jenni was so "nervous." It was adorable. She got to the restaurant first and sat down at a table set for two. Soon after, Zack showed up with a bouquet of flowers.
"Hello, my love," he said as he went in for a hug and a kiss on the lips.
"This is actually the first date of Zack and I in the public," Jenni told the camera. "I'm already extra nervous because Zack is f--king hot. Like, really hot. And he's really into me. And I love that! I didn't want a relationship because I was so basically scorned, but I never thought I was gonna find someone like him. He just really started making it apparent that he wants to be part of my everyday life, so I just hope he's willing to go to Vegas with my roommates because I'm in this relationship 100 percent, and I hope he is, too."
Based on the fact that Zack could not stop smiling the entire time, we'd venture to say he was head over heels. There was one somewhat awkward moment when JWoww told Zack the roommates called him "24," which he didn't seem to like, but other than that, the date went great. Jenni was particularly giddy and kept stumbling over her words, but she eventually invited Zack to Vegas to meet the rest of the "Jersey Shore" cast.
"Is that really what you want?" he asked. "Then let's do it."
The two then had the always-awkward "are we exclusive" conversation, and the rest -- as they say -- is history.
Meanwhile, Ron went to go visit Angelina, and the two once again chatted about Jenni's relationship behind her back. Pulling up Zack's Instagram page, Ronnie said, "Yeah, that's who she moved on to."
"I didn't know she was gonna be in like a full-blown, girlfriend-boyfriend relationship with this guy," Angelina said.
"We'll see what happens," Ronnie replied, "because once you start bringing somebody into our world that's not used to it, that's when all the fun starts."
"Do you think she's moving too fast?" Angelina asked.
"Yeah," Ron repied. "I wanna talk to her and let her know that she needs to enjoy life, be single. Like, go travel the world or something. That's who she is, and she needs to just let it out. Because if not, she's just gonna end up dating this poor kid and ruining his life."
"Or the other way around," Angelina interjected.
"She had like a three-hour break between her and Roger before she moved on," Ronnie said. "The problem was is that she decided to get married at the peak of her career, and a lot of us took advantage of all the opportunities, traveling, we got to grow and live our lives, and Jenni stayed where she was. And now she has that opportunity, and she's gonna go crazy."
"Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on MTV.
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