"One minute he's asking me about my sex life, the next minute he's grabbing me!" Angelina says.
Hello and welcome to another shocking recap of "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation."
Thursday's episode was actually insane. As we saw in the explosive mid-season trailer, Jenni "JWoww" Farley and Angelina Pivarnick will eventually get into a nasty war over what Jenni's 24-year-old boyfriend, Zack Clayton Carpinello, did or didn't do with Angelina. She insisted he grabbed her butt, while Jenni was seen telling Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi that Angelina "f--king kissed him."
Tonight, the drama began to unfold.
Immediately after meeting up with the whole group in Las Vegas, Zack took a strange liking (or disliking?) to Angelina. While out day-drinking at a pool party, Jenni made a comment about how Angelina doesn't have sex with her fiancé, Chris, "but wants to bang everything else."
"Yeah, what's up with that?" Zack pressed, "Why don't you have sex?"
"I am having sex," Angelina shot back -- only prompting Zack to ask, "Why didn't you before?" After Angelina said they "had a little bit of a dry spell," Zack, again, wanted to know why. Angelina was visibly annoyed but responded anyway, saying it had to do with stresses related to their house.
Still, 24 -- Zack's nickname -- wasn't satisfied. "When's the last time you did it?" Zack asked Angelina, who answered, "Last week?" He then wanted to know about the time "before that." Angelina called out 24 for the questioning and announced, "From now on, my sex life is none of anyone's business." In her confessional, she was angry. She felt 24's probing was out of line.
In another drunken confessional -- after telling Deena Cortese she wanted to fart in 24's face -- Angelina insisted that Zack must have "a small dick."
"If he comes at me sideways tonight, it's game on, bro!" she promised. "It ain't happening. I'm gonna call him out and be like, 'You have a 2-inch dick. Get the f--k out of here. You don't know shit.' I don't like him."
Later, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro brought baby Ariana to see the group. She was absolutely ovary-exploding. When she crawled her way over to Angelina, Zack decided to say, "She must be really drunk, going over to Angelina."
Angelina noticed 24 was steering clear of the baby, so she asked if he was sure he didn't want to have one with Jenni, who in the moment said she didn't want more kids. In her confessional, JWoww said she felt Angelina was still harping on Zack because of earlier. "I don't play that shit," she said.
Angelina then vented to Deena about how 24 rubbed her the wrong way, but what she didn't know was that 24 was eavesdropping the whole time. He ran over to Jenni to let her know that Angelina was "talking shit about me." Jenni apologized for her costar and was visibly annoyed. "There's talking shit, and then there's Angelina as a human being," she told her boyfriend. Zack agreed, adding, "She's just being an idiot."
JWoww later told the camera, "The fact that she's allowing him to get underneath her skin -- that's just showing who she is as a person. But don't try and turn it on him because he's actually not even being malicious. But I will be."
The girls and Zack then headed to dinner, where tensions only got higher. Zack kept referring to Angelina as his "bestie." She wasn't having it, so Deena suggested everyone "squash this bullshit." Zack insisted he didn't have an issue with Angelina, but that feeling wasn't necessarily reciprocated.
Deena tried to mediate the situation, explaining to 24 that he had hurt Angelina's feelings when he "attacked" her upon meeting her. Jenni fiercely defended her man.
Angelina explained she felt the probing was "a little weird" but that she answered his questions anyway. JWoww's defense was that Angelina's openly talked about her sex life with the roommies in the past, so she felt it was fair game for Zack to bring up. "I'm an open book, and I don't want it to be thrown in my face later on," Angelina said, before Jenni whispered to Deena, "She should also keep her mouth shut."
Although Zack's apology seemed sincere and Angelina accepted it, Jenni would not let up, telling Angelina she was "making excuses" for the fact that she "talks shit" and then gets upset when people judge her for the things that she says. JWoww insisted Angelina was "stirring the pot" and needed to be checked.
"Angelina, you can disrespect your man any day of the week, but when it comes to me, you're not gonna disrespect mine," JWoww maintained. Poor Angelina could barely get a word in edge wise. Deena wanted nothing to do with the whole situation.
Eventually, the topic simmered, and everyone proceeded to get haaaaammered.
After dinner, they stumbled their way to Drai's Nightclub and met up with Vinny Guadagnino, who was stunned (not really) to find that his roommates were all "hot messes." Deena was dancing on tables, Jenni couldn't keep her eyes open and Angelina had taken her loose hair and stuffed it into her boobs. There is literally no better way for us to describe that for you.
Eventually, Jenni started dirty dancing on her man, while Angelina dirty danced on Jenni. At one point, Angelina leaned in and kissed both Zack and JWoww. It looked like the three pecked on the mouth, but from the camera angle, it was hard to tell. Regardless, Jenni didn't seem to mind. Soon after, she was trashed. She couldn't stop falling over and leaning on people. Vin said he had never seen her so drunk.
"I don't even remember seeing Vinny that night," she later admitted to an off-camera producer. "I swear. Oh, I don't remember any of it. This is embarrassing."
Jenni and her limp body threw themselves onto 24, who proceeded to put his hand around her neck (in a sexual way, nothing violent) while whispering in her ear. It was uncomfortable for everyone except Angelina, who was only standing upright by some sort of miracle. Within seconds, Jenni was sitting on the floor, asleep with her head in between 24's legs.
So Angelina started dancing by Zack's side. He eventually put his arm around her lower waist/hip. Angelina's eyes immediately bugged out of her head, later telling the camera that "his hands are big, so it was on my ass and my side."
He pulled her in close and said, "Are we friends now?" Angelina gave 24 her hand and smiled. But then, he grabbed her legs, so she got up and started dancing next to him instead.
"One minute he's asking me about my sex life, the next minute he's grabbing me!" Angelina said in a later confessional. "He doesn't know what boundaries are. This is gonna be a problem," she said, insisting she wanted no part of what was happening.
Vinny, who was nowhere near as drunk as the others, claimed he saw 24 "grabbing Angelina's ass a little bit" and knew Jenni would've lost her mind had she seen the exchange.
In the elevator on their way out of the venue, Zack had his arm around Jenni. He looked over at Angelina and put his other arm around her. As he leaned in, she stared straight into the camera and the episode ended.
"Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on MTV.
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