Kanye liked Hilton's song but thought French Montana could make it better.
Each week, "Nori" recaps new episodes of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and gives us HER take on all the family drama.
(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)
Sunday's episode of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" started with Khloe, Kim and Kris discussing the upcoming Met Gala. Kim said she was down 3 lbs and that she needed to lose 3 more before the Met. She was going to be wearing vintage Thierry Mugler, while Kendall and Kylie were set to wear Versace. Kris showed Khloe and Kylie her look for the Met, which concerned Khloe and Kim. They gave her some notes for her look and to "save her life."
I find it comical that Auntie Khloe, someone who will never be invited to the Met Gala, is critiquing an outfit for the Met Gala. That's like Penelope telling me how to pose for the cover of a magazine when she knows she will never be on the cover of a magazine. -NW
In the days leading up to the Met, Kim's schedule was super hectic. On top of her fittings, she had her law school studies, KKW photo shoots and the new baby on the way. Kim was overwhelmed and wished she had more time.
Literally no one asked her to have a fourth baby. This is on her, and she needs to stop playing the victim. -NW
Kim was having anxiety about having a fourth child and didn't really want a baby shower, so she met with her party planner, who suggested a calm and "zen" shower that was CBD themed.
The fourth kid is always treated poorly. Look at Uncle Rob. -NW
After the baby shower meeting, Kim hustled to her Met Gala fitting. The theme of 2019's Met Gala was Camp, which is over-the-top, theatrical fashion. Kim chose to go with Thierry Mugler for the Met Gala because she said she's always had a connection with the designer. Her dad, Robert, used to buy his fragrance for her. Kim had a corset made because she wanted to make her body look as Campy as possible. Nothing about the look was supposed to be natural.
Between Mommy's unnatural look, Auntie Kylie's wig and Kris' tacky outfit, I could've sworn this year's Met Gala theme was "Blac Chyna." I was disappointed to learn that I was very wrong, but it is something the committee might want to look into for next year. -NW
At Kourtney's house, Kourtney's assistant informed her that she discovered cash was missing from her wallet. Kourtney said she spent money the previous night but swore she had more money in her wallet. She didn't think the missing money was a coincidence because she recently noticed an iPad was also missing from her home. She said she has people she trusts coming in and out of her house all the time, but something just didn't feel right.
The same week Auntie Kourt's iPad went missing, Larsa showed up with a new iPad that was already logged into Auntie's Spotify account. Am I saying Larsa stole the iPad? Not without a lawyer present, I'm not. -NW
Later, Kim attended one of her surrogate's doctor's appointments. The baby was due the following week, but since the due date was very close to the Met Gala, Kim's sisters were going to be on standby in case the baby arrived early. Kim worked on her Met look for eight months and was committed to going and just hoped the baby didn't come while she was in New York.
Choosing the Met Gala over the possible birth of the new baby? I have no choice but to stan. -NW
Kim had her CBD baby shower, and her celebrity friends, like Paris Hilton and Chrissy Teigen, attended. Kim thought having a baby shower was most important for her kids because she wasn't actually pregnant, but they could see all the baby stuff and know the new baby was coming. At the party, Kim arranged for all her guests to participate in a sound bath so everyone could relax and have a zen moment. Khloe was freaked out by the whole thing and thought it was all a bunch of weird "cult" stuff.
Auntie Khloe thinks meditation resembles a cult, yet thinks DadYe's "Sunday Service" is totally normal. Interesting. -NW
Later at Kim's house, Kim played Paris Hilton's new song for Scott and Kourtney. She said Paris had asked her to be in the music video. The video shoot was the next day and Kim really didn't have time, but she thought it would be a great tribute to the good ol' days when she and Paris used to travel the world. Kanye liked the song but thought French Montana could make it better.
Paris' song was terrible, and I hate that Mommy had to pretend to be excited about being in the video. How long is she going to hold us hostage just because she let Mommy appear in a few paparazzi photos? Let's just send her a couple pairs of Yeezys and some KKW lip liners and call it even. -NW
Back at Khloe's house, Kourtney told Khloe and Kim's ex-assistant about a lady stealing money from her and Scott. Her security also informed her that the woman was snooping in her office with a flashlight. While Kourtney was talking, she got a text informing her that the woman was reading her text messages. The woman was still in Kourtney's home as she was finding out all this information.
Khloe thought it was crazy that she was still in the house and urged Kourtney to go say something to her. As they were en route to confront her, the woman drove off. Khloe was surprised by how passive Kourtney was being about the whole situation, but Kourtney was just happy she was gone. Going forward, Kourt said she wasn't going to interview people unless she had their social security numbers in advance.
I reviewed the surveillance footage and was shocked to see Larsa going through Kourtney's things. When you hire people to clean your house, you want to feel safe. Her house privileges were immediately revoked. -NW
At Kim's house, Kim talked to Khloe about being in Paris' music video. She had to squeeze in the shoot right before leaving for the Met, but she felt obligated to do it because Paris had given her a career. Khloe commended Kim for acknowledging that and doing Paris the favor.
This was cute, but when will Mommy acknowledge that I gave her a career? Mommy didn't get the cover of Vogue until I was born, and they wanted me in the spread or there was no deal. But they conveniently left that fact out of this episode. -NW
At the shoot, Paris thanked Kim for being in her video and for inspiring the song. Kim said hanging out with Paris was like stepping back into 2007 because she looked exactly the same. The video was set in a club, and it reminded Kim about when they used to go out and find the best clubs and stay there all night long. Kim was glad that Paris was the one that showed her the way.
This video shoot felt like we just released another Kardashian Kollection at Sears. We are going backwards! -NW
Kim headed to New York for the Met, but because she was stressed out about the possibility of the baby coming while she was gone, she checked on her surrogate to assure her that everything was going to be okay. When Kim landed, she attended her final fitting. Her dress was super complicated. It was very tight, she couldn't really breathe and it poked her. She also had to strategize how she was going to be able to go to the bathroom. She ultimately said she would leave if she had to pee, but that if it was an emergency, she would just pee on herself and her sisters could wipe up her leg.
Mommy's plan was to pee into her custom-made couture dress is the grossest display of wealth I've seen on this show. The writers are finally listening to me. -NW
Kim's look was supposed to look like she's coming out of the water because North always says she's an alien and Kim is a mermaid. Kim graced the cover of Vogue this year, so it was an extra special Met for her because her first year going, she was only in attendance as Kanye's plus one. She said no one really wanted her there. To have a solo U.S. Vogue cover was a dream come true for both her and Kanye.
Getting Mommy's solo Vogue cover was an iconic moment. Usually, the cover is reserved for supermodels and people with talent, but Mommy made it by taking selfies and yelling at her family on TV. Your fave could never. -NW
Later, Kanye went on a rant about transitioning from wanting Kim to show off her body, to being affected by it as her husband and the father of her kids. He felt that the corset was a form of underwear and wondered who Kim was trying to be "hot" for? Kim told him that for him to say he wasn't into the corset vibe or her tight dress the night before the Met Gala only worsened her anxiety. Kanye said it had begun to affect him when pictures of his wife were too sexy. But Kim said it was Kanye who built her up to be this sexy person and that, just because he was on this new journey, didn't mean she was, too. Kanye stormed out.
It's hurtful to see my parents fight like this on TV. However, it's great for ratings, so I'm actually really okay with it. DadYe needs to understand that Mommy's brand is sexy. If she can't be sexy, then who is she? Auntie Khloe, that's who. -NW
It was the day of the Met, and Kim, Kendall, Kylie and Kris were busy getting ready. Kim hadn't heard from her surrogate and was hoping to just make it through the day so she could get back home before the baby came. Kim said she was more nervous about the Met than she was about her wedding because, at the Met, there are photographs taken from all angels. Kendall was going to the Met with Donatella Versace. Kylie attended with her then-boyfriend, Travis Scott. Kris and her boyfriend, Corey Gamble, attended with Tommy Hilfiger and his wife.
Everyone's look came together, and the family looked artistic. I was proud to claim them that night. Even Kris. I actually told someone she was my grandma. Who am I? -NW
After the Met, Kim told her team she thought it was a good night and that everyone was super creative. Cher performed, and Kanye was a social butterfly and visited with a lot of tables. It was his first Met in about four years. Kim then changed into her second look of the night for the after party and hoped it photographed well.
When Kim got back home, she attended her surrogate's doctor's appointment. The doctor discovered that the baby was breached. It's dangerous to deliver when the baby is breached, so the doctor said if the baby didn't turn on his own that he was going to need to do a procedure called an aversion, when he would manually turn the baby. Kim had to go through that procedure with Saint and said it was very painful. However, the doctor was confident the baby would flip in the right position for the birth and didn't think the procedure would be needed.
Back at Kourtney's house, Kourtney gave Khloe and Kris an update on the robbery that took place in her home. The police were investigating, and Kourtney said that she was just trying to move on and let the police do their thing. She considered the whole situation a learning lesson. As a result of the robbery, Kourtney wanted to sage the house to get the lady's bad vibes out. Kris and Khloe helped.
My biggest takeaway from this situation is don't leave your garage door opener around Larsa. -NW
At Scott's house, Kim talked to Scott and Khloe about her experience at the Met Gala. While talking, Kim got a call from her doctor about the status of her surrogate. He told Kim that the baby was still breached and that they were going to do the aversion. He said they would also be inducing labor immediately after the procedure to keep the baby from turning again.
The writers are scrambling to give Sam an interesting storyline. We've already been through this with Uncle Rob, and it didn't work. We gave him every storyline imaginable, and people still weren't buying those socks he tried to sell. No one is interested in Sam. Let it go. -NW
"Keeping Up with the Kardashians" airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on E!
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