"It was the kind that kept me in bed for a month, crying, scared and uncertain about everything."
SuChin Pak, a MTV News correspondent from 2001 to 2008, claimed a racist and misogynistic incident occurred during her tenure at the network.
"Years ago, when I was a news correspondent at MTV, I overheard a colleague of mine, while watching me do the news that evening, tell a room full of people that I looked like a 'me sucky sucky love you long time' whore," Pak, 44, wrote via Instagram on Thursday, referencing a line spoken by a Vietnamese sex worker in 1987's "Full Metal Jacket."
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The South Korean-born American journalist said she was afraid to say anything in the moment, as she was the "only female in the newsroom."
"I woke up the next day though and it hit me that he said it in a room full of people, mostly women, who somehow now think subconsciously or consciously that this kind of [misogynistic], violent, racist language could be overlooked and dismissed and that worse, that someone like me would just swallow it and shrink into the small space that I was allowed to occupy," she continued.
The battle with the executives to have the person "removed" went on for months, according to Pak. She said her "gut" told her to keep up with the fight.
"It's the kind of sinking feeling though that doesn't give you strength, or bravery, it was the kind that kept me in bed for a month, crying, scared and uncertain about everything."
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View StoryPak referred to the recent spike in violence against the Asian American community -- including the Atlanta shootings on Tuesday where six Asian women were murdered -- as the reason for her speaking out now.
"In this moment, as many of you are shaking with fear, uncertainty and anger, feeling like you don't have any power to do anything, know that in the midst of feeling small and invisible, you have a deep sense of dignity, of self worth and holding on to that in the darkest of places is enough."
After hiring an attorney at the time, Pak said MTV kept "fighting to keep this man in a place of visibility and power, to shrink me down to submission and silence." Eventually, as a last resort at reconciliation, the unnamed colleague wrote her a formal letter of apology.
"I was reminded once again, by the white male executive, that someone's livelihood was on the line, that I was somehow responsible for that," Pak added.
"I walked out, never touched or opened that letter."
TooFab has reached out to MTV for comment.
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